Dxd: A Bizarre Adventure
by flameclawsxx
Summary: What can a normal, non-mage, not exorcist, humanly human do in a world full of literal gods and demons? 1: Pray that this works, 2: pull a Joseph Joestar, or 3: Take your fate into your own hands and force yourself to win... but hey... why not all three? (No Self Insert)
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own Dxd, Only the oc and any 'new' sacred gear I have created.**

"Speech"

'Thought'

**"Powerful Entities Talking"** (Such as dragons and angry gods who are shouting)

**[Boost]: Ddraig**

**{Divide} Albion**

* * *

A small boy, roughly five sits alone on a swing set, boreally swinging back and forth as he watches the other children play around the park.

He has snow white hair that goes down to about his ears and bright blue eyes, he appears to be wearing a simple white t-shirt that has green stains from grass and shorts that are slightly browned at the knees from dirt... that's right, a short-sleeved t-shirt and shorts even though it is nearing winter and he should obviously be considering a coat or at the very least, pants and a long-sleeved shirt.

This is... me... just your average everyday boy with no parents, and a serious problem with escaping the orphanage.

Sorry, average would be a bad word to describe me because I am... special... I can see the probabilities of certain events happening... as long as I ask of course, take this for instance: 'What are my chances of being randomly killed in the next ten minutes?'

**21.3%**

My eyes widen. 'that is... a lot higher than it should be.'

Another version of my ability... 'What is the most likely source of my death if I am going to be killed?'

**Serial Killer: 62.03%**  
**Falling Tree: 21.51%**  
**Tripping Over Your Shoelaces and Imbedding a Sharp Rock into Your Forehead 11.2099% **  
**Fallen Angel 5.24999%**  
**Stray Meteor 0.0001%**  
**Random Combustion 0.00001%**

Now, this ability tells me a couple of things, One: look out for any unstable-looking people, Two: Stay away from trees in general, you can never tell what those tree bastards are thinking so you have to stay a good 40 feet away from one at all times... Three: Tie my damned shoelaces... Four: there are supernatural creatures like 'Werewolves' and 'Vampires', which I have come to accept with this weird power, considering I keep getting things like 'Devil', 'Regular/Fallen Angel', or maybe even 'Stray Lycanthrope' which, for the last one, I don't exactly know what a 'Lycanthrope' actually is... but it sounds pretty bad, right? Oh, and number five and six are basically 'pray to not just get smote by god himself after he decides that you are the reason his stomach hurts after eating several bad burritos'.'

This power has probably saved my life already, but at the cost of sort of periodically chipping away at my innocence.

I have always been a smart kid... probably due to the numbers rushing around my head pretty much constantly, so first, I get up off the swing, bend down to tie my shoelace, eliminating eleven percent of my one hundred percent death should it actually happen... confusing, right?... then I simply gaze around the park and ask myself the key question.

'but who out of all these people are a serial killer?'

I blink as speech bubbles start appearing over people's heads, each with a simple percentage that tells me what I need to know, then it is just a simple game of 'see how fast I can find the highest number' and I do so spying one guy sitting alone on a bench with a dark hoodie, hood pulled up of course, and has both hands in his jacket pockets which seem to connect in the middle, plus I see an almost angular bulge just in front of his hands, so either he has monster golem hands, or some sort of weapon.

**73.3%**

His is by far the largest, the second being a lowly TEN percent! Each person seemingly had their own 'serial killer rating' from zero to one hundred, most barely even cresting over a two, so for someone to nearly have SEVENTY-FIVE... it puts just how totally bonkers this man is into perspective...

'I have identified the danger to myself, but... who would be able to stop him?!'

My vision changes once more and I look around again, only to completely stop once I spy another man sitting nearby, he wears a simple black yukata and strangely has black hair, but blond bangs... did he like, dye it or something?

I quickly blink away my confusion and glance to the person next to him, beside him is a small girl, seemingly around my age, she has long bold hair that has been tied into two messy and frizzy pigtails and she wears a black coat with a skirt and long pants to keep out the cold.

The numbers are what really astound me...

For the girl...

**74.3%**

And for the father...

**100%**

The girl is TWO TIMES almost everyone else here, and her father (I am guessing here) is the first one hundred percent I have EVER seen in ANYTHING.

I quickly walk over to them and pull on the sleeve of the older man's Yukata. "Hey mister?"

"Hn? What do you want, kid?"

I turn around and point at the guy who is slowly forming an aura of malice and destruction.

"That man scares me... I can feel his eyes move around the park and whenever they go over me, it makes me feel cold... I think he is going to try and h-hurt someone."

"Is that so?" He hums, his redish-violet eyes straying to the man in particular. "Hn, yeah, I can see the problem... Milly, stay here with him."

He gets up and begins to take a step forward.

The little girl, 'Milly' pouts. "But why do I have to stay with the hu- him! Why do I have to stay with him!"

The man continues walking, as if he didn't even hear her... but he probably just ignored her.

He then sits beside the soon to be murder and slings his arm around his shoulder with a cocky grin.

'Wh-'

I slowly blink and turn to the girl who he left behind. "So, your name is Milly, yeah?"

"What's it to you?" She scoffs.

"I dunno." I shrug. "I am just wondering why your... parent?"

"Father."

"Parent, is ok with walking up to someone who looks killer-ey?" I continue.

"That's because he is better than him... now leave me alone." She grumbles.

"But why?" I ask

"Because I don't have time for someone like _you_!" Milly scoffs.

"That's mean." I pout.

"Uh, yeah! I meant it to be!"

"Why are you being so mean?" I frown.

"Maybe because you are making me!" She exclaims.

"…"

"Why can't we just be friends?" I ask.

"It doesn't work like that." She scoffs, brushing a strand of hair from her face.

"Why not?"

She opens her mouth to respond but briefly pauses with a finger raised... then she closes her mouth and looks down slightly, as if thinking of a reason.

"Because I said so!" She finally growls.

"But whyyyy?" I ask.

"I don't want someone like you as a friend." She deadpans.

"Now, now, Milly, that's a bit... harsh hn?" I look behind me to see her father is back from his escapades with a psychopath... surprisingly looking completely unharmed... well, I say surprisingly, but apparently one hundred percent actually means something... speaking of psychopaths however... he's gone... like completely... no trace left of psychoman.

"No, it isn't!" She pouts.

"It kind of is." The man sighs.

"Why?" The girl sitting on the bench asks.

"Well, you can't just refuse to be someone's friend just based on gender or race, that's just not right, I have tons of friends of other races." He sighs.

'Are they not... Japanese?'

Milly just pouts slightly. "Fine... ill play for a couple minutes."

* * *

'hn... I wonder whatever happened to her...?'

Basically, we played tag n stuff until it was dark... that's right! I made the snot nosed brat laugh and have fun! I am a god! We kept meeting like that for maybe... a month or so? Then her and her father sort of just disappeared without a trace... her dad was pretty cool though considering he sent that fucking psycho to the shadow realm or something... wait... didn't I take a stab for her that one time? No, it couldn't be... but maybe? No... I don't think it was... actually... meh i dont fucking know, it could have been when some little shit tried to stab me in my sleep.'

I trace my fingers over a thin scar on my shoulder.

"You are zoning out again, Lucas~"

I blink dead ahead towards a pale, black haired boy, the same age as me, he has smooth wind-swept hair that hangs over one of his eyes ever so slightly.

"Oh, well maybe I am just thinking of the days when I didn't have to deal with your bullshit, Zen." I scoff.

He snorts and takes a large bite of his bowl of rice via his chopsticks. "So, what are we going to do today?"

"Well, first, we are going to grab Wes... then probably go get into some mischief... maybe mug some muggers, then maybe use our spoils of war to eat out at subway or something? Maybe get a pizza or some burgers?" I shrug.

"Hn." He hums. "Sounds good I suppose."

This is Zengjya Shaoye, one of my two best friends, he is nearing his seventeenth birthday so I mean... I should probably get him something?

We live in a fairly shitty town, gangs run rampant, and most of the police are actually corrupt and take... let's call it 'offerings'... and here at the orphanage, it is just sort of an elaborate money laundering scheme, we are forced to take care of ourselves while the matrons use the government's money on themselves... frankly as long as we aren't LITERALLY killing each other, they really don't care WHAT we do... it's why so many of us have formed gangs.

"Where _is_ Wes, anyway?" Zengjya asks.

A body crashes into our table, knocking my bowl of cereal into my face and what remains of Zen's rice into his lap.

"…"

We look down to see a small boy, nearly fifteen and the definition of 'Shota', he has short blond hair and his eyes clenched shut. "Ngh-"

I take a deep breath with my eyes closed and slowly breathe out. "Hello, Wes, how are you this morning?"

"T-they beat me up for getting the last bit of captain crunch." The blond winces out, slowly opening his eyes to show the world his murky-whiteish-silvery pupils.

"Hn." I hum as I slowly stand, trying to wipe any milk and clinging, off brand 'Wheat-Hoops' off my shirt, Zen mimicking my actions as he wipes rice off his pants.

We glance to the side to see a group of four laughing it up, one of them with a bowl of captain crunch in his hands.

"Hey, Lu." Zen scowls as he glances over to me. "What's the probability that we kick the smirk off those guy's faces?"

"Hm... Without taking off the weights?" I hum "About ninety ni-..."

I pause for a moment before smirking, the one-hundredths rapidly ticking up, till it sets at a pretty three-digit whole number. "Correction... _one hundred percent_."

That's right! As I got older, the control over my 'special ability' has increased! Now I can actually alter it somewhat and now have dubbed it 'Probability Control.'

"I like those odds." Zen hums before matching my devious smirk with a small smile.

We quietly walk over to them, my hands in my pants pockets and Zen letting his arms hang loosely to his sides.

The group finally notices us as we stop beside the table.

"What the hell do you want, Lucas?" One of the boys growl.

"Oh, nothing much... just wanted to know-" I abruptly rip one of my arms from my pockets, grab the back of one of the boy's heads and slam it twice on the table, then forcefully pull him off his chair and drop him onto the floor.

"CRAIG-"

A second boy is silenced as Zen pinches the muscle between his shoulder and neck and causes him to seize up slightly, allowing him to be kneed out of the chair and onto the floor.

The boy across the table eating cereal immediately hops up, reaching into his hoodie pocket, revealing a switchblade which he points in our general direction, his friend quickly grabbing a... slingshot? Like, a metal one, not one made from a rubber band and a Y shaped stick.

Actually, it is a combination of a sling shot and brass knuckles, spray painted black.

'Want.'

He quickly puts a metal ball into the pouch and pulls it back before releasing it, sending the ball bearing soaring towards my face, but I quickly lean out of the way and place my hands under the edge of the table, Zen smirking and mimicking my action.

We flip the table onto them both, knocking the knife from Jake 'The Snake's hand... fucking dumbass name, really, and... I don't actually know the name of guy two... but he keeps his weapon cause, you know, brass knuckles, but it doesn't stop both from being pinned under a large rectangle of plywood with stubby legs.

I step onto the table and walk over it and stop beside slingshot guy's head, then reach under the table and rip his slingshot from his hands, Zen walking around to pick up Jake's switchblade.

We look back to see Wes finally picking himself up off the table, trying feebly to brush off any food.

I walk back over the table, making sure to step on Craig, 'The Crank's chest as I hop off, making him wheeze with a miniscule trail of blood flowing down his forehead, while pinch guy is twitching on the floor letting out groans of pain from the forced cramp.

I sigh and shake my head. 'fucking idiots.'

We walk up to our blind, shota, friend.

"That was disappointing." Zen sighs as he runs a hand through his hair. "I think Craig might have a concussion now."

"They've had worse." I scoff before looking to Wes. "Ready to go?"

"Sure... let's just skip breakfast." He sighs.

"Alright." I shrug as I begin to walk to the door.

"I WAS BEING SARCASTIC!"

"To bad! We're going now!" I grin over my shoulder.

Zengjya matches my pace, strutting beside me as Wes lets out a sigh and quickly follows behind, hopping over a downed chair and carefully maneuvering around a broken bowl.

* * *

Oh my god... the hags actually did something good for once! (Probably because I bribed them) and Wes, Zen, and I managed to get transported to a DECENT TOWN before the school year started again... once there, we used Zen's new age, (he's seventeen now) to get a single apartment closer to our new school that's payed for by the government! Plus we even get like twenty thousand yen a month to buy groceries and order takeout which is more than enough for us! Talk about luckyyyy! Like I mean, _what are the chances of that_?

Kuoh town... has a nice ring to it hm?

Next week, Zengjya, Wes, and I are going to the illustrious 'Kuoh High' an all-girls school that has only recently turned co-ed, meaning that currently the boy acceptance rate is slightly higher than the girl's, but they likely have more people trying to apply... damn perverts... like, I can understand the attraction of a woman's figure, but jeez, keep it in your damn pants.

I pause. 'Maybe I can ACTUALLY get a girlfriend here?! One that isn't a massive slut or addicted to some sort of drug of course.'

Yeah... all the women back home were sort of 'tainted' by something so I really never got into dating.

"Hey, Wes, Zen, want to go check out the school? There are probably some people there."

"Sure, I'm game." Zen shrugs before slowly looking over to Wes who is sitting in the kitchen. "What about you, Wes?"

"Sure, Sure." He yawns. "Let me just finish my breakfast."

* * *

"Y'know... after the week or so that we have been here, I enjoy not having to sleep with a knife under my pillow, being able to walk around without worry of being mugged, and I like that I can actually spot corners without hookers on them, but... this town is... sort of boring, yeah?"

"Oh my god... you actually put it into words." Zen mumbles.

"I'm having a good time." Wes sighs.

"But you never really enjoyed fighting." I hum with a pep in my step. "Any thugs we could probably find in this town would probably make Jake and Craig laugh at their ineptitude..."

I glance over my shoulder, staring about thirty feet back to five dudes slowly herding two girls our age into an alleyway. "I mean, Really, five guys for two girls?"

"Disgraceful to the thug lifestyle." My black haired friend sarcastically scoffs, brushing a hand through his hair.

"Hey, Zen want to see something cool?" I ask as I crouch down and pick up a small pebble.

"Go for it." He replies.

I turn my body around and take a step forwards, bringing my arm up behind me with rock held safely in palm, then I twist my body and send the pebble flying at high speeds towards the group where it hits one guy in the back of the head, but just barely, allowing it to keep most of its momentum with only a slight change in direction as it skims around, hitting the guy across from him in the forehead where it bounces off and hits a third guy in the side of the nose.

Then, as if in a chain reaction, guy 1 grabs the back of his head with his hands, guy 2 stumbles backwards, off balanced and bringing a hand up to shield his face which now has a bit of blood running down it, the attack probably stung like a bitch as well so he most likely has tears in his eyes, and guy 3 clutching his bleeding nose which definitely stung like a bitch, so he definitely has tears clouding his eyes.

"Damn... a three for one."

Wes just looks in their general direction and snorts. "Sounds like it hurt... back of the head, forehead, and nose, right?"

"You are getting surprisingly good at that, Wes." I hum.

"It's a work in process." He mumbles.

"I think the word is 'Progress'." I note.

"Mnn." He growls.

At this point the group have now turned towards us, glaring daggers while the girls quickly get out of the way as their attention is drawn elsewhere.

"Yeah! That was me! What are you going to fucking do about it, chumps?!" I shout.

They slowly and menacingly make their way over to us, shooting us glares that promise pain.

"Bitch, your petty little 'show of dominance' doesn't mean DICK! We come straight from Uratama! We each lived there for several years so if you want to try your shit, let's fucking go then eh?!" I grin, pointing a thumb towards my chest in dramatic fashion.

They all abruptly freeze mid-step, then look to my two compatriots, the taller of which closes his eyes and waves with a sickeningly sweet smile, while the shorter just looks... indifferent.

Seemingly my words finally process and one by one, the five teens- each older than even Zen- pale, then they, as a group, turn around and flee, turning down that alleyway that they were nearby earlier and disappearing into the night... except it is day... but 'disappearing into the day' doesn't really work, now does it?

"Disappointing." Zen sighs.

"What a bunch of pussies." I agree, in an equally downtrodden tone. "I mean really, try to molest two girls, but when a couple badasses appear, just run for the hills..."

I huff once and turn around. "Let's go check out that school then, yeah?"

"Mn." Wes grunts.

* * *

"So... this is Kuoh academy?" I ask. "It's... pretty big."

"Describe it." Wes deadpans.

"It's like two-to-three times the size of our old school, much more polished, and it is basically sparkling." Zen interjects.

"Sparkling?" Our blind compadre asks.

"Damnit Wes, we have been over that... basically that prickly feeling you get when your limb falls asleep but condensed to less than the size of your fingernail and stuck on a wall somewhere where you can't actually feel it." I grunt.

"Mn." Wes scoffs.

We wait for maybe thirty seconds.

"So... do we just, walk in?" Zen eventually asks.

"Yeah, sounds good, or you know, somebody might show up-"

"Excuse me." A girl with short hair, purple eyes, and glasses mutters as she quickly steps up to us, she is clothed in the Kuoh Academy girl's uniform and... they really need to get longer skirts... "What business do you have with the school."

"Called it." I hum to myself.

"Oh, we are going to be going here next week and we wanted to look around... maybe see where all the classrooms are." Zen interjects.

"Mn."

"Yes, Yes, Wes, I know... poor wording." Zengjya sighs

"Pfft-" I snort.

I look past the girl standing in front of us to see an older teen, maybe eighteen to nineteen cleaning the fountain with TWO mops at the same time, one in each hand. "CLEAN! MUST BE CLEAN!"

"…"

"What-"

"That is our Janitor, Kohaku." The girl- or should I say woman at this point- in front of us groans. "He is a bit of a... neat freak shall we say."

"Hn." I hum. "Then who the heck are you?"

"I am Sona Shitori, President of the student council." She announces. "Sadly, we won't be able to give you a tour today as we are in the process of cleaning the entire school."

"Shame." I hum.

"Yeah." Zen agrees.

"Mn." Mumbles... you know exactly who it is at this point.

"Well, we'll be off then." I state, waving a single hand as I abruptly turn and walk away, Wes and Zen following shortly behind, the prior at least saying 'bye' to the girl as he turns to walk away.

* * *

**Pov: ?**

Two of those boys... they have sacred gears... I can feel it... they are locked, but I can still feel them...

I look towards the last of the group of three, a white haired teen who has a cocky and jokey personality, as if he doesn't take anything seriously... then he gets hit in the face by a bat as he walks by an alleyway... or he would have if he hadn't leaned back at the last second and allowed it to soar just over his nose, but he seemingly is off balance now- so he simply corrects his lean by doing a backflip, using his knee to knock the bat out of the hand of whoever attacked him, the black haired boy catching easily before it hits their third member and seemingly examines it as the first boy turns down the alleyway and unleashes a punch that causes me to flinch as I can hear the clack of someone's jaw snapping shut, even from all the way back here...

"Get fucked idiot!" The snow-haired boy laughs.

'what- what the hell?!'

On a much closer examination of his aura, it seems that he might actually have a sacred gear as well, but it is faint... probably just a weak one like 'Midnight Quill' a sacred gear that allows the user to copy text, and even write it from afar, useful for exorcists, mages, and homework, but not much else... but his reaction speed is definitely impressive...

"hmmm."

Maybe they can help Rias with her issue...

* * *

**Welp, here is my solution to Bahamut is Unbreakable and A Mage's Quest In This Wild, Wild Magical World... I decided to combine both with Ryu's personality but for Lucas, and we have Mittelt, then I simply added a couple new colorful characters, we have Lucas: The Brash, Joseph Joestar... Zen, the calm martial artist but enjoys fighting, one... Wes, the classic shota trope but 'blind' now... and Kohaku... which I won't be getting into just yet...**

**how the hell will just a regular human be able to deal with threats like Riser Phenix, Kokabiel, and eventually even gods?! **

**you will just have to wait and see...**

**Always, see you all the next time I post this~**


	2. Chapter 2

**I do not own Dxd, Only the oc and any 'new' sacred gear I have created.**

"Speech"

'Thought'

**"Powerful Entities Talking"** (Such as dragons and angry gods who are shouting)

**[Boost]: Ddraig**

**{Divide} Albion**

* * *

'UGH- why did I even do this?! This is so fucking BOOOORING! People aren't being blackmailed or stabbed or punched... this is literal hell.'

I glance across the room to Zen who is writing down notes.

"Lucas, what would the answer be?"

"Thirty-six over twenty-seven, or one and one-third." I state without missing a beat as I stare up at the ceiling.

"Correct." The teacher hums, probably a little disappointed that she didn't get to make an example out of me.

I allow my gaze to slowly pass over the three perverts of Kuoh... even on the first day, I know that these three are utterly despicable and I think I hate them.

I gaze down at my outfit, none of that necktie bullshit and just a regular white undershirt instead of the normal stiped monkey suit that the said we 'should' wear, I also of course have the outer black vest untucked.

I close my eyes. "Tch-"

'I wonder how Wes is doing...'

* * *

**Elsewhere**

"Hey, W-Wes, you can sit by me... y'know... if you want, that is."

"Whaaat?! No! Sit by me!"

"Don't listen to those two! Sit by me!"

"HE IS SO ADORABLE!"

'w-what the heck is going on?!'

* * *

'meh, he probably hates it as much as I do.'

With that simple thought, the day moved on, the perverted trio got beat up, this white haired loli girl kept staring at me, I got glares at lunch from basically all of the female populous for daring to speak to 'the blind shota' even though I am one of his best friends, Zen, not so much.

I actually think they are starting to call him 'the second prince of Kuoh' because of his nice personality... why am I the only one who everyone seems to hate?

* * *

Day two isn't much better, I got tired of all the glares so I simply retreated to the school's roof to eat my lunch.

Surprisingly someone else is there... it's the school's janitor.

"Oh. Someone else is here." I mumble as I simply walk to the other side of the roof and sit down with my back against the fence that surrounds the edge. "Why are you here?"

"It's better than the janitor's closet." He answers.

"…"

"You do know they have a teacher's lounge, right?"

"Hn. They kicked me out when I judged them for their eating habits." He grunts as he looks over to me, his spikey black hair briefly blowing in a small breeze, his coal-colored eyes glinting slightly. "I mean really, what sort of psychopath eats sliced pickles on rice?!"

"I see..." I slowly blink.

"So, what are you doing up here, kid?" He asks.

"Well, I got tired of the female populous glaring at me for 'daring to corrupt the new prince and the blind shota' even though I was their best friends before even coming to this damned town... I don't even get why they fucking hate me really... maybe it is the untucked shirt and refusal to button my shirt that makes me look like a thug, but no way in hell am I going to make myself uncomfortable just to impress a bunch of bitches who judge me on my appearance." I scoff. "And what do you mean 'kid'?! I am only like a year younger than you! And speaking of that as well, why the hell do you have a job here when you should be in college or something like that?!"

"I have my own reasons for getting a job this early." He states, a small frown passing over his face.

"Fair nuff." I shrug. "I can't really judge I suppose."

His open water bottle slips off the top of a fencepost and falls towards the floor, but his hand shoots out and catches it while it was upside down, then, as he swings the bottle downwards and flips it, he somehow catches every single drop of water.

Mental note number five hundred and thirty-one... our janitor is some sort of kung fu master or has complete control over water... neither are really something you should piss off...

"…"

'I saw nothing.'

I boredly look in another direction as his gaze slowly falls to me to see if I had actually seen that, then I grab my backpack and lunch of... just a fucking apple.

"Mn. Being poor sucks." I deadpan at the apple.

* * *

"So, Lu, you have been sort of disappearing a lot at school... where have you been going?" Zen asks, the roar of a car passing under the overpass nearly drowning out his words.

It has been about two weeks since the school year has started and I guess they finally noticed that I disappear to roof to have a chat with probably god janitor... he's a fuckin bro though... I really can't believe that my first 'friend' at this new town was a fucking janitor... but eh we sort of like the same things, and he is pretty cool.

"What do you mean?" I ask. "I have always been around. Have you guys been ignoring me?!"

Zen snorts. "The real answer, please."

"Your fangirls are massive bitches and I got sick of their glares so I had lunch elsewhere." I scoff.

I allow my gaze to pass over where a short, white haired loli is hiding, as she has been stalking us for the past twenty or so minutes from school.

"U-uh hey! E-excuse me!"

Zen and I slowly blink at each other, then look backwards as a girl in a school uniform quickly rushes up to us, she has long black hair and deep purple eyes, she also appears to be from a different school as she isn't wearing Kuoh's uniform.

She stops in front of Zengjya. "H-hey, I- uh, have seen you guys come through here for a while now, and I-I guess today is the day that I finally built up the courage to ask, but a-are you seeing anyone?"

She appears to just be ignoring Wes and I.

Zen casts a quick glance over to the two of us. "No, I am not."

"That's wonderful!" The girl beams. "U-uh well, it's not that I am happy you are single- uh- well- I sort of am- but- uh... I just wanted to know..."

"Would you be my boyfriend?"

Zen begins to open his mouth.

"Hold it." I deadpan.

The girl's gaze shifts over to me, and for the briefest moment, her eyes shift, shooting me a glare that causes the hairs on the back of my neck to raise, but she instantly blinks it off and replaces it with a look of 'curiosity' or, as I suspect, fake interest.

I scratch the back of my head and narrow my eyes slightly as the world becomes eerily quiet, no passing cars, no nearby students walking home, not even any animals squawking or squeaking...

_"Your smile is fake."_

The world becomes eerily cold at my statement as she gives the slightest flinch that would have gone unnoticed by an untrained eye.

"Your next line is... 'W-What are you talking about?' To you."

"W-What are you talking about?" As she finishes the last word she visibly recoils and takes a step back, her eyes shifting to a much more dangerous glint, her arms brought up slightly as she drops her book bag and seemingly is prepared for an attack.

I run a hand through my hair as Wes and Zen seemingly get on guard as well. "Hn, so my hunch was right... I would have understood if you were a girl from our school and tried to ask Zen out, but something didn't sit right with me as this girl from another school seemingly seeked out my best friend to ask him to be her girlfriend... you don't even know his name, do you?"

"and besides. The outfit you wear is from Rising-Sun Highschool, and that is on the complete other side of Kuoh... so, I will ask you... what are you trying to pull here, lady."

Her face shifts to a small smile, but it is probably only to try and instill dread as her eyes become dangerous and vile, much like a predator gazing at its prey before going in for the kill. "Hn... the others were wrong to write you off as no threat... you are too smart for your own good, _boy_."

Her school uniform literally explodes off her as she grows slightly in height and... assets... which are barely being contained by a skimpy black leather two-piece bathing-suit thing, she wears long thigh-high leather boots and her lower parts are barely covered by a piece of leather... once again bathing suit, but by far the most striking thing are the two large black raven wings that slowly sprout from her back.

The sky darkens to a deep purple casting the world into an eerie dark shadow even though it is day.

"W-What the hell?!" Zen whispers as he takes a step back, while Wes is shivering in terror.

I blankly blink at her, causing her to be briefly confused by my lack of reaction.

"You... don't fear me?" She slowly asks.

"Why should I?" I ask slipping my hands into my pants pockets. "You're just a bitch with wings."

"And besides, if you try to attack any of us at this moment... _you are going to regret it_."

She takes a step back in caution with wide eyes before narrowing them and seemingly getting more resolute. "And why would I regret it? You are just a _filthy _human."

"Am I?" I smirk. "Are you willing to gamble your life on that little assumption?"

"Because I can promise you... if you continue on the path you are on at this very moment... you are going to _die_... and not even god will be able to save you."

She takes another step back and I take a step forwards. "You have ten seconds to get out of my sight or the police are going to be cleaning up your internal organs off the side of that building back there for at least a week."

She summons a spear made of pink light in one hand and points it at me.

"Ten, Nine, Eight, Seven..."

She grips it in two hands and points it at me as she slowly creeps back.

"Six, Five, Four, Three, Two..."

"One, Ze-"

She flaps her wings, and quickly flies in the opposite direction with a look of terror on her face, the dark sky abruptly turning to the light blue it used to be.

"L-Lu... what the hell... was that?" Wes whimpers.

I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding and fall back onto my ass and stare in the direction that winged bitch had disappeared into. "Holy shit that actually fucking worked..."

"Wh-" Zen blinks. "Did you... bluff the shit out of her?"

"Pulled the classic Joseph Joestar art of bluffing and hoping for the best." I groan. "Now I am emotionally and mentally drained... plus the dread of knowing how close all three of us came to 'dying' is astounding..."

"She was really that strong?" Zen asks slowly, now a bit calmer now that immanent death wasn't literally staring him in the face.

"Hn... we might have been able to beat her if we all attacked at once..." I hum. "But we would need three sticks of dynamite, a packet of chewing gum, a frying pan, and a taser... preferably the ranged kind, but a contact taser would work as well... plus we would have had to sacrifice Wes to do it."

"Oi."

Zen snorts at my attempt to lighten the mood, eyes briefly pausing on the garbage can where a certain loli was watching the entire confrontation.

"Now, I am going to go home, lock the doors and windows, crawl into bed, try to combust my homework with my mind, and finally try to forget today even happened." I yawn. "And... just in case she is doing a tactical retreat to get some reinforcements..."

I abruptly stand and quickly sprint in the direction of our home. "WE MAKE OUR OWN SLIGHTLY FASTER TACTICAL RETREAT!"

Zen blinks at me while Wes blankly stares in my direction, then they both quickly dash after me.

* * *

"Rias."

"Hm? Yes Koneko?" A red-haired girl with large assets barely contained by her school uniform asks as she looks over a bit of paperwork.

"A fallen met the three of them and tried to kill them." A white haired loli states in a near emotionless deadpan.

"Wh-" Rias immediately stands up. "WHAT?! A-Are they okay?!"

"Yeah."

"T-They beat the fallen angel?!" The red haired beauty shrieks

"No."

"Wh- what?! Then how are they still alive?!" Rias slowly asks.

"Rolled a twenty on a charisma check."

"…"

"Koneko, I think you need to tell me just what exactly happened after they left school..."

"Mn."

***One story of Lucas' bullshit later***

"Oh my Maou he is literally Joseph Joestar..." The red-haired girl slowly mutters as she quickly opens her chess box containing her evil pieces. "I-I must have him!"

She pauses. "Wait... how many pieces would he even be worth? Two? Four? Satan forbid, EIGHT?!"

She looks up to the small white haired 'Koneko' and asks. "What do you think, Koneko..."

"He doesn't seem that strong... just lucky." She states in her normal emotionless tone.

"Of course, you wouldn't understand, Koneko." Rias sighs. "You don't really watch anime at all, do you?"

"Mn."

The busty redhead just lets out a simple sigh and goes back to looking over her evil pieces. "A rook? Hn... maybe my other bishop or knight?"

The white-haired girl slowly blinks, realizing that she has been forgotten about, then simply shrugs indifferently and walks out of the room.

* * *

"So, Lu, real talk now that we aren't being stalked... could we have beaten her?" Zengjya slowly asks

"Pfft- oh yeah, one little pinch from you would cripple her for a couple seconds, then we would just wail on her... actually, I could probably even take TWO of her on at the same time with my bullshit, which I would like to say I only used to get that 'Your next line is' junk to happen and it was surprisingly difficult... but toootally worth it."

"Are you... trying to become Joseph Joestar?"

"Damn... you figured it out too soon..." I sigh. "I even had this plan for the next time we meet her or her kind where I just pull out a fucking Tommy gun and blast them."

"And where exactly were you going to get a Tommy gun?"

"…" I am silent for a couple moments at Zen's statement "You know that one warehouse we raided and beat the shit out of that gang of like thirty people?"

"oooh yeah, they did store a load of weapons there... but did you seriously take one all this way? Where do you even keep it?"

"That would be telling." I scoff.

"You going to do the clacker thing?" Wes asks.

"Not yet." I mumble.

"I like that Scene..." He smiles. "From the way you describe it, it totally seems like something you would be able to pull off."

"Yeah, yeah... ill do it eventually." I sigh. "I just need to find where exactly I can purchase two metal balls on a ring-string..."

* * *

I let out a mental sigh as I boredly prop up my head, staring dead ahead at the front of the classroom, it is the end of the day and we are really just waiting on Wes to make his way over here so we can go home.

"Hey." I flinch as somebody is suddenly beside me, a young girl with snow white hair and a small black cat hairpin on the side of her short hair, at her blatant deadpan, I almost thought she was Wes for a moment.

"What do you want?" I grunt.

"Rias wants to see you."

"Hn." I hum as I get up, grabbing my bookbag and walking over to an open window and looking out of it. "Before we go, small girl, I want you to tell me what you see out there..."

"…" the white-haired girl is silent for a moment then walks over to the window and stands beside me.

"A fountain." Comes her monotone reply after a second of gazing into the outdoors.

"Want to know what I see?" I ask.

"Hn?"

"An escape route." I hum. "HUP-"

I leap out of the open window and land on the ground three entire stories below, preforming a perfect combat roll to bleed off downward momentum and turn it into forwards momentum, then I am suddenly on my feet as I stand up, mid-roll without pause, and take off in a sprint.

"I GET ENOUGH SHIT FOR HANGING OUT WITH MY FRIENDS! YOU ARE OUT OF YOUR MIND IF YOU THINK I AM GOING TO MEET ONE OF THE TWO GREAT LADIES OF KUOH!" I shout over my shoulder.

I widen my eyes as she leaps out of the window as well and pulls off a flawless three-point landing.

"HOLYFUCK-"

I speed up my sprint as she gets up and quickly chases after me.

'alright... this isn't fucking right! What sort of monstrosity is she?! O-oh my god is she the strong loli trope?!'

I continue my quick pace as she is quickly closing the gap between us, then I abruptly smirk as I get a plan.

I turn away from the front entrance and run directly for the fence surrounding the entire school, then jump once, place my foot on the trunk of a nearby tree, then leap off that up to a thick low-hanging branch that sways ominously under my weight, then I leap off that and just barely get over the top of the spiked fence, landing safely on the other side of the wall where I then turn and sprint in the opposite direction of the entrance which is about thirty feet to the left of where I landed.

"Zoom zoom zoom!"

* * *

I abruptly stop running and place my hands on my knees, letting out a few labored breaths. "This should- ***Huff*** be far enough away- ***Huff*** Right?"

I finally get my breathing situation figured out.

'mental note: sprinting as fast as you can for like ten minutes... not good on the lungs.'

I slowly blink as distinct sounds of the city reaches my ears... well, the distinct lack of it that is... the sky is purple, everything is dark, there is a pink light spear hurtling in my direction- wait what?!'

I hop back and allow the spiked shaft of light to sink into the asphalt in front of me, whatever threw that made it so the spear easily sunk one and a half feet into the road, so I mean, whatever tossed that must be pretty damn stron- oh, it's her.

"Well well well, if it isn't-" I pause as I gaze up to the black winged woman floating a good ten feet off the ground. "You know... I don't think I actually got your name."

I glance to the left to see two more fallen, a woman with long blue hair, easily reaching to her knees, wearing a purple leather dress thing which barely contains her chest, and it has holes cut out of the sides in the thigh area, it also barely goes lower than said thigh area... so I mean...

The other one is just some random dude bro with a fedora and a trench coat, he is sort of tanned with short black hair, but otherwise he looks sort of underwhelming.

'shit.'

I look back to the original black-haired woman- who I now realize is the one with the least decency out of all of them crazily enough- and gaze up towards her smug smile. "You were bluffing yesterday, _weren't you?_"

Her only answer is a slightly strained smile.

* * *

**Henlo all of my degenerate peoples, it is i, totally not a drug dealer guy, here to give you your weekly dose of heroin- i mean CRACK COCAINE! anyways, ill see you all later.**


	3. Chapter 3

**I do not own Dxd, Only the oc and any 'new' sacred gear I have created.**

"Speech"

'Thought'

**"Powerful Entities Talking"** (Such as dragons and angry gods who are shouting)

**[Boost]: Ddraig**

**{Divide} Albion**

* * *

**Last Time... on Dxd: A bizzare adventure, Koneko witnessed Lucas' amazing bluffing prowess and chased him from school, where then the Lucky Lucas found himself in a bit of a pickle...**

"You were bluffing yesterday, _weren't you?_"

**THIS TIME ON DRAGON BALL Z-**

A bit of sweat runs down my neck.

'probability that I somehow defeat all three of them?'

**56.43%**

'let's just bump that up a little bit.'

I increase the number up to a nice even one hundred, but I am really starting to feel the drain of my power...

Then all the dread of fighting them is washing off by that simple number. 'ah, so I had enough to guarantee my victory...'

"Oh yeah, I was totally bluffing." I shrug with a small smile gracing my features. "Why don't you just fly on down here and I'll let you impale me."

"Wait- seriously?" She asks.

I raise an eyebrow at her, then look to her 'friends' who are also looking at her in a confused manner.

"Hwat?" I ask.

Boy fallen slowly blinks. "Raynare?"

"What do you want, Dohnaseek?" She growls. "Can't you see that he is going to let me kill him for my superior tactics and Intelligence."

""I... can't tell if you are being sarcastic right now and it scares me."" The blue haired fallen and I deadpan at the exact same time.

We briefly look at each other then back to 'Raynare'.

"So uh, Blue haired angel thing, just a quick little question but, do all of your race dress like massive sluts or is it just... her?"

I leap back as a pink lightspear crashes into the ground where I was moments before.

"_SLUT?!_" 'Raynare' shrieks. "HOW DARE YOU?!"

"BITCH, A TWO-PIECE BIKINI HAS MORE SURFACE AREA THAN WHAT YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW! HOW COULD I _NOT_ CALL YOU A SLUT?!" I shout.

"It's just her." Blue haired fallen answers.

I close my eyes, sharply inhale and raise my hands slightly. "Calm down, Lu, you must respect all wamen."

I open my eyes again to see that none of them have really moved. "Alright, ill give you one chance to skedaddle before I use my power of bullshit voodoo magic to somehow beat all of you, I don't really know HOW I will beat you, but all of your fates have been sealed, as foretold in the ancient texts of daio!"

"…" the black haired fallen opens his mouth.

"Yes, I am trying to buy time to rest after I spent the past ten minutes sprinting away at max speed from a loli that could leap out of a three-story building and somehow preform a perfect three point landing... thank you for understanding."

"I was just going to guess that you are legitimately insane." He finishes.

"Oh... well, I mean, I am technically talking to three angels- is that right? You aren't yokai, right? Maybe a tengu? Sephiroth's thrice removed family members that nobody likes to talk about during family gatherings?"

"You enjoy hearing your own voice, don't you?" The male angel scoffs. "And we are fallen angels, it insults me for you to think we are anything like normal angels."

"Cool." I deadpan. "Like, can we just fight now? I am getting kind of bored of insulting you."

"HOW DARE YOU!" Raynare shrieks as she dives forwards, keen on clearing the thirty or so feet between us and trying to impale me through the stomach.

***Crack***

The angel freezes and slowly looks up. "Hn?"

***BOOM***

A billboard falls off the building beside us, pinning her under it.

I hear her muffled scream of "God damnit!"

"Talk about anti-climactic." I mumble. "Any more billboards want to fall and take out these fucking idiots?"

***Creaaak-***

"Go oooon?"

***Cree-ck***

"She did, did she? and then what?"

***Creeeack***

"Hn, didn't expect that actually... anyway, have fun on your date, Jerry."

The billboard above the two of them stops squeaking and let me just say, they look fucking ***SPOOKED***

"If I could have one day to myself without white haired lunatics ruining it..." The blue haired fallen slowly mutters as she RAPIDLY flies away from any billboards that might desire the taste of flesh. "Damn Freed... Damn this kid..."

"Pfft-" I fail to hold in my laugh. "PFAAHAHAHAHHA! You should see the look on your fucking faces! You actually think I did that?! You people are fucking stupid!"

I abruptly turn around and sprint down an alleyway. "LATER BITCHES!"

I crouch behind a garbage can and wait for the two fallen to rush into the alleyway after me, allowing the first to pass my hiding spot, but then I leap out at the second and land a brutal punch on his jaw that sends him flying into the nearby wall, then I abruptly sprint out of the alleyway back the way I came as it is CONSUMED IN FIRE, the hair spray I taped a firecracker to igniting, exploding the box of hairspray just to the left of where I was sitting.

Then I turn and run away as a wave of water pours from the alleyway, which wasn't my doing actually... so they probably used magic to extinguish the fires... and that means...

Run. faster.

'Wait... they can fly... so I won't be able to outrun them...'

I slide to a halt and quickly spin around, getting in a fighting stance with both of my fists raised.

I blink as the slightly soggy Blue haired fallen explodes from the alleyway and quickly turns towards me, launching a spear with a roar of anger.

"RAAAGH!"

I let out a low and slow breath as the spear comes closer, aimed for my chest and hold out one of my hands in front of me palm facing forwards. 'just like the movies... do it just like the movies...'

My hand lashes out, smacking the spear away with the side of my hand, causing the eyes of the woman to widen as she had followed closely behind it with a spear in each hand prepared to strike to the right or left if I dodged.

I bend forwards as she crosses her arms, nearly beheading me, then I bend back and land a brutal uppercut that sends her reeling, and as she tries to flap her wings to gain distance, I grab onto her ankle and slam her onto the floor, making her let out a small wheeze as she lands on her wings.

I stomp on her stomach as the other fallen, 'Dohnaseeks' I think it was, charges out of the alleyway and tosses a spear at me before he really realizes that I am quite literally curb stomping his ally.

Ohfuck.

I pray to the asspull gods as I lean to the side slightly, then reach out with my offhand and somehow catch the spear, then twirling it in my grasp I use its momentum to spin myself three hundred and sixty degrees and to get me into a throwing position, which I do so, hurling the spear back at Dohnaseek while all he can do is gawk... and allow his shoulder to be impaled by his own light spear.

Then leap off blue haired fallen as she tries to stab me, and duck under Raynare's slash as I had seen that she had gotten out from under the billboard during my little spin.

"Stop playing around you two! I am going to kill him before his abilities grow!" Raynare shouts. "Kokabiel said that his sacred gear is a powerful- but hidden- one, so we need to kill him before he unlocks it!"

"Oh, you think so?" I grunt as I slide to a halt in front of a building quickly reaching behind my back, casting a quick glance up to the sun.

I pull out a Tommy gun.

"Hwah?" Is Raynare's response.

***RATATATATATATATA-***

She quickly shields herself with her wings and tries to create a small barrier, but the gun eventually breaks through the magical defense, peppering her wings with lead and punching a couple holes in her shins which weren't as protected by her wings.

***Clic-clic-clic-click***

"Besides... how can you 'kill me before my abilities grow' if I have already unlocked my sacred gear?"

The drum magazine drops from my Tommy gun and clatters onto the floor, only to disappear like it wasn't even there as I take a step over it and off the sidewalk.

The crumpled lead bullets slowly drop from Raynare's wings, creating a light ringing sound as they hit the road as she falls to her knees. "T-Tch- DAMNIT!"

I gaze over the three fallen angels, Donnyboy clutching a bleeding shoulder, blue haired girl clutching her cheek and stomach, both of which are probably going to bruise, and finally Raynare who probably got it the worst as she has several bullet holes in her legs and I think her wings are starting to bleed slightly, but it is sort of hard to tell with the black color.

'the fact that the bullets didn't go through her wings is astounding... the feathers must be harder than iron...'

I prop the empty gun on my shoulders and smile cockily. "Is this all you have? Honestly, I am kind of disappointed."

"You three were going to kill me for having a weak sacred gear? Like, aren't there worse ones you can go after? Well, actually you probably couldn't handle it..." My gun disappears as well as I release it, allowing it to fall down my back. "after all, a simple human brought all of you to your knees with a regular gun, a can of hair spray, a firecracker, and a match."

"Pathetic really." A voice states.

"I know right?" I grin as I look to the right.

There is a blond girl standing there wearing a French maid outfit, her hair tied up into two messy pigtails, and on her back are four large... black feathered... wings...

oh...

Ooooooh...

"Mittelt?!" Raynare shrieks. "W-What are you doing here?!"

"Azazel sent me to stop you before you start another great war." The blond scoffs.

there were in fact four fallen angels...

Not three.

'chance I can beat her in a fight?'

**2.43%**

'WHAT?! H-how much stronger is she compared to the other three?!'

**Ten to Thirty times 74.3% **  
**More than Thirty-one times 21.2% **  
**Four to Nine times 4.3%**  
**Two to Three times 0.2%**

A bit of sweat runs down my neck as I shuffle slightly.

"So, like... you look sort of familiar... have we maybe... met before?" I ask as I slowly circle in a way that will allow me to run at any moment.

She narrows her eyes at me and puts a hand on her chin. "Hnnn."

I shuffle slightly closer to the opening of an alleyway.

"I suppose it doesn't matter." The lolita sighs, creating a pink light spear in hand. "all of you are coming with me, no questions asked."

I suddenly shiver as a memory forcibly pushes itself to the front of my mind.

_'Milly! Look out! Agh-!'_

_'Lu! GRAAH YOU BASTARD YOU HURT LU!'_

_***CRUNCH***_

_A small girl, maybe five to six clutches a bloodied arm, none of that blood actually her own, six large black angel wings on her back as she stands over a prone adult, a hole the size of a baseball punched through his chest._

"M-Milly?"

She freezes just as she is about to take a step towards me. "…"

"Lu?!" She hisses through her teeth.

"Wow! How have you been?" I ask. "It has been what, ten, eleven years?"

"Hows your fa-"

She is suddenly in front of me and covers my mouth with a hand... I couldn't even see her move...

"Shush." She hisses. "I know a human wouldn't get how fallen society is, but for a second generation fallen angel to get more than even a single pair of wings is extraordinarily rare, so they think I fell from heaven... don't reveal I have a father _or else... __**understand**__?_

"M-Mhm." I nod through her hand.

"Good!" She exclaims as she slowly walks over to the bloody form of Raynare.

"Oh wow... he really did a number on you, hm?"

The other two begin to stand-

"If you two even think of running, I am plucking your wings when I find you." Milly, or 'Mittelt' as her fallen Brothern call her, hums with an almost sadistic smile as she pokes Raynare's legs with a stick she has... for some reason.

With a single flap of their wings the two rocket off into the distance, the purple sky barrier shattering around us, causing Mittelt's smile to falter ever so slightly. "Why can't it ever be easy?"

She sighs and reaches out an open palm towards Raynare's forehead, fingers curled so her nails are nearly touching her palm.

Her hand blurs forwards and I flinch as a loud ***CRACK* **echoes from Raynare's head which snaps backwards, a bit of foam leaking from her mouth as she is THUROUGHLY knocked unconscious... or dead...

"You." She deadpans as she turns to me. "You are now temporarily drafted into the Grigori to stop another great war, you have shown above average skill by taking out these three at the same time, so I know you can- at the very least- hold your own against fallen with two wings... so congratulations."

"…"

"What?"

"Hn... you know nearly nothing about the supernatural, don't you?" She sighs.

"That is a fairly accurate statement, yes." I nod.

"Fine, fine, I'll give you the rundown after I teleport her back to the Grigori..." She mumbles as she clutches the brim of her nose with a hand. "But, its... good to see you, Lu... after this mess is fixed... we should catch up."

Ah, she probably isn't dead if she wants to bring her back to this 'Grigori'.

"Hn, yeah, we should I haven't seen you since _that day_." I sigh.

"You... remember that?" She whispers. "I thought he said that he was going to erase your memory- wait a second! How do you even remember me AT ALL?! He said he was going to erase ALL of your memories of me!"

"It didn't work that well, now did it?" I smile. "I forgot about you for maybe like... a month? Then I remembered most things, well, except for the stabbing thing which I remembered about... two minutes ago?"

"Tch- Piss." She scoffs creating an elaborate magic circle on the ground with a simple wave of her hand, Raynare at the center.

It glows brightly, then the unconscious girl in the middle completely disappears.

Mittelt slowly walks over to me, wings retracted. "I suppoooose we can catch up a little as we walk... considering you can't fly and all."

"Well, alright then." I shrug.

'Probability that we will be able to solve this without any issues?'

**85.3%**

'one hundred percent it is...'

"So, what have you been doing all this time, Lu?" Mittelt sighs as we begin walking in the general direction the two fallen fled.

"Surviving... but like... shouldn't you be going after those two?"

"There's no real point anymore..." She sighs. "They most likely teleported as soon as they got out of our sight."

"and, 'Surviving' what the hell do you mean by that?" She asks

"Well, Uratama is a hellish place with corrupt police, thousands of gangs, orphanages which don't really take care of their children and are just an elaborate money laundering scheme and in general just has drugs and crime everywhere." I shrug.

"W-What?!" She stutters. "I-It didn't seem like it when w-we were there?!"

"Well, you would be wrong... Every. Single. Day. that we played in that park, there was a chance to get stabbed, killed, kidnapped, or molested, but luckily, I managed to maneuver us away from it all... another stroke of good luck is that it was the 'good half' of Uratama, where the police sometimes did their jobs, and more of the nicer families lived, but still, we were in danger every single day." I state with a small frown. "Honestly I am glad that I managed to bullshit my way away from that hellscape."

"…"

"I, of course, lived in the bad half, I was an orphan, made a little gang with two of my friends and kicked total ass... hn... I wonder if they are out of school yet?" I hum. "Probably... annyway though, what about you? What is your traumatic childhood backstory."

"Well, this one time I punched a hole in a guy-"

"I was there." I deadpan.

"Start after that?" She asks.

"Sure." I shrug.

"Well, after that, my father trained me and kicked me out once I got around say... twelve? Hn... wow it has been four years since then... I joined the Grigori- which is basically a large group of fallen sort of like a 'company' you humans have- as a 'newly fallen, fallen angel' and placed fairly low down in the rankings, sort of like an internship, but seeing as that I 'have' four wings- because having more than that would make me memorable and there are only a finite amount of angels in heaven because they can't... reproduce... the way Devils and fallen can without the risk of falling- then I sort of just worked my way up through the ranks and now I am sort of just a peacekeeper tasked with stomping out any rebellious fallen that desire to restart the great war."

"Ok, then why did your father kick you out?" I ask with a raised eyebrow.

"Weeelll, for my own safety, really, he is a fairly important figure in the Grigori and, well, if people knew I was his daughter I would probably be kidnapped to use as leverage..." She mumbles before sighing "kind of a shame that I can't see him much anymore, though."

"Mn... okay, then who is this 'Kokabiel' then? He apparently ordered those three to kill me."

"Well, he is a cadre class fallen angel, with ten wings..." She mutters. "And seeing as how a fallen angel's wings represent their strength... I don't entirely know if I can beat him... but he is silently being investigated as we speak."

"And why did you suddenly decide for me to join you?" I ask.

"Well, I mean... I am sort of lonely... and I feel like I can trust you."

"…"

"Wow... that's sort of sad." I hum.

"Besiiides, you can handle yourself! You beat Raynare and her group with little effort."

She pauses mid-step and gazes off into the distance "Hn... there seems to be a fight in... that direction."

She points out towards the right of us suddenly. "Hmm... I have been meaning to announce my presence to the devils around here... if that is even them..."

She reaches out to me and easily picks me up.

"W-What are you doing?"

"Hold on!" She hums, allowing two pairs of wings to extend from her back.

"W-Wait-"

She suddenly blasts off with a laugh.

"AAAAAA-"

* * *

**Welp, here have another chapter, and I am also going to tell my general 'Plan' for this story, it is just going to be going with the flow, I have fairly inaccurate dxd lore past the first half of the second season, most of it coming from fanfics, but before I start on an arc ill read a summary, anyway, this means that it is going to be sort of my own thing, with new arcs not related to the plot at all, some ocs (you have already seen four, expect some more eventually), and just in general a bizarre adventure for four friends~ Mittelt will probably be there as well though so I mean... eh. **

**Guest Reviews:**

**Guest-Questioner:"Fact one:**

**Following canon is fine, following it directly(under the "leadership" of Rias Gremory)**  
**is not fine.**

**If the Protagonist takes the the place of Issei Hyodou, in every sense of the term replacement,**  
**then that is minus, one star of approval, understand?**

**This seems like an interesting take on highschool DxD, but if the protagonist,**  
**ends up as, just another Issei replacement, as i said, then, yeah,**  
**you are, as they say, playing it safe.**

**Are you going too try for a harem, because if so, i would try to dissuade you from the,**  
**"great lady's" of the issei harem, at every turn, they are just that, common-place, ya'know?**

**I find any, NON-Issei stories interesting, right up until the protagonist "teams up"**  
**with Rias, again & again...and again."**

**.**

**I mean, that is just your opinion though... not an actual fact...**

**Yes, at the very minimum Lucas will be joining the ORC to set up the Raiser plot, and yes, Rias will be practically begging him to join her peerage at every turn, will he actually join her peerage? Probably not. **

**Issei still has the boosted gear, and will definitely still join Rias, but at a slightly later time in the story**

**Harems are going to be a thing, but not fucking REDICULOUS like issei's 28+ girl harem, and what do you mean by 'Great Ladies' of Issei's harem? Just Rias and Akeno, or literally ALL of the girls in his harem, because if it is the latter case, tough luck, issei has a ridiculous number of girls in his canon harem and it will be annoying to avoid every single one of them.**

**Also, there are going to be times when Lu and the bois might team up with Rias, such as a certain ten winged fallen, but otherwise he is going to be doing his own thing.**

**i really dont get the Rias bashing thing anyway, yeah, she can be a bit of a bitch, but Rias bashing has become a larger trope than NON Rias bashing...**

**.**

**Anyways, just wanted to get my weekly chapter out, now I will disappear back into the void. **

**See ya!**


	4. Chapter 4

**I do not own Dxd, Only the oc and any 'new' sacred gear I have created.**

"Speech"

'Thought'

**"Powerful Entities Talking"** (Such as dragons and angry gods who are shouting)

**[Boost]: Ddraig**

**{Divide} Albion**

* * *

We are floating about one hundred feet off the ground looking towards an abandoned factory.

"C-Can you put me down?" I hiss.

"Like, right now?" Mittelt asks with a smirk.

The side of the factory explodes outwards as a large centaur looking monstrosity flies through it along with a wave of water.

"WHATTHEHELLISTHAT?!"

It has the body of a... bear? With a large mouth going vertically down the middle of the front, she has a long snake tail, literally, LIVING snake head tail, and she has an elf ghoul top half... and- she just shot laser beams out of her nipples, didn't she...

"That, is a stray devil, they have betrayed or killed their masters to indulge their own fantasies, and due to their horrid actions- that one has probably been eating humans- they mutate horribly."

"Stray... devil?" I ask.

"Hn. Right, I need to give you the rundown of the supernatural races... kind of strange you got this strong without meeting any of them."

"Like I said, Uratama is a hellscape, my current strength is only slightly above average for the bad half." I scoff.

"Wait, you are telling me, there are literally HUNDREDS of super humans in Uratama?!" Mittelt asks as she looks down at me.

"Pretty much." I shrug. "There is the one girl there that could dent a steel beam with a bat... yeah, she was... scary..."

"…"

A new figure steps out of the factory, smashing the nipple lasers with tendrils of water that change the path of the light into the floor or just simply dissipates it.

A second form appears in front of the first and shoots several small water bullets out of cupped hands, which the stray devil blocks by bringing up one of her monster limbs and using it as a shield.

Mittelt continues floating, holding me under her arm.

I reach into my sleeve and pull out a simple knife.

"Where did you get th-"

I fling the knife downwards. "HEY DEMONIC BITCH!"

The stray devil snaps its head up, allowing the knife to sink into her eye.

"AAAGHHHH!" She roars as she brings up her human hands to her face, then we watch as the water coating her body seemingly animates and slams down on the top of her head.

"Mittelt, can you kill it so we can talk to the dude down there?" I ask. "I am about sixty percent sure that is our school's janitor, Kohaku."

"Yeah, Yeah..." She sighs as she points her free hand downwards, a thin, pink spear of light forming beside us only to be launched down at high speed, piercing the stray devil through the chest, killing it instantaneously.

"Damn..." I mutter as I watch as the mutated form collapses and we lower towards the ground.

"Yo, Kohaku, the hell are you doing here- oh my fucking god you have a stand?!"

"A what?" My ride asks.

"This isn't a stand, it is a spirit familiar which was bound to me at a young age, it has nothing to do with alien arrows or time stopping vampires." The black-haired janitor scoffs as the form behind him seemingly raises its hands in defense, it has a wooden bucket on its head with two eye holes... and mop-head shoulder pads... but other than that it appears to have on metal armor that covers the rest of its body excluding its heels and wrists... which seem to be spewing bubbles.

"Now..." He points in my general direction but slightly above-slash-beside me. "What the hell is that?!"

"oh, that's just a fallen angel." I hum. "Most are total assholes who attempt to assassinate me, but this one seems nice enough"

"I HAVE A NAME, YOU DICK!" 'That' shouts as she drops me the remaining 10 feet or so and lands behind me as I manage to not break my legs on contact with the ground, and land with a crouch.

"So, Kohaku, you are special as well?" I grunt as I cross my arms.

"'Special?'" he asks, gesturing towards the spirit that slowly floats inside him and disappears.

"That was a question of the rhetorical variety..." I scoff. "Anyway, what the hell are you doing out here, man?"

"I got a job to clean this place, at most I thought I would have to destroy a couple of cobwebs, sweep up some dust bunnies, or hell, kill a rat or two... no way in hell did I expect to find a fucking demon chimera monster thing that eats people with a mouth vagina and shoots acid out of her tits."

I raise a hand with an index finger pointed upwards with my mouth open.

"You _really_ don't want to know."

"Alright, that's fair." I close my mouth and lower my hand.

"So, what are you doing out here, Lucas, and what's the deal with your angel friend?" The dark haired janitor asks.

"Well, as I said, fallen assassination, and this is my childhood friend, Milly."

"Mittelt." She deadpans.

"I'm still gonna fuckin call you Milly." I scoff.

"Mn." She scoffs as she turns towards my janitor friend.

"Hey you!" Mittelt points towards Kohaku. "Are you affiliated with the devils that run this town?!"

"The wh-" Kohaku blinks. "Devils run this town?"

"What he said." I grunt as I turn around. "The hell is with this devil crap- THE LOLI."

"Wh-"

"That fucking white haired loli was totally the fucking devil running this town, right?! It would explain how the actual hell she managed to leap out of a three-story window... after me... and stick a perfect three-point landing."

"The toujou girl leapt out of a fucking window?! Wait YOU leapt out of a window?! How are you still remotely even walking?!" Kohaku asks.

"Tuck and roll." I shrug.

"Huh... yeah... angel girl, you have some splaining to do..." The janitor deadpans as he turns back to the short blond... also loli.

"I'll give you two the shorted version... Blah blah blah all supernatural races are real, all religions are correct, there was a war between fallen, devils, and regular angels like a bazillion years ago, called 'the great war' the devils had a civil war reducing their numbers, then they came up with a way to reincarnate regular humans as devil servants, this town is controlled by two high class devils named 'Rias Gremory' and 'Sona Sitri', and I am here to prevent another great war as a couple of our agents have gone rogue and decided to cause mischief in the territories of the little sisters of the Maou Serafall Leviathan and Sirzech Lucifer."

"I knew the head of the student council was evil!" Kohaku exclaims. "None of the teachers believed me!"

She takes a deep breath and continues. "No, the Maou aren't 'literally satan', it is just a title they have gained after the original satans died, but, even if they aren't the original, the weaker of the two has the power to completely destroy japan and bother are definite sis-cons, so if anything were to happen to them or the two's peerages- the thing they call those devil reincarnation things- they will probably restart the great war, plunging earth as we know it into chaos and probably even dragging in other pantheons into this mess."

She then points to Kohaku. "You are now temporarily drafted into the Grigori to stop the second great war."

"Wh- who said I even wanted to join?! I still need to clean out all the dead bodies from the factory... and remove this... thing... which I now realize I don't exactly know HOW I am going to do, as it weighs over a ton and has acid blood or something." Kohaku growls.

Mittelt holds a hand out to it and makes it disappear with a flash of light... and the squelching sound of like twenty light spears stabbing the corpse at the same time.

"That... shortens things..." The janitor mutters.

"I would also like to point out, that devils aren't necessarily evil, just selfish creatures who will more than likely try to trick you into joining their peerages if you are strong enough... each of you seem to fit the bill."

"So, like, what's the deal with that slavery thing?" I ask.

She points towards the place the chimera's corpse once rested. "That... was a stray devil... that is what you become when a reincarnated devil kills or betrays their master and does horridly evil acts, such as consuming humans... reincarnated devils are practically slaves to their 'master' but they have a chance to 'rank up' from low class devils and get their own peerages... Devils normally look no different than a human, as they, like fallen angels, have retractable wings."

"So, the white haired strong loli trope is a slave to the Gremory girl?" I mumble.

"The Gremories and the Sitri are actually fairly pleasant to their slaves- ***Cough* **Peerage members, so I wouldn't worry about it too much." Mittelt hums.

"Mn." I grunt. "Hey Kohaku, does your stand have a name?"

"It's not a fucking-" he sharply inhales. "No, it does not, I simply call it my Spirit. Familiar... say it with me Lucas... **Spirit**... **familiar**."

"If you don't call it 'Ocean Man' from now on, we aren't friends anymore." I deadpan.

"Are we... friends though?"

"WE FUCKING BETTER BE!" I shout. "YOU HAVE A STAND AND I AM LITERALLY JOSEPH JOESTAR!"

"Your next line is 'Prove it.' To you."

"Prove-" he inhales. "oh my god."

"Wait wait wait, I feel like I am missing something here, what the hell is a Joseph Joestar, and how the HECK did you predict what he just said?!" Mittelt asks.

"You... never watched Jojo's Bizzare Adventure?" I mumble. "I mean, I get not knowing what a stand is, they probably aren't going to remake part three until well into next year or so, but part two is in full swing and extremely popular, how have you NOT seen it?!"

"…" Mittelt narrows her eyes at me with a slight look of confusion and a gesture with her hands as if to say 'what the hell are you even talking about'? "You do realize most of my time is taken up by one: training, two: stopping a war that will LITERALLY DESTROY THE PLANET! And three: sleeping and eating... I don't have time to mess around with animes right now."

"Alright listen here you little shit. I am going to walk in the direction your friends went, kick their ass by pulling another Tommy gun out of literally nowhere, and I am going to fucking FORCE YOU to take a break. Alright? Alright."

I turn and walk away from the two of them muttering under my breath. "Alright, now, how the hell am I going to find blue haired girl and Dohnaseek..."

"…"

"Fuck it, I'll just get a subway." I shrug. "Things will work themselves out."

"Wait! Come back! Don't you dare leave, Lu!"

* * *

Mittelt is standing behind me with her arms crossed and with a pout, her 'kawaii'-her words, not mine- maid outfit replaced with a simple school uniform from a nearby school.

"Hello sir, what do you want?" The woman standing behind the bar asks.

"I would like a sandwich with, pepper jack, green peppers, cucumbers, lettuce, red onions, jalapenos-"

"black olives?" The woman asks with a notepad.

"No olives!" I hiss. "How dare you taint my ears with that horrid sandwich topping!"

The woman blinks at me.

"What sort of meats would you like, sir?"

"Peperoni and Salami." I answer

"Bread and sauces?"

"Italian bread, garlic aioli and yellow mustard please."

"it will be ready in a moment." The woman hums.

I step away and glance out the window as I prop against a nearby wall, Mittelt following me with crossed arms and a pout still on her face.

"Stop ignoring me!"

"Stop pouting." I yawn.

She narrows her eyes at me.

***Ring Ring Ring***

"…" Milly stares at me blankly.

***Ring Ring Ring***

I silently pull my phone out of my outer school uniform as I lift up one of the unbutton sides.

I answer it "Yo, this is Lucas."

_"LU WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!" _The voice of Zengjya meets my ears.

"I leapt out the window."

_"I saw that, BUT WHY THOUGH?!"_

"The white-haired girl wanted me to meet the _Gremory_, thus ruining my already shit social life."

_"But the window, dude?!"_

"Yeah, what of it? It was only three stories."

_"The girl leapt after you!"_

"Yeah, and she stuck a sick three-point landing and started chasing me."

_"I have been trying to call you for about an hour!"_

"Okay, I was doing something pretty important."

_"What exactly where you doing?"_

"Oh, I got attacked by a swarm of crows and met an old friend, been hanging out with her for a while... I did the tommygun bit by the way."

_"Wh- You got attacked by the fal- the things?!"_

"Yeah, pretty disappointing though, I managed to beat back all three of them fairly easily."

_"What?!"_

"Sir your sandwich is ready." The woman behind the counter announces.

"Anyways, any particular reason you are calling me?"

I reach into my blazer again and pull out my wallet, then I prop my phone in between my ear and shoulder as I get out seven hundred or so yen and place the coins on the counter.

_"Wes and I just wanted to know where the hell you disappeared to."_

"Yeah? Well, I'm on my way back home."

I put the wallet back in my blazer and pick up my phone again, grabbing the bag my sandwich is in and walk towards the door, saying a quick 'Keep the change' over my shoulder.

"I should be back in like... te-"

A couple quickly rushes in front of Mittelt and I, it is Issei the pervert, sprinting as fast as he can, pulling along a blond nun who is also running quickly, and they are being chased by like... five guys in trench coats.

I look over my shoulder. "I told you buying a sandwich would work out, that's our lead right there."

"Yeah, yeah." Mittelt sighs. "You are all powerful and the plot revolves around you, bow to the new god, blah blah blah."

_"Lu?"_

"I'll be back sometime later, got something important to take care of right now, See ya!"

I hang up and slip the phone back into my blazer along with my sandwich as Mittelt and I dash after the group of seven just as the last of the men turn down an alleyway.

"W-where did that sandwich go?!" Mittelt asks.

"You don't have an internal sandwich pocket on all of your clothes?" I ask with an amused smirk as we reach the alleyway.

We look down the alleyway to see that it is one of those generic walled alleyways for all your dramatic and cliché needs... about fifteen feet back, Issei is standing in front of the nun with his fists raised. "S-Stay back!"

"Hn, his form is all wrong." I mutter under my breath as I step forwards. "Oi."

Everyone in the alleyway pauses and looks to me, the five thugs wielding... tubes... like, just fucking hand-sized tubes, and toy pistols...

"…"

"You five should pick on someone your own size, that perv probably couldn't take an anorexic dwarf, let alone five cloaked pedophiles... luckily, a badass just so happens to be in the area, so now I am going to make you five eat through tubes."

'probability of victory: one hundred percent.'

The one closest to me points his toy pistol at me and pulls the trigger ***Click* **

He looks confusedly at the side of it for a moment then points it back at me and pulls the trigger twice more. ***Click Click***

"Jim... did you even put bullets in that?" The one in the far back, closer to Issei and Nun Girl asks as he turns around.

"I know I fucking did! Like what?! Why isn't it fucking working?!"

Jim looks up from his gun to see my fist crash into his face. "Agh-"

And he falls unconscious, bouncing once.

I take a step forwards, ducking under a slash from guy two's LITERAL FUCKING LIGHTSABER WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?! And I land an uppercut which knocks him out.

I dive to the side as one of them shoots their gun and sends a LASERBEAM towards me.

'I am going to take all of those fucking things...'

As I near the wall of the alleyway, I hop onto the side of it and leap again, landing a kick to the cheek of guy three, then, while I am midair; I reach into my blazer and pull out my weapon of choice...

Guy four shoots at me with his own laser pistol, but the blast of concentrated light hits the mirror and rebounds cracking the mirror, the reflected blast of light going straight into his left kneecap, punching a hole into it and forcing him to fall to a kneeling position- only to be utterly stomped as I land on him, then, as I am grabbing the wrist of guy five I slam the cracked mirror into his face, sending shards of glass into his eyes.

I release his wrist as he leans back and covers his face, screaming in agony, only to be silenced as I land two attacks, a snap kick on his knee, causing it to bend backwards, and a palm strike that breaks his nose and knocks him unconscious.

I just toss the broken hand mirror over my shoulder as I take a deep breath, then breathe out.

"So, what are you two doing out here being chased by these five?" I ask, stepping over one of the groaning forms.

Issei slowly blinks at me. "Y-You took them all out, effortlessly... I-in like ten seconds flat!"

"Yeh."

Mittelt walks over to one of the prone men and kicks them in the side. "Hn, Stray exorcists... I was being sarcastic when you said this was a lead, but... damn... it probably is one."

"T-Thank you, sir!" The nun exclaims.

"No problem, so why are you two being chased by these five."

"O-oh, well, earlier I when I got off the train, I met this kind gentleman who I asked to show me the way to the church, then those five showed up and said they were going to show me the way to the church, b-but they have nefarious purposes and after I-Issei said he had it covered they threatened to harm him, so Issei got us both out of there."

"Mhn." I hum as I step over to the groaning pile of bodies who Mittelt is poking with a stick.

"So you want to go to the church, hm?"

"You... know Italian?" Issei asks.

"No, I read the subtitles, dumbass." I scoff as I start searching through their pockets.

"Wh-"

"That's a 'yes', Lu is just a sarcastic _bastard_." Mittelt states.

"I never met either of my parents~" I hum.

"so, who are you?" Issei asks, giving a slightly lecherous grin towards Mittelt.

"Perv on her and I will actually kill you." I growl over my shoulder as I crab a case of white tipped bullets, slipping them into my blazer, followed shortly by their pistols and LIGHTSABERS.

"Perv on me and I'll kill you myself." Mittelt scoffs.

"Alright." Issei says while raising his hands in a surrendering motion as he quickly pales.

I stand up. "The church, you said? That's where they wanted you to go?"

"Mhm!" The girl nods.

I look to the boy. 'he seems... dangerous...?'

"Well, Boy with sacred gear, Girl with sacred gear..." I shrug before bowing slightly. "I bid you both adieu."

"Blah blah edgy 'don't go to school tomorrow' joke- but replace the word school with church- and I'm outie~" I turn around and walk out of the alleyway. "let's go Milly."

"Mn." She scoffs. "I'm supposed to be the leader."

"Sure, sure." I shrug. "We need to grab my friends and the janitor, then we can stop great war two electric boogaloo."

"So, we need to get there quick, Riiiight?" Mittelt asks as we pause at the front of the alleyway.

"Ye- NO! DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!"

"Too late!" She cackles.

She grabs me from behind and allows her four wings to sprout from her back.

"AN ANGEL?!" Issei exclaims.

"AAAAAA-" we take off into the sky. "WHY ARE YOU BEING A TOTAL BIIIIITCH!"

"THIS IS FOR ACTIVELY IGNORING ME FOR THE PAST HOUR!" She shouts back.

* * *

**Sooo, my cat died this Thursday c: life is good and I am glad to live it~ **

**Whydoesbadthingshappentogoodpeople?**

**Guest Reviews:**

**Guest 001: "**** Flashback says she has 6 swings**  
**She says she has 4**

**Either she lying or a minor inconsistency"**

**.**

**You didn't read this part very well, did you? '****but seeing as that I 'have' four wings- because having more than that would make me memorable and there are only a finite amount of angels in heaven because they can't... reproduce... the way Devils and fallen can without the risk of falling-'**

**See the 'have'? That mean's she's saying that she 'has' four wings, when she actually has more than that, because having more than 4 would make her too memorable.**

**.**

**Guest Questioner:**

***Long comment about Rias bashing and the duality of man... maybe some butts and stuff considering this is dxd but it don't want to copy paste because I feel like this 'review thing' has gone on long enough for today***

**.**

**Hn, you are probably right, she is sort of a bitch. But who says that my Rias has to be a total bitch? She could just be a slight bitch~ because, Afterall, Issei hasn't been asked to date Yuuma, Issei hasn't died, and Rias hasn't 'allowed him to die' for her own gains, as he hasn't died... yet. But those are all fair points, and I will take them into consideration.**

**.**

**Anyways, see you all later~**


	5. Chapter 5

**I do not own Dxd, Only the oc and any 'new' sacred gear I have created.**

"Speech"

'Thought'

**"Powerful Entities Talking"** (Such as dragons and angry gods who are shouting)

**[Boost]: Ddraig**

**{Divide} Albion**

* * *

Mittelt Drops me roughly on the fire escape near apartment's window

"You know, normally, I would take a nap right now because I am fucking TIRED, but meh, I suppose we should beat up those bastards before they relocate, I really don't know if I could pull of a win against the angels anymore though..."

Mittelt lands beside me as I knock on the glass window "Mn"

The curtain is pulled back revealing Wes who looks briefly confused at the glass.

"Wes, it's me, let me in you lil shit." I scoff as I knock on the glass again.

"How do I know it is even you?" He asks, his voice muffled from the glass.

"Remember that time when you had some captain crun-"

The window slides open. "Alright, it's you... but who is this?"

He looks towards Mittelt with his murky white eyes.

"She's just a friend from loooong ago, before I even met you or Zen~" I hum as I crawl inside. "Basically, we are going to have another Bloodraven situation on our hands, but more world-wide instead of city wide..."

Wes puts a hand on his forehead. "Shit... again?"

"Well, I mean, instead of a black-haired prick giving out free superpowered mind domination steroids to spark superpowered gang wars, we have to deal with a few fallen angels trying to start a race war between normal angels, fallen, and devils... I have already taken down one, so now we should only have to deal with two."

"Three." Mittelt states. "Also... what the hell is this 'bloodraven' thing you are talking about?"

"Whazzat?" I ask as I turn to look at her. "Three? I thought you took Raynare out of the picture."

"I did... there is a fourth fallen angel named Sorush, and he has four wings, not two." She answers. "Keep in mind, a normal fallen angel with four wings is about six-to-eight times the strength of a regular two-winged fallen angel."

"You seem to know a lot about fallen angels, lady." Wes deadpans.

"Well, yeah, she is one." I shrug as I walk past him, leaving Mittelt on the fire escape by herself.

"WH-" Wes lowers his body slightly into a stance that will allow him to fling his body out of the way of any oncoming attacks, frowning and narrowing his eyes.

I flick him on the back of the head. "Quit it. She's on our side, and what about 'old friend' did you miss?"

"Lu, you are awfully trusting of her if you haven't seen her in years." Wes deadpans.

"Well, I am going to be completely honest here, if she wanted me dead, she would detonate the entire city and I would be dead."

"…"

"Sooo, where is Zen?" I ask as I flop down on the couch.

"Getting a shower." The shota shrugs as he sits down on a recliner, legs flung over one of the arms.

"Ooooh, that's a shame." I sigh. "because he is probably going to be pretty bloodstained after today."

Mittelt sits beside me. "So why did you need your friends?

"Well, I mean, you could probably sense that we all have sacred gears... yeah, we all have them in a semi-locked state for stealth and for a bit of a strength suppressant to make fights a little more fun... well, I unlocked it during my fight with those other three... and, well, the process to re-lock them is super annoying, so I am probably just going to keep it out now... but you are probably going to want a bit of help dealing with the bois."

"You... have shadowbox, don't you?" Mittelt asks.

"Yep." I yawn. "The sacred gear that gives my shadow a hammer space... I'm kind of disappointed that Wes and Zen have better ones actually."

"We are going in 'loud'?" Wes asks.

"Sure, unlock it if you want."

Mittelt flinches slightly as a wave of power washes over her.

Wes stands up and repeatedly clenches his fist, then jumps once and touches the ceiling which is easily seven or so feet up.

"Hn!" He stretches allowing his joints to pop. "It's good to be back in action!"

"So, like, why are we actually doing this?" Wes asks as he sits back down.

"What part of 'World-wide race war' did you misunderstand?" I ask.

"You said, Angels, Fallen Angels, and Devils, but I didn't hear 'Human' in that."

"One: we are doing this because Mittelt is my friend, and Two: do you REALLY think that humans wont be caught up in that? That's like asking for a world war to happen in your Livingroom and expecting none of your property to be damaged."

"Both are fair points I suppose." The shota shrugs.

"How is a sassy blind boy going to help?" Mittelt asks.

""I (He) can see."" Wes and I state at the same time, the prior being a bit more hostile in his assertion.

"But... he is blind?" Mittelt asks.

"Hey Wes, pass me the remote?" I ask as I hold out my hand to the far left.

The blond boy picks up the remote sitting on the end table beside him and tosses it directly towards my hand which I easily catch.

"Wh- how?!" The fallen sitting beside me asks.

"He can see with his other senses... actually he can probably see better than you and me because he has three-hundred and sixty degrees of Vision... for about sixty feet."

"The thing is," Wes continues where I left off. "I cant really make out any 'details' unless I am within about ten feet, I just see a general 'outline' when they are farther out, but if they are close I can see If they have a weak lung, their expression, and even see how their blood pumps."

"But I mean, without his sacred gear, he had maybe half of that?" I hum.

"Yeah, now I can actually tell you are a fallen angel because of the way your blood pumps to your wings... and it does make me think 'why can't you just beat every single one of them without our help' because you have six_ of them_."

"Hn, yeah sounds about right." I hum.

Her eyes take on a dangerous glint. "You can't tell anyone I have more than four..."

"She is stealthing it up, something about angels not being able to reproduce and the people of her organization remembering anyone with six wings or more." I shrug.

"Wouldn't they remember you had eight- or six wings when you were in heaven? If that's how it actually works when Angels fall from heaven..." Wes asks.

"Mn." She grunts. "Long story short, I was born between two fallen angels, and it is rare for any 'second generation' fallen angels to get more than a single pair of wings, I can count all cases on a single hand and still have a couple fingers left over, and each have a parent with six or more wings, and a second parent with at least four, and even then, they have only managed to get four wings."

"So for you, a second generation fallen angel, who had six at whenever you met Lu... your parents must be strong as SHIT." Wes exclaims. "Why don't you just have them do it?"

"Wes, she can't just have her parents do EVERYTHING for her." I scoff. "Politics n shit."

"Mnnn." The boy scoffs.

"Alright, what's going on in here?" A new voice asks from the hallway leading to the bathroom, he takes a step out revealing Zengjya in a tank top and sweatpants with wet hair.

"Worldwide Bloodraven debacle." I yawn. "Unlock your gear and let's go finish it up tonight, I'm tired."

"We're going loud?" He asks.

"Yep. Honestly I am getting bored and apparently devils run our school so that will add a bit of spice to my daily life~" I hum.

"Hn, yeah, if fallen angels are real, I guess devils and angels are real as well... who's the girl?" Zen sighs.

"Oh, she is just my friend from ages ago... Say hello, Milly."

"Mittelt." She deadpans.

"Like I said I am still going to call you Milly." I shrug.

Mittelt flinches briefly as another wave of power passes over her, this one even bigger than the first.

"How are you all... so strong... yet you know nearly nothing about the supernatural?" She asks.

"Pfft- Uratama is too hellish for even devils am I right, Zen?" I laugh as I get up and walk to the door.

"You got that right!" The black haired teen snorts. "So, are we leaving now?"

"Yeah, we should deal with this quickly." I say as I open the door. "Milly, Wes, come on."

Mittelt lets out a sigh and get up, walking slowly behind me.

* * *

"So... that's the place hn?" Zen asks.

"it looks like shit." I deadpan.

"Why are fallen angels in a chruch?" Wes asks. "That seems like a normal angel sort of thing to do..."

"It is horridly abandoned, fallen angels tend to flock to places like this to deface them, something about 'getting back at god' or something along those lines... kind of dumb if you ask me, why would you taunt a guy who can smite you with lightning bolts n shit." The fourth member of our group scoffs.

"It's so... filthy." our fifth member grunts. "Ugh, this is going to take forever to clean..."

Zen looks back towards Kohaku. "Sooo, why did you bring the janitor?"

"He has a stand." I grin.

"Pfft- Wait seriously?! PHAHAH! That's absolutely GOLD!" He laughs.

"It's not a stand." Kohaku growls. "It is just a Spirit Familiar who I have started to call Ocean Man."

"You'd better." I snort as I blankly walk out of the brush towards the door.

"Are we going to just blankly walk in there?!" Kohaku asks.

"Yep." I smirk as I make it to the door, Wes and Zen right behind me.

I kick open the door, hitting it in just the right place as to knock it off its hinges.

"Who the hell are you?!" A voice asks. "I was expecting some shitty devils! Not a bunch of humans and... YOU!"

A man with chin-length white hair and blood red eyes steps out from behind a statue and points dramatically at Mittelt who is standing beside me with her arms crossed.

"ANGELBITCH! What the hell are you doing here?!"

"Freed Sellzen... tch, I should have known that a stray priest like you was on Sorush's payroll..."

"Just what are you saying?" The man, known as freed asks with a hand on his chest in mock hurt. "I have never met that man in my life! He isn't downstairs doing a ritual and you can't prove otherwise!"

"Hehe that's a fucking lie~ but you little bitches aren't going to be able to get past me, yeah?" He sticks his tongue out and tilts his head. "I can't wait to slice up you bastards~"

"hn he's fucking bonkers..." I grunt. "Zen do the thing."

"The thing?"

"The thing, yes."

The maniac in front of us quickly snaps his eyes to the left of me where Zen is slowly walking forwards. "YOU! WHERE DID YOUR FRIEND GO?!"

"Who?" I ask.

Zen continues his walk towards him, unopposed.

The madman stumbles slightly to the left then wobbles to the right. "What did you do?!"

I point at him dramatically with both of my hands, one arm over my head as I turn my body so my side is facing him. "It seems like the poison is finally kicking in... earlier today, I placed a toxin inside your food and you were unaware all this time, now it is finally taking effect, you can expect a painful and bloody death accompanied by loss of balance, seeing ghosts..."

Zen stops directly in front of him.

"A bloody nose."

Zen brings his arm back as punches Freed right in the face, breaking his nose and causing blood to spew from it.

"A cracked rib."

Zen pulls back his hand and unleashes a brutal palm strike to his chest, knocking the wind out of him and causing him to hack up a little spittle.

"And finally, paralysis and a serious case of randomly appearing handcuffs."

Zen reaches out and pinches his shoulder causing him to drop to the floor, then he pulls out a pair of handcuffs I had given him earlier and handcuffs one of his ankles to his wrist behind his back.

"Cocaine's a hell of a drug." I shrug.

I walk over to the two and yawn. "He said downstairs, right?"

The crazed man has got over his little cramp and is frothing at the mouth. "YOU FUCKING LITTLE DICKSHIT BATSARDS WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE YOUR ASS IS GRASS BITCH AND IM THE FUCKING LAWNFDGHIAGF-"

I shove a sock in his mouth.

"MHn MHNH MHNNNH MNN BHNC!"

"Hey, Milly, do you like want to maybe..."

"Teleport him to Grigori?" She asks.

"Sure, yeah, that works." I hum. "I was just thinking about dumping him in a tub of hydrochloric acid."

The writhing man disappears with a flash.

"So... what the actual hell just happened?" Kohaku asks.

"Sacred gear." I shrug. "Zen's is probably the strongest out of ours... well, in one on ones of course..."

I walk over to the alter and wordlessly shove it aside with my foot. "Secret passage... Tadaaaa~"

I strut down the stairs with a smile on my face. 'I feel like I am about to fucking pass out~ this is greaaat! Power overuse is a bastard.'

We come to a locked door so I simply flick my hand downwards pulling out a large bat-sized tube which I hold underhand and point towards the door.

"BREACHING!"

I clench my fist around the tube, creating a clicking sound, then a bright light fills the hallway as a rocket sprouts from the tip of the tube and hits the door in the center and explodes.

The door falls off its hinges with a hole the size of a basketball through the top middle as most of the explosive charge punched cleanly through it.

"Damn... that's a pretty good fucking door... like, it's made of wood, right?" I mutter.

I prop the now empty rocket launcher on my shoulders like a bat as we walk into the room. "Sup fuckers~"

I cast a quick gaze over the room to see upwards of fifty stray exorcists standing around, gazing right at our group of five, in the distance I see a tall white haired man wearing a fancy cloaked tuxedo, on his back are four large black wings which he is using to float in front of a cross with- that nun... from before... on it... screaming in agony...

The long haired man turns around as the blue haired fallen from earlier floats around him, Dohnaseeks, slowly floats up from the groups of stray exorcists. "Hm? You aren't devils."

His eyes stray to Mittelt. "Oh, it's you, Azazel's dog... a shame that you are too late... after I extract her sacred gear, I will complete lord Kokabiel's wishes and destroy Kuoh Academy.

"Hn I was going to make a Sephiroth joke but this isn't the place or time- scratch that, definitely the place, just not the time." I mutter to myself as I drop the spent RPG.

I glance to my short blond midget friend... the male one...

"Midget!" I point dramatically forwards. "Obliterate!"

A sword appears in his hand and he slashes it at open air, creating a massive blade of air that cleaves through a good twenty percent of the mooks, then the sword sparks with electricity and he disappears with a crack of thunder, reappearing in the middle of a group who starts bleeding from many wounds.

"Wind, speed, and electricity hn?" I hum two light sword handles fall out of my sleeves and into my waiting hands.

"Zen, save the girl." I frown as everyone starts to react "Kohaku, Stando power... Ill go fight Sephiroth... BREAK!"

With that I dash off into the swarm, deflecting attacks and weaving through stray exorcists at rapid speeds.

A pommel strike to the face, a kick to the dick, a slash to the side, a brief moment when I stabbed someone through the kneecap, and I am through the swarm standing at the bottom of a large staircase staring up at the three fallen, ignoring the sounds of thundercracks, torrents of water and someone screaming about spiders behind me.

"SPIDERS! SPIDERS! SPIDERS! AAAAAAAA THEY ARE TOUCHING MY SOUUUUL!"

I suppose it is kind of hard to ignore that last one...

I take a single step forwards, only to leap up to the next step and around a lightspear from blue haired bitch.

"Tch-"

I deflect a lightspear thrown by Dohnaseek with my blade of light and quickly sprint up the stairs. "GET DOWN FROM THERE YOU LITTLE SHITS!"

I drop one of my light swords in my sprint, my shadow literally writhing and quickly lashing out to snatch it out of the air where it disappears into it.

I hold my hand slightly behind my head and a handgun is placed in it, which I quickly point forwards and unload at the blue haired angel as I use my other hand parry a spear stab from Dohnaseeks who had flown close.

I abruptly drop the gun as it empties, allowing it to fall into my shadow, then, as my hand blackens slightly, I reach out and snatch one of blue haired fallen's spears out of the air and use it to impale Dohnaseek through the side, causing him to wince and widen his eyes in surprise as I trip him down the stairs and throw the spear through one of his wings for good measure.

Then I barely deflect a thrown spear from the blue haired angel with the side of my blade, the contact causing it to barely veer past my head, causing yellow and white sparks to fly past my face, following the trail of the spear.

Zen dashes past me and reaches the top of the stairs, landing a punch to the side of the face of Sorush who looks thoroughly surprised about that, as he is launched off the top of the of the large tower like structure, then Zen reaches out towards the chains, only to pull back as if they burned him.

"ZEN!" I shout as I fling my lightblade up the staircase, where it collides with blue haired fallen's thrown lightspear aimed for Zen's side, and deflects it, the active light sword rebounding off of it right into Zengjya's waiting hand who slashes the chains, breaking them, and causing the girls screams of pain to stop.

"NO!" Sorush shouts as he flies back up to the top of the tower in the blink of an eye and lands a brutal punch to Zenjgya's stomach, causing him to cough up a little blood.

He goes to strike again, but flinches as a bullet impacts his forearm, then falls off leaving a small smoking spot.

He briefly looks to me, leaving himself open for Zen to pinch him.

With a simple wave of his hand, Sorush sends a wave of wind at Zen, launching him off the tower as he seems to be unaffected by the pinch.

Mittelt swoops in and catches Zen before he hits the ground and places him gently on the ground with a spin, then flies up towards the top of the sacred gear extractor only to be cut off by a yellow lightspear that forces her to pull back to avoid being hit.

Sorush turns back to the nun and reaches out to her arm as she breathes heavily.

"HERMIT PURPLE!"

A thorny rope of shadow coils around his throat and pulls him backwards, a couple steps down the staircase, and away from the nun. "W-WHAT?!" He roars.

He turns around revealing the shadowy vine is connected to my wrist and wrapped around both of my hands.

"GET OVER HERE!"

I pull again, drawing him closer, then I let go with my offhand and reach behind my back, just as he begins to pull back.

He starts to fly off the staircase, but the vine suddenly disappears as I crouch slightly, pulling out my next weapon of choice.

I have another Rpg which I place on my shoulder, quickly aim, and pull the trigger, sending the projectile rocketing towards him, only to hit a barrier that Sorush created and launch molten slag and shrapnel through a small hole it makes.

***BOOM***

The smoke from the explosion blows outwards revealing a tattered Sorush, he actually doesn't appear to be that worse for wear considering he just tanked a rocket to the chest, at most he has a small flesh wound and the top of his coat and tuxedo was destroyed , I drop the used rocket launcher and allow my next weapon to slide out from my sleeve

"YOU HUMAN WELP!" He roars as he flies directly towards me.

"Heh." I smirk.

He appears right in front of me with a spear raised prepared to impale me, but a sawed-off shotgun barrel is pressed to his chin. "w-what?"

"You got played."

***Crac-BOOM***

He falls backwards... unconscious... two small holes in the weak flesh under his jawbone, a small trickle of blood flowing from the holes, but it looks like my attack barely even broke his skin, but his ears appear to be bleeding so that's probably what knocked him out.

'THOSE WERE FUCKING SLUGS! EXCUSE ME?! HOW THE HELL IS HE STILL REMOTELY ALIVE?! BULLSHIT!'

I let none of my rage bleed out into my outward appearance.

Mittelt is about five feet to the right with a stunned expression on her face, pink lightspear primed and a handful of black feathers in her offhand.

"How did you- h-he had four wings... how could you as a normal... human... beat him?"

The sounds of combat have pretty much died down, Wes is pointing his summoned katana at the neck of Dohnaseek, and several coils of water are holding the blue haired fallen upside-down, and now that I look closer has a noticeable chunk of missing feathers from her right wing.

'Today has been a rough day... how much have I been using my power?' The corners of my vision darken. 'oh no.'

"Thaz the powah of asspulls. Bish." I state as I sway ominously. "Thiss is gud palce for namp."

I fall down the stairs.

* * *

**Well, I decided to post this a little early... as I won't be able to really post anything on Wednesday... sucks to suck I guess, but here you go, have this slightly longer chapter of asspulls, predictions, and bullshit.**

**See you all later~**


	6. Chapter 6

**I do not own Dxd, Only the oc and any 'new' sacred gear I have created.**

"Speech"

'Thought'

**"Powerful Entities Talking"** (Such as dragons and angry gods who are shouting)

**[Boost]: Ddraig**

**{Divide} Albion**

* * *

I gasp and sit up. "WHERE AM I- oh just home..."

I gaze around the room, nothing seems out of the ordinary, the clock says it's about four fifty, and judging by the darkness, A.M.

'hn, well, that was a pretty good nap...'

I roll off the couch and stand up. 'jog time~'

* * *

**Pov: ?**

'D-Damnit! Murayama was right...'

I take a shaky step back from a group of four guys who are wielding knives menacingly.

"Heeeey we won't bite~ why don't you just give us a good time, yeah?"

I take another step back and I bump into something.

I slowly turn around to see one of the new students from my school, the 'Beast of Kuoh Academy', he is apparently a massive delinquent and a massive brute if the rumor mill is correct.

His dark blue orbs looks down at me with disinterest and runs a hand through his white hair. "Again?" He scoffs as he grabs my shoulder and pushes me out of the way.

"What's with this fucking town?" He mutters. "Am I just good at finding soon to be molested girls, or is the only fucking crime these Neanderthals think about is rape?"

I turn around with a scowl on my face, only to pause as he boredly walks over to the group of four who are brandishing their knives at him.

"Who the hell are you, punk?!" Growls who I assume to be the leader of their little group.

"Hn... I have a lot of names, really, 'Fucking Bastard', 'Lucky-git', 'Dumbass idiot', 'Joseph Joestar Incarnate', 'Wrath of Uratama'… but I think I am going to go with... 'Badass of Kuoh'." The white-haired teen hums. "And you are threatening someone from my school."

He points ahead with one hand. "Your next line is 'Hn, so you are one of those pretentious 'true thugs' from Uratama huh?' To you."

"Hn, so you are one of those pretentious 'true thugs' from Uratama h- HUH?!" The thug in the front gasps and widens his eyes... only to catch an uppercut from the white-haired teen that sends him literally flipping head over heels. "AGUH-"

The white haired delinquent lashes out with a roundhouse kick, shattering the nose of the next thug, then steps forwards and lands a brutal palm strike on the chest of the third ***crack***, then just as the fourth guy begins to react as stab forwards with his knife, the white haired teen catches the remaining thug's wrist and lands three jabs against his face, then lets go of his wrist and knocks him out with an absolutely BRUTAL haymaker ***CRACK***... I-I think I saw some of his teeth fly out of his mouth as his head is knocked to the side.

He steps over the groaning pile of bodies and continues on his way.

'w-what?! H-he just knocked them all out in like five seconds... h-how the hell?!'

"W-Wait!" I call out.

He looks over his shoulder. "If you think I did that for you, your dead wrong... I just wanted some chumps to beat on."

He continues walking. "Keep yourself out of trouble. I won't always be around to beat everyone into a pulp."

He waves a hand over his shoulder. "Peace. I'm out."

I blink as he disappears around the corner.

* * *

**Pov: Rias**

"Hn? The fallen angels have been utterly destroyed?" I ask.

Koneko, my rook gives me a simple nod. "Mn."

"How?"

"I smelt the white-haired guy there... along with the blind boy, his older black-haired friend, and our janitor... there was also a lot of blood and feathers, but I don't think any of the fallen angels are dead as I smelt more than one fallen angel with four or more wings there..."

"Joseph himself dealt with that?" I mutter. 'Hn... well, at least we won't have to worry about our new pawn getting himself attacked...'

"it was probably the Grigori taking down a couple stray fallen angels..." Kokeno mutters.

"T-Then is jojo incarnate part of the Grigori?! Why wasn't I informed that their agents were in my city?!" I hiss.

"Mn."

* * *

**Pov: Lucas.**

I glance across the classroom towards Zen who is taking notes on whatever the teacher is teaching.

'Yesterday was pretty fun, but... now I am bored again.'

I let out a sigh. "Fourty Four."

"What do you think the answer is then, Lucas-" the teacher inhales then goes back to teaching.

After that, classes proceeded as normal, and the day has ended.

A while haired loli enters the classroom.

"FUCK-"

I hop out of the open window beside me, then, mid-air as I look down at the world below, I see the 'Light Prince' of Kuoh academy, Yuuto Kiba, widely known to be a member of the occult research club. "PISS."

I stop my descent by grabbing onto the ledge of the second floor's window with a single hand, then I crack it open and crawl inside.

A couple people who are still in classroom look at me as I crawl in and shut the window behind me. "Ignore me."

I walk across the classroom, pausing in front of the closed classroom door, then I simply turn around, and re-open the window... then I leap out of it to see that Kiba Yuuto is gone.

'HAH! My bluff worked!'

I land safely with a roll then sprint out of the school.

"Hn, yes good... another successful escape..." I hum as sling my bag over my shoulder.

"'Escape?' What the hell do you mean by that?"

"Oh, hey, Milly." I hum as I turn to look to the short blond fallen who is standing just across the road from me.

She quietly walks over to me.

"Honestly, I expected you to be held up in some sort of super-secret meeting, maybe get another assignment."

Her shoulders slump and she brushes away her long stray strand of hair out of her face. "I handled that all over phonecall..."

"Hn, no magic?"

"Why would we use magic when we have perfectly good cellphones?" She asks. "the only problem... is that it was a three. Hour. Phone call... I even had to plug my phone in so it didn't die mid-way through!"

"So, that means you are leaving?" I ask

She scoffs. "As if... I am now more or less 'permanently' stationed here because this just seems like where a lot of bullshit is going down... I mean, we have you, the Gremory and Sitri heiresses... honestly I think this place might be cursed..."

"Mn..." I grunt. "Do you even have a place to stay?"

"Well, I mean _conveniently,_ the apartment right next to yours has freed up... I was just hanging out in a motel, but an apartment is much more manageable for a long-term placement~"

"And, well, now I have to go speak with the Gremory and Sitri heriesses about my placement here."

"Really? Them?" I sigh. "Piss... I just leapt out of a third story window to avoid the Gremory."

Mittelt sigh, then grabs me by my collar and slowly drags me back the way I came.

"Oh, we are really doing this?" I ask.

"We are going to meet them." She deadpans.

"hn... alright... but only if you manage to somehow survive my special attac-" I cut myself off. "Hey Mittelt, there's a spider crawling on your hand."

"EEK-" she releases me and slaps at her hand, revealing it was a plastic spider all along.

I fix my collar and scoff. "Yeah, at the very least you could have let me walk by myself, you dragging me somewhere would ruin my cool and threatening vibe."

She grimaces and spins around, and pounds the side of her fists on my chest, like a small child trying to beat up their father... in a really annoyed manner. "YOU PRICK!"

I mean, she is holding back quite a bit so it only really stings, but still...

I cough up blood.

"OMYGOSH LU! I AM SO SORRY! WE NEED TO GET YOU TO A HOSPIT-"

"It's just ketchup~" I hum as I wipe my mouth with a smirk and hold my hand near her face, showing that it is, in fact, ketchup.

Her bangs cover her eyes as her hands twitch slightly.

"Honestly, you are too easy Mittelt~" I hum as I pull a napkin from my sleeve and wipe my mouth and hand.

She brings back a hand and gut punches me, knocking the air out of my lungs, a small blast of wind flowing behind me as the force of her attack travels completely through me. "Grk-"

"Oooh." I wheeze as I hunch over slightly. "Yeah. I probably deserved that."

"Come on, you bastard." Mittelt scoffs. "We are going to see the heiresses."

"Fiiiine, fiiine." I sigh after I get my breath back while rubbing my stomach. "Hn, that's going to bruise isn't it?"

"You're such an asshole, honestly." Mittelt sighs as she turns around and begins walking back towards Kuoh Academy as I follow along with a hand in my pocket, the other holding my bag.

* * *

I stare boredly past the gate. "You sure you want to do this?"

"Yeah, I sort of have to..." Mittelt scoffs as she brushes one of her hairs off her black long-sleeved shirt.

She unleashes a bit of her magic power, probably causing every devil in that school to freak the fuck out.

It takes about a minute but eventually I see the head of the student council walking out with her vice president.

She glances at me briefly, uttering a 'hn' before looking down to Mittelt who covers her mouth as she lets out a small yawn.

She refocuses on the short haired girl standing in front of us. "You are Sona Sitri, correct?"

"I am." The glasses wearing president of the student council slowly nods. "Why are you here."

"I request an audience with both yourself, and the Gremory." Mittelt announces. "I am here to speak about my current circumstances, as my superiors have decided to station me here in this town to prevent any other mishaps with rogue members of our faction."

"Hn." Sona hums and quirks an eyebrow. "I suppose I will agree to this, you two please come with me, I will send one of my peerage to retrieve Rias."

We silently walk into the student council room, no real opposition as most people have already left by now.

Sona glances over towards a white-haired girl near the edge of the room. "Momo, would you please bring Rias here?"

The white-haired girl simply nods once as disappears out the door, walking past us.

Sona walks around her desk and laces her fingers together. "Would either of you care for a game of chess while we wait?"

Mittelt raises an eyebrow. "You are awfully calm in my presence..."

"Oh, no, I just know exactly who you are, you are a peace keeper under Azazel's command... numerous vicious threats to humans, be it stray devils or fallen, vampires, or even werewolves have been slain by you." The glasses wearing devil responds as she sets up her chess set. "Honestly, I am grateful for any work you have done clearing out any threats in this town, such as the stray devil Viser and the fallen angels in the abandoned church."

I watch as she finally sets up the pieces. "Hn, sure, I could go for a game."

* * *

"W-What the hell?!" Sona hisses, completely off guard as this game against what she presumed to be a complete armature took a sudden turn about seventy five percent of the way through, her king piece locked into a checkmate by my rook, knight and queen.

She freezes as her own queen- a person, not chess piece- watches on in awe.

"W-What?" She hisses. "I-I lost? How?!"

"Alright, I'm gonna be real with you, I had no idea what was going on this entire time and I was just fucking around after you told me what each piece does."

"W-WHAT?!" Sona exclaims, losing her cool for the first time I have ever seen.

I look over to Mittelt and look back with a slightly smug smile that is broken up by my hand as I suppress a yawn. "So, like, where is the Gremory girl, am I right? I mean... I have other things to do today."

The door opens, revealing Rias Gremory flanked by 'the second big sister of kuoh' and that white-haired girl that was sent to get her.

The black haired Akeno seems to gaze at Mittelt and scowl, before replacing it with an indifferent smile.

"Well, this is certainly surprising..." Rias mutters. "For what reason does a fallen like yourself have for speaking with devils?"

Mittelt rolls her eyes. "I HATE political word games, it annoys me to no end when people act all hoity-toity and speak regally, so I am going to lay out some things as quickly and efficiently as possible, One, I have removed four rogue fallen angels from around your town along with the stray devil known as 'Viser'- apparently-" she scoffs that last word under her breath. "Two, I have been stationed here by Azazel in order to prevent any more rogue agents from stepping foot in this town, if either of you don't like it, that's a shame, because he has already gone straight to Maou Leviathan and Maou Lucifer and they both have approved, and Third..."

She points to me as she looks dead ahead at Sona. "Can you put this fucking idiot in the occult research club please?!"

"Wait what?! WHY?!" I ask. "You total bitch!"

"I'm still mad about the ketchup thing!" She shouts back.

"IT WAS LITERALLY AN HOUR AGO! GET OVER IT!" I respond

"YOU ACTED LIKE I LITERALLY IMPAILED YOU, YOU BASTARD! I AM GOING TO MAKE YOUR LIFE AS INCONVENIENT AS FUCKING POSSIBLE SO TAKE YOUR GOD DAMN PUNISHMENT LIKE A MAN!"

The devils flinch at _his _name.

"BUT WHY?!"

"Why not?! The Gremory can't be THAAAT bad, can she?"

"…" Rias, and Akeno are silent at this seemingly random outburst while Sona and her queen, Tsubaki are both silent for another reason... particularly that last sentence.

"Are you two dating?" The white-haired bishop of Sitri blinks as she looks between the two of us from the back of the room.

"NO!" "Nope." Mittelt and I shout/say at the same time.

The girl simply smiles and covers her mouth with her hand. "you would make a good couple."

"…"

I wordlessly stand up, walk over to the window, open it, utter a "I'm leaving now." then I flop outside... of the third story window... meh, I have survived longer falls~ easy peasy~

I hear Mittelt utter a goodbye before she lands beside me in a crouch.

"Tch... damn durable bodies... I wish I could leap out of windows without worrying about my knees." I scoff.

"Then stop jumping out of windows then, dumbass." Mittelt snorts.

"No can do." I shrug. "I would rather break my knees than waste a good minute or two exiting the room, walking down the hall, going down two flights of stairs, then down another hallway, past the lockers, and only then am I able to walk outside... it's just not efficient, Milly."

"…"

"Soooo, what's with you sounding so appalled at the idea of dating me, huh?" I ask.

"Lu I will literally fly back up there, exposing the supernatural to every single person still around here, and fucking ask them to give add you to the student council."

"I mean, I'm just saying, I'm a pretty cool dude, and you check several of my boxes, though I mean the 'I know you from Uratama' one is a pretty big one considering the fact you aren't a hooker or drug addict right now."

"I swear to-" she cuts off her growl with a sharp inhale. "Mn, I don't feel strongly one way or the other."

"Cool." I shrug. "Saw a chance and I took it."

We silently walk away from the school for a while.

"Lu, we literally met YESTERDAY, you seriously can't be considering dating me after literally a day." Mittelt sighs. "Besides, I can't, I have obligations in the Grigori."

"One, I am horribly attention-starved for anyone of the opposite gender, as, literally every female my age- or looked my age- that I found generally attractive in Uratama was either a druggie, hooker, or violent psychopath who could dent steel beams with an aluminum bat, so you can see why I never dated, and two, aren't you more or less 'permanently' stationed here? Wouldn't just sitting in your room all day get really fucking boring?"

"You... have a really fucked up childhood..." Mittelt mutters before letting out another sigh. "I'll think about it, you prick, but, you know, it might help if you tell me the things you like about me... because... well, I need a bit of an ego boost~"

"Personality, as you are a sassy bitch most of the time and we have good banter, the whole childhood thing, and you are honestly... sort of cute... hn... to be honest, though, I only really needed those three reasons."

She is slowly turning red.

"Are you... blushing, Milly?"

"No!" She scoffs. "Shut up!"

"Welp... today has been tiring... I somehow beat a devil at chess- and I know fuck all about chess- and school is just draining in general... so I am going to go home and go to bed~" I hum, only to pause as I realize something. "Hey Milly, where exactly did that nun chick go?"

"Her? Hn... I got her a place to stay in Kuoh, so she is around here somewhere..." She mutters.

I look to the side to see an awkward meeting of Issei and said nun chick beside a fountain. "Oh. There she is..."

"Oh, it looks like the devils revived that perv..." Mittelt scoffs. "According to the nun's story, while we were gathering your friends and the janitor to go to the church, Kalawarner showed up and killed the boy before kidnapping her and transporting her to the church where they were trying to take out her sacred gear... it was actually partially taken out, so I... don't see her living much longer..."

"It will work itself out." I yawn as I feel another wave of drowsiness hit me. "Cant your people make her an android or something? Rebind her sacred gear? Enchant her body with plus one?"

"No, we cant." Mittelt sighs again. "At most, she has a month... at least... well, she could die right this second, maybe tomorrow, the next day, or even at the end of the weak... at least it will be a peaceful death... nothing like what she would have felt if they actually succeeded in removing it."

"Ah, so the devils are probably going to revive her, then." I hum.

"Hn, that good, I suppose, she seems quite smitten with the pervert... god knows why... maybe she will be happy." She smiles.

"Ooooh? Does Milly have a soft side?"

She simply scoffs and brushes a strand of hair out of her face. "Shut it, you bastard."

"Heh." I chuckle as I continue on my way back to my one true calling... the couch.

* * *

**Hi~ it is I! Guy! And I am here to say that I am really fucking tired as I finish this chapter, I will go over it a bit in the morning before I post this, but there might be some mistakes...**

**Annnyways, here's a guest review that I feel like responding to as he isn't the first (And definitely not the last) person to say this)~**

**Guest Review:**

**Guest 001: "Yeah can you update your other fics instead of this OC ridden shit, you have at least to other dxd fics that are a million times better than this shit."**

**.**

**Alright, I could go on a couple paragraph rant about how most of the ocs are throw away villain 'ocs' with only four of them being actually plot relevant, but no, I am just going to say this: I am not normally a spiteful person, I wright fanfictions for fun, and it is indeed fun, I like to see the reactions of people who view this world I created and enjoy reading their thoughts on the matter, but comments like this on the other hand make me honestly just want to NOT update my other stories- and even then, the only one I would even consider updating would be Codex of the universe, both of the other dxd fics are dead, completely and utterly dead. With no hope of revival. You people commenting like this really accomplish nothing other than making me slightly miffed, please just don't turn a fun pastime into something that I hate. **

**But can we just be real for a sec, why the actual hell are you complaining about 'oc ridden shit' when just under the summary, right in 'characters' it has *OC*, like, there are what? THOUSANDS OF DXD CHARACTERS, yet 4 plot relevant ones are suddenly 'too much'? ISSEI HAS LIKE A HAREM OF THIRTY GIRLS YET YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT FOUR FUCKING OCS?! Hn, I'm going into the Oc rant, so I am going to stop...**

**Tldr: Dxd is a CURSED fandom and everyone reading and creating content for it are degenerates... the lore is something I could be proud about and watch in front of my family, but they had to add *TITS* man... fucking *TITS* everywhere you look. **

**I'm rambling now.**

**Ill see everyone in the future~**


	7. Chapter 7

**I do not own Dxd, Only the oc and any 'new' sacred gear I have created.**

"Speech"

'Thought'

**"Powerful Entities Talking"** (Such as dragons and angry gods who are shouting)

**[Boost]: Ddraig**

**{Divide} Albion**

* * *

I let out a slightly annoyed scoff as I take a long drink from my juice box, glancing around to Rias, her Queen, Akeno, the Rook, Koneko, and Sakuya Izayoi herself... who is gazing at me confusedly, probably wondering why a human is hanging around with a bunch of devils.

I abruptly point forwards. "Are you my fucking mom?"

She appears briefly taken aback by my seemingly random question and loses her cold expression for just a moment, as it is replaced by utter confusion. "Wh- No I am not."

"Then stop staring at me, it's fucking creepy!" I scoff, muttering a 'Fucking Sakuya Izayois' under my breath.

It has been about a month since good ol Milly forcibly made me join this club for the whole 'you destroyed all of my internal organs with your punches' prank... and honestly... I am fucking dead inside.

Rias keeps fucking asking me to be her rook or knight at every possible moment and I am slowly dying inside as she blatantly jojokes at me from across the room. I mean, she has been a bit more absent minded the past week or so, so that has been a nice relaxing time.

I, am not the only new member to the occult research club apparently, as she revived Issei as one of her pawns and Asia- the nun girl who I now know the name of- as her bishop.

The maid glares at me for a moment, then glances towards Rias, and in that moment, I use shadowbox to replace my juicebox with a tea cup and saucer which I take sip from as she looks back to me.

Her eyes widen for a moment as she blinks, seemingly deciding if I am actually real at all.

Annnyways, I have been hanging around Mittelt more than my bros this past month, so I should really fix that... maybe go out and blow up a car or something... we aren't in constant danger anymore, so I guess our gang is just drifting apart...

Issei, Kiba and Asia seem to arrive, and just as Issei begins to speak to Rias, a magic circle flashes to life in the corner of the room.

I hide my unimpressed frown with the teacup, doing my best Kirito impression as I glace out of the corner of my eye.

"Ah... it has been ages since Riser has graced the human realm with his presence." A deep and douchey sounding voice announces as a blond man in a red suit appears with a flash, flanked by a shorter blond girl with spiral drill hair, wearing a pink dress, and a taller purple haired woman wearing a lavender dress and white cloak with black shoulder pads, in her hand is a massive magic staff, presumably for magic.

"Go back, we don't want you here." I scoff into the teacup.

He smiles and either doesn't hear me, or acts like he doesn't. "It is good to see you, my dear Rias~"

"Wait... 'Dear Rias'?" Issei asks.

"Oh? Did you not tell your peerage about me, my dear?"

I put my tea cup and saucer down.

"This is-" Sakuya Izayoi begins to say something before I cut her off.

"No, no, let my analytical mind take a crack at this." I hum as I briefly glance up and down the man. "Your name is Riser-" I spy a flaming bird on his cufflinks. "Pheonix... judging by your dramatic entrance and your lavish clothes, you are a high-class devil, much like Rias... the way you call Rias your 'dear' suggests that you much closer than just acquaintances, perhaps you are dating, married, or engaged, but, judging by Rias's expression of distain, I deduce that it is more of a one-sided agreement, perhaps an arranged marriage between your families, as for your clan trait, as soon as you stepped into this room, I have been smelling a faint aroma of a camp fire, possibly roasted pistachios, now, that might have been caused by your heated entrance, but I am willing to bet that you... have near complete mastery of fire and wind, as a gust of air blew out all the flames from your entrance before they could burn anything, and, finally, if your name is indeed correct, powerful regeneration capabilities..."

"Am I right?" I smirk as I ignore Issei shriek 'MARRIED?!'.

"Also, your next line is 'W-What?! H-how did you tell all that from the brief moments that we have met?!' To you~"

"W-What?! H-how did you tell all that from the brief moments that we- ***Gasp***"

Everyone in the room seems to pause as I continue grinning.

"And next you are going to say, 'Oh, does the human think he is funny?' To you~"

"Oh? Does the human think he is funn-" Riser stops himself and inhales deeply, then looks over to Rias. "So I see that you have told at least one of your servants about me, dear~"

"No, she hasn't." I scoff. "What do you take me for?"

"Silence _human_." He growls. "Riser grows tired of your voice... it would be in your best interest to stop talking."

"This is Riser Phenex, as the human deduced, he is a high-class devil and also Rias' fiancé." Maid-sama announces.

"Peh!" I laugh. "One last question... why is she looking at me like that?"

I point to what I presume to be his sister, who is staring at me with excitement, joy, awe, and that better not be fucking Arousal or I swear to- anyways, she is staring at me with sparkly eyes and is covering her mouth with both hands to- if I had to guess- suppress her fangirl squeals which Is now a quiet squeak that could easily be lost in the ambiance of the room.

Riser looks like he is about to snap for a moment, only to get slightly confused and look back to his sister.

"Oh no..." He sighs.

The purple haired girl from before looks down at the drill haired blond in confusion and waves a hand in front of her face, only to get no reaction.

* * *

"The tea prepared by my Rias' queen is most delicious~" Riser hums as he toys with Rias' hair with one hand.

Akeno bows slightly. "Thank you for the complement, sir."

She silently walks across the clubroom where she lays down the tray she was holding.

I glance to my left to see Drill girl- not staring at me like she was, but still glancing at me every now and then with a blush.

Rias stands up, bringing my attention back to her and Riser. "That's enough Riser... I have no intention of EVER marrying you!"

The blond to my left frowns slightly as the purple haired woman who is sitting to the right of Riser scoffs.

"But my darling, with your family's current circumstances, you shouldn't be so selfish, after all-"

"Don't you dare bring my family's name into this Riser." Rias growls. "I will not bring my family to ruin, and I have no intention of denying your right to our name, however, let me be clear, my husband will be my own choice."

"So, you are basically denying his right to your name?" I ask with a deadpan.

"Remember, it is imperative that devils remain pureblooded, my dear, we are still recovering our numbers from the last war..." Blond prick hums again. "Riser knows that both your father and Sirzechs made this arrangement with the fate of devilkind in mind."

"My father, my brother, and my entire clan made this decision because they are in too great a rush... for the final time, Riser, I will not marry you." The red head scowls.

Riser cups her chin and looks into her eyes with a smug smirk. "For the final time, Riser bears the reputation of the house of Phenex, besmirching our good name is unacceptable."

"Hey!" Issei growls as he takes a step forward.

"Riser doesn't care if he has to incinerate everyone in this room, you WILL-***Grk-***" he goes flying over the back of the couch as my fist comes into contact with his cheek.

"I don't take threats on my life very kindly." I growl.

The purple haired woman seemingly teleports behind me with her increased speed, she is probably his queen, but I duck her staff as she tries to hit me on the back of the head with it.

She hops back with a scowl as I attempt to elbow her, but she suddenly stumbles backwards as a black vine grabs her ankle mid-jump.

As I spin around my fist comes into contact with her face causing her to stumble backwards and cup her cheek which is slowly reddening and let out a fairly loud hiss of pain.

"YOU HUMAN WELP!" Riser roars as fire spews from his back and he leaps cleanly over the couch, preparing to crush my skull with his fist.

He stops as the barrel of a tommygun presses against his throat.

"Riser Phenex... I have only been in your presence for an hour, but I can undoubtedly say that I _hate_ you, you are an arrogant, womanizing piece of trash and I can't stand scummy bastards like you!" I glance over my shoulder. "I, am not a good person, I hurt people... probably more than I have to, but the one thing I absolutely loathe is arrogant fuckers like you who think they are invincible because they have a little power, that they own the world just because they are born more fortunate than others, easily disregarding all sense of decency and sacrificing others in pursuit of what they want, be it a woman, a town, or even chaos itself... now, I have a question for you... if we fight... are you willing to face your luck against my own?"

Riser lets out a low growl and looks like he is about to attack, my index finger twitching in anticipation as the purple haired woman points the staff towards me, a small bead of fire appearing at the tip, Rias' peerage getting into combat positions as well, Kiba drawing a sword, Koneko raising her fists, Issei raising his gauntlet, Asia hiding behind Issei, a couple sparks crackling through the air around Akeno's hand, and finally an Aura of malice forming around Rias as she raises a hand, palm held outwards towards the side of Riser's head, Drill girl muttering about how cool I am...

**"That's enough."**

Everyone pauses as the temperature of the room drops a good ten degrees.

"…"

Issei coughs in the background, breaking the tension.

I scoff as I toss the gun over my shoulder and walk away. "Fine then, this is boring, I'm leaving... why don't you devils have a death battle or something to decide who is right? I don't fucking care anymore."

I let out a quiet yawn then sit down where I was before, Blond girl trying desperately to silently get my attention in any way barring actually touching me.

'probability that I will have a chance to wipe that fucker's smug grin off his face?'

**Yes 23.5% **  
**No 76.5%**

'let's just...'

**Yes 51.4% **  
**No 48.6%**

'I don't think I can actually do any more without passing out... meh... I'll do it tomorro-'

'Unless...'

'hn... that... might work...'

The maid folds her hands behind her back. "Lord Riser, Lady Rias, as you know, I am here by order of Sirzechs, so that means that there will be no disruptions of peace past what has already occurred."

"Hn..." The blond prick grunts. "When told something so ominous by one who is known by the 'Ultimate Queen', even Riser can become fearful."

"Stop talking in third person, you fucking mongoloid, you are making my braincells commit suicide." I scoff as I cross my arms.

The maid shoots me a glare. "My master predicted that there would be a conflict of some sort... as such, he has assigned me a last resort should communication breakdown."

"Yes, of course he did..." Rias sighs. "Would you care to be a little more specific?"

"If my lady chooses to put her personal preferences above her family, she is to settle this in a rating game against lord Riser."

I tune out Issei's question to Akeno, as I already know fully well what a rating game is, it was actually one of the first things Mittelt told me about devil culture.

"Well, Riser finds that amusing as he has already played through numerous rating games and scored several wins for himself~" smug prick smugly smuggs "Unfortunately, my inexperienced bride has failed to even qualify for an official game~"

"Bitch, you look like you are more than double your actual age... like how the fuck do you get wrinkles as a dude at like the age of twenty?"

"Rias, I have to ask, are these all of your servants?" Riser hums.

"And what if they are?" Rias growls.

Riser smirks and snaps once, creating a red magic circle, summoning thirteen more girls from it with a blast of fire. "Riser has fifteen pieces... in other words, I have a complete set."

"F-fifteen... and they're all hot as hell!" Issei gasps. "D-Damnit! Issei hates him so much!"

"A complete set of incomitance and little girls, you complete pedophile." I scoff. "Your next line is 'Human, you are beginning to irk me...' to you."

"Human you are beginning to irk me..."

Issei begins sobbing somewhere behind me. "Why can't I be this guuuuy!"

"Koneko." I deadpan.

***Crunch***

"MY SHIN! IT SHOULDN'T BEND THAT WAY!"

"oh?" I hum as prop my head with my arm with a slightly smug grin. "Aren't you surprised that I predicted what you would say next?"

Riser scowls slightly and clenches his fist.

I point to my cheek. "Wooow~ you look mad, why don't you come on over here and punch me, I'll even give you a free shot~"

He tenses, eyebrow twitching.

"But first, you should probably check your pocket, it's obvious that an incompetent fool like you would fail to notice, but I pickpocketed something that looks preeety important while you were busy being punched in your bitch face~" I hum.

He pauses and reaches into his pocket, only to recoil and let out a hiss of pain as a silver object on a small necklace chain tumbles out of his pocket as he pulls it out, revealing a cross. "YOU HUMAN WELP! A CROSS?! HOW DARE YOU! MIRA SHOW THIS FILTH HIS PLACE."

"Are you really sending a little girl after me? What, are you scared that I would kick your ass so hard your vertebrae would pop out of your mouth one by one like a fucking pez dispenser?" I scoff as I push off the couch and watch as a short loli with blue hair shaped sort of like an X blurs forwards out of the group of girls.

I duck under a roundhouse kick, then barely bend backwards out of the way of her blunted staff as she lands with a small twirl.

She stabs the end forwards much like a spear, but I deflect it around me with my left forearm and catch her follow-up punch with a single hand.

***Crack***

"Oh? Did she break your hand?" Riser smugly hums.

The girl recoils, drops her staff and screams, clutching the hand she punched with at the wrist with her other hand, shards of glass imbedded in her knuckles and her skin smoking. "AAAAAGH!"

"She broke something..." I scoff. "Just go back over there with your FRIENDS!"

With the final word I punt her across the room where she tumbles to a stop at the foot of the horde of women who are all looking particularly murderous while a woman in robes crouching next to the blue haired girl. "Mira you are going to be fine; a little holy water didn't hurt anyone... much..."

A warm blue glow comes from her hands and the shards of glass are removed from her hand and water is pulled off her skin and from the wounds.

Riser lets out a low growl.

"Riser phenix... let me make something very clear before you try to attack me again... do you own this city?"

"…"

"No, you don't, yet you still brought not only yourself, but you also brought your entire peerage to flex on a little girl who- is quite annoying- but that isn't the point... did you get permission to be here? From the way Rias reacted at the way you showed up, she didn't know you would be here, and I doubt that bitch from the student council would have just 'forgotten' to tell what I assume to be her best friend- which I am assuming at the fact that she does all the paperwork and tolerates Red over here weebing it up over here doing whatever the hell she pleases. So, I am going to say that you have shown up without announcing yourself purely to be a dick, not to mention the blatant stalking via your familiar which I saw outside the window literally every. Single. Day. Last week." I rant. "So, my point is this: you are a guest here, yet you have the AUDACITY to not only attack a human under the protection of TWO heiresses- admittedly not unprovoked, because, yes, I am a bastard- yet you also threatened to kill all of her peerage in the presence of her BROTHER'S QUEEN! Honestly you are just a walking mess of stupid actions and smugness, aren't you? You think you are untouchable just because you heal quick? You are just a pathetic weakling who relies on a simple gimmick to survive."

"honestly, that is a little rich coming from me considering I base my entire life on an anime character, but..." I let out a scoff. "Honestly, I, a normal human could absolutely demolish you in a fight."

The temperature of this room has been steadily rising for the past minute, now it is sitting near a nice, horribly annoying, eighty-five.

"So, why don't you take your peerage of little shits, and get the fuck out of here? Have your death battle with Rias in two weeks or so, I mean, fair is fair, right? She is missing, what? One bishop, one rook, one knight, and seven pawns? And I don't know much about chess, but I know rooks, bishops, and knights are op as hell, so she is clearly at an even larger disadvantage, wouldn't it be so much sweeter to crush her after giving her two weeks to get her hopes up and train? "

The temperature suddenly stops Risering as the smug bastard himself smirks. "Human, you are irksome, and one day... I will kill you myself for what you did to my adorable Mira, but... you made a good point..."

"I could ruin you with four words." I scoff.

"Riser will give you, my beautiful Rias two weeks to train~ make what you can of your last days without being my bride!" He laughs. "Ravel."

The girl beside me flinches as her name is suddenly called.

"We are leaving. Get away from that _filth_"

"O-Okay!" She exclaims as she quickly gets up and speed walks over towards the group of girls.

The purple haired woman wraps her arms around Riser and kisses his cheek as they disappear.

"Weeeelll I'm bored now~" I hum as I get up. "Heeeey Sakuya Izayoi, can I talk to you for a minute? Like... outside?"

* * *

'wow... I am sort of surprised I managed to pull that off.'

I managed to convince her to inform her boss that this would be a good opportunity to test 'his' new idea of a free-for-all variant of a Rating game, which he plans to base a tournament around, the winner gaining a favor from the satans, but in this case, it's just to decide the fate of Rias Gremory.

I'm going to wait just a bit before I gather my team, considering the thing isn't even going to happen for two weeks, I plan to ask Zen, Wes, and Kohaku, but not Mittelt as she would probably FREAK THE FUCK OUT at the notion of me exposing myself to all of the devils who might be watching the rating game.

I open the door. "Milly~ I'm back from the hellscape~"

"Oh, there's my favorite pillow." She scoffs. "I was wondering where it went, I normally find it by now."

"…"

"To be clear, yes, I was talking about how you are normally here a lot earlier today, what happened?" She clarifies.

"Ah." I blink as I tilt my head. "Weeeell, not much actually, just normal club stuff, figuring out how to train my familiar..."

I look over towards the German shepherd sized lizard with two heads, each with a long neck and two short and stubby horns, and a long tail that splits into two near the end.

"I have no idea how the actual FUCK you managed that..." Mittelt mutters. "How did you manage to find a good-natured HYDRA?!"

"Asspull." I hum as I hop over the back of the couch and let her lean on my shoulder.

If you couldn't guess by this point, yes, we are dating, we have been for like three weeks now.

I pat my legs. "Come here, Hydranoid."

"I can't believe you named him that..." She sighs as the miniaturized hydra crawls over to the couch and lays its heads in my lap allowing me to gently pet its heads.

Hydranoid is... fairly special... he is probably the only 'Good' hydra that has EVER existed... created by my powers when I hit him on the heads with a very big rock... the form he takes now is just a shrunken form he takes so he can fit in Mittelt's- and I guess it is technically mine now that I sort of live with her- house. Normally, he, even as a juvenile, has heads the size of car tires and is a little more than twenty-five feet long, but like this, he is a nice huggable size.

"I can't believe you knew about Bakugan before I had to force you to start watching animes." I shoot back.

"H-Hey, it was one of the only things on Tv back when I still lived with my dad." She pouts.

"Eh, I have seen bits and pieces here and there, I remember season four being confusing as FUCK like they just decided, hey, drago has a gun, bakugan can fuse now, and there are giant mechs, but don't let that be confused with the giant mechs that your bakugan can get inside~ that in and of itself is enough content for two seasons MINIMUM, possibly three if they went the whole 'Bakugan now can use tanks and airplanes route', yet they forced all of that down into like forty episodes... if I remember correctly, didn't they have that bit where the giant mechs that you could enter was fighting in the real world? I think I remember that they were fighting in the real world at some point, and I don't mean Season one..."

"Lu, you are going on an anime tangent." Mittelt deadpans.

"Ah, sorry about that." I shyly and scratch the back of my head. "I guess it is sort of like that for all things really, did you hear about how pokemon are going to be getting this new thing called 'mega evolution'? And even with my luck there is no possible way I could learn how to play Yugioh at this point, it has, what, five series, each adding a new feature that is completely different from the last?-"

"Lu."

"Right, right, I'm done." I hum. "So, what's on the agenda today? We caught up with jojos, should we finish the first season of digimon? Maybe try Sao season two? Hn, but I heard the second season was shitty... hmmm... we could always start on Fairytail, it has nearly two hundred episodes or so, hmmm..."

"We could always try and tackle one piece?" Mittelt suggests.

"Hn... we have been avoiding that one, haven't we?" I mutter. "Sure, let's get these five hundred plus episodes over with."

She leans her head against my shoulder. "Alrighty then, let's do this then~"

And thus, I sat with a beast with venom so vile, it could kill a high class devil in seconds... and Hydranoid was there too~ HAH! Nah, I was actually talking about my pet hydra... Mittelt could probably kill a high-class devil in seconds as well, but... eh... she has a racial advantage.

* * *

**Meanwhile~**

"Hey, Wes, you want to go get some chicken nuggets? I got a coupon~"

"Sure, sounds nice..." The blond shota hums as he stands up.

They both silently walk down the sidewalk for a good five or so minute.

"Hey, Zen..." Wes begins as he blankly looks over to his black-haired older brother figure. "I miss Lu..."

"I do too." The dark-haired prince of Kuoh sighs. "But, he has a girlfriend now, and I can understand why he would decide to spend time with her over us, he wasn't able to have anything like that back at Uratama and well, he probably doesn't want to lose it... it certainly doesn't help that the people at school constantly shove him away from us either... that was probably the small fracture that started everything."

"Mn... yeah..." The blond sighs as he shakes his head. "But did he really have to move out? That... sort of hurt, you know?"

"Yeah, it di-" he is cut off by the sound of someone dragging a pipe or something down a fence.

Zen shivers and blankly gazes off into the distance like he is having a Nam flashback.

He blinks it off and turns to look at Wes. "Let's go get that food, yeah?"

He turns around and begins to walk again, but about thirty feet ahead, is a girl, maybe seventeen with shoulder length black hair, wearing a red turtleneck and simple grey sweatpants, her eyes have red iris with black slightly heart shaped pupils, she has a slightly sadistic and evil grin, showing off a couple pearly white teeth. "Ooooh, looks like I finally found you little shits~ you thought YOU could run from _ME_?! now, where is little ol lucy-lu?"

Zen and Wes slowly gape and take a shaky step back as the girl's voice shifts into an angry growl

_**"I have been meaning to pay him back for leaving me handcuffed to the roof of that warehouse."**_

Zen and Wes simply do what is acceptable at this point... they both point at her and...

""AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-""

Do that...

* * *

**You know, I have quite a few fanfics I will probably never relase, I write the ideas then decide 'huh... this is shit' about 10k words in, that rwby D&d fic is probably never happening, I decided that there are WAAY too many dice rolls in the middle of combat **

**You know what? Ill make a story where I dump all my oneshots, and if people like them enough I will try to make them into real stories... **

**Some of my time has also been being taken up by a new fic I am working on which is basically 'What would happen if a guy EVERYONE could understand (A fucking fat neet with no girlfriend and an unhealthy lifestyle) gets fucking plastered on the hood of a car and gets the chance to reincarnate into another universe with special powers! Then he just chooses the stand [The World] from jojo's bizarre adventure, and goes to Rwby universe purely for 'waifuz' not to save the world, not to beat salem, not to save Summer, but to seduce several of the wonderful waifus of Remnant... though I mean, he will be probably the most overpowered character in the series besides the writers who pull a fucking JK Rowling and decide to infect literally all the main characters with 'the gay' to appease their rabid fanbase.**

**(Nothing against gays, but in the early seasons they set up Blake and Sun to be a couple then through it in the trash, now with Qrow throwing lusty eyes at guy with a good luck semblance I am about to fucking kill myself)**

**Tldr: the gays are a probl- no, not that- *AHEM* if you want gay characters, that's fine, but don't shove them where they aren't needed or drastically change a character just to appease your fanbase. That makes me angy.**

**I cant believe I had to write two clarifications for that last joke I made, but I guess I must, because on one of my other stories I got hate reviews for a character (An edgy like 13 year old boy) jokingly calling a character a faggit (As in 'Get rekt faggit') in relation to him not being able to capture him because of his overpowered portal ability... (Portalz is dead btw) **

**ANYWAYS, I haven't even begun on chapter 8 so I am feeling the burn! But I know what I want to do with the Riser arc so it should be fine... I'm just sort of lazy...**

**See you all later~**


	8. Chapter 8

**I do not own Dxd, Only the oc and any 'new' sacred gear I have created.**

"Speech"

'Thought'

**"Powerful Entities Talking"** (Such as dragons and angry gods who are shouting)

**[Boost]: Ddraig**

**{Divide} Albion**

* * *

_I cross my arms slightly as I walk through the open door in front of me, Wes and Zen trailing behind me as they climb up the stairs as well._

_"So, you have finally made it hn, Lucas, 'the beast'."_

_I glance across the roof, to see a boy in black, wearing red lensed sunglasses, short dark black hair being ruffled by the wind passing around us._

_He sits in throne of broken concrete, several pieces of assorted graffiti mark the stones, each incomplete as they seem to have been torn apart in the throne's making, behind him are dozens of tvs, those old ones that are more like a box than a rectangle and weigh like fifty points, most with broken screens and deformed edges._

_"Now, where are your friends?" The man grins._

_"Down stairs fighting off your cronies." I scoff._

_"Oh, then we have a couple minutes, then..." He smirks. "You know, I like you, Lucas."_

_"I don't swing that way." I remark._

_"No, I mean, you have made your own strength, you don't rely on a tool or drug to get as strong as you are... and that makes you interesting..." He states while propping his head up with one hand. "So I will give you this one chance..."_

_"Join me, and I can make all of your dreams come true, what is it you desire? Money? Power? Women? Just join me and all of it can be yours! With your strength, we will be all but unstoppable, all of Uratama will fall to us!"_

_"What do I desire?" I ask._

_I tilt my head to the side and scratch my jaw. "Hn... well, I want one thing..."_

_"Oh? And what is it that you want?"_

_"I want you, dead." I grin as I point forwards. "WES!"_

_My first three words catch him off guard for a moment, then he processes the fourth and widens his eyes as I shout Wes' name._

_His hairs rise for a moment and he looks up, just as a new figure leaps on top of his throne and raises a bat to the sky, then a bolt of lightning crashes into the bat and fizzles out against it._

_"Wait... what?" I whisper._

_The girl above him lets out a scoff and hops down, over the boy and holds the bat over her shoulder with one hand._

_"Pauline..." He gasps, before quickly regaining his composure._

_"Hn, well, I expected this answer..." He shakes his head with a small smile. "Shame, a real shame..."_

_"Pauline... kill him."_

_"Whatever you say Akisame." The girl sighs as Wes walks up beside me, sparking katana in hand._

_She turns to look at us with a savage grin, oh wow, you both are quite cute, how old are you again?"_

_"L-Lu" Wes whispers at me. "She scares me."_

_"Hn, well, this seems to be our final battle, it would be fitting for just a little music for this occasion, no?" Akisame asks with a grin._

_A tv lights up behind him, but Pauline stomps one, sending a pebble up into the air, then smashes her bat into it with a back handed swing, sending the pebble careening through the screen of the tv. "No music! I want to hear it when their hope of beating me shatters!"_

_"Okay, yeah, she scares me too, Wes..." I whisper under my breath, knowing full well Wes hears me._

_With a single step forwards, she charges, appears almost as a blur, raising her bat above her head with one hand, which she slams on the ground with a loud ***CRACK* **as Wes and I dive to the opposite sides..._

_A large hole, about five feet wide, is punched through the warehouse, showing the bloody battlefield about thirty feet below on the ground floor._

_"Pauline, no more breaking our warehouse... you'll cripple the structural integrity."_

_She glares lightly behind her only to catch a foot to the stomach as Zen joins the battle, using her as a springboard to get himself back over the hole._

_"You little SHIT!" She roars as she lunges forwards again, only to stop and raise her bat to shield her face as a red liquid-slash-gas squirts out of my shadow which is flowing around me like a cheap dragon ball z imitation._

_Then she bats away two metal prongs that also shoot out of my shadow where they imbed into the concrete some distance away and crackle._

_***CRANG***_

_She shifts her grip and blocks a slash from Wes' katana with the end of her bat, then swings it around, striking him in the temple and sending him rolling across the rooftop. "WES!"_

_I charge forwards, ducking under a swipe and sweeping one of her legs out from under her, causing her to fall backwards only to stop as she uses her bat as almost an extended limb to hit the roof behind her and spring up into a downwards swing._

_I barely avoid her attack as Zen jumps in and lands a punch on the side of her face, sending her reeling._

_"Zen, go after the glasses bastard, I have her handled." I say with a large frown as the girl charges at us once more._

_"Right."_

_He runs past her as she widens her eyes and looks around, seemingly losing the black haired brawler._

_"Hey bitch!" I shout with a grin as I motion at her in a 'come at me' way just as she trips and stumbles forwards, Zen's sacred gear making her feel woozy and making the world spin around her._

_My elbow collides with her face and sends her rolling towards the side of the building, a shadow following along after her as it quickly coils around her arms then breaks connection with me._

_"You are strong, lady." I growl. "I was forced to use my balance breaker on you..."_

_She quickly sits up and widens her eyes as she looks down at her hands, bat nowhere to be seen and black manacles covering her wrists and hands._

_"That is shadow creation... I can basically decide what effects an item I make can have, more versatile than Wes' blade creation, and only slightly stronger than Zen's sacred gear in a one on one... I'm talking about their non-balance breaker effects by the way, I can't even imagine what Zen's is going to be, and with Wes, he will probably just be able to put twenty million enchantments on his sword, but anyways, I'm rambling now... good thing too~"_

_I walk up to her as she grits her teeth and starts to lunge for me, but my foot collides with her chest mid-jump and sends her flying off the roof of the building where she gets hung up by a protruding piece of rebar about ten feet down._

_"The fact you didn't break out of them as soon as I put them on you basically sealed your fate... I made it so it absorbs your strength to make itself stronger, that's why you feel so weak right now."_

_I wink. "So, your sadistic and scary ass is going to be hanging there until someone gets you down... or you somehow climb back up here without the use of your hands."_

_I glance back to see Wes slowly standing up, wiping a small trail of blood out of his eye, then over to Zen who is just finishing up against Pauline's boss, a couple scratches here and there from the switchblade he is wielding, but otherwise no worse for wear._

_a small smile graces my features as a group of three fucking teenagers, the youngest barely even thirteen, kicked the absolute shit out of an entire gang spanning hundreds of people._

* * *

***CRANG-***

"FUCK! DID SHE GET STRONGER?!" Wes shrieks as his sword is stopped easily by her new bat, only sinking about a centimeter into it. "HOW THE HELL DID YOU EVEN STOP THAT! I MADE THIS BLADE HOTTER THAN A ONE THOUSAND DEGREE KNIFE!"

It's safe to say, that the road around us has turned into a war zone, large cracks and craters pock the pavement, a nearby car is cut in half and smoldering... while also being upside down... it is surprising that nobody has even showed up yet, people really should have tried to stop this 'bombing'- or whatever normal people will view this as- by now but no police, no firemen, not even a bystander recording all of this nonsense!

I quickly lunge forwards, activating my sacred gear, but she simply smirks and closes her eyes, then holds out a hand in my direction, blocking my punch easily, she brings the end of her bat towards my elbow, but Wes quickly hops in, stopping the metal end cap with his blade, burning his hand badly on the back of his blade as he is forced to use it to actually stop her attack.

"RAGH!" I roar as I strike forwards with my other hand, punching her right in the face with it and causing her head to snap back.

Her eyes snap open, red pupils dilating and glowing slightly as she grits her teeth and with her hand that is still grabbing my fist, slams me right into Wes and sends us both flying.

She slowly struts over to us, dragging her bat against the ground and creating a horrible scraping sound as she does so. "I was just going to break every bone in your bodies then drop you off at a hospital, but now you've PISSED ME OFF!"

Wes and I roll out of the way as she slams her bat down, creating a literal tremor that creates a crack in the ground that EATS a parked car, the car falling down into the five-foot deep gap before the world slams itself back together, sending scrap metal spraying out of the top.

Wes flings his katana at her, but she hits it with her bat and causes it to fly off in a random direction.

The girl lets out a sigh. "Welp, it was sort of fun chasing you bastards down, but... SAYONARA FUCKERS! SAY HELLO TO THAT BITCH AKISAME FOR ME... **IN HELL**!"

A fist collides with her face, sending her rolling across the broken pavement where she eventually falls unmoving.

I wince up towards the white-haired bastard himself as he blows on his knuckles and lets out a small laugh. "Well, that was easy~"

The blood in my eyes is making it slightly hard to see, but I know that voice. "L-Lu?"

Lucas squats down in front of me and lets out a scoff. "You fuckers seriously were having a hard time with her? I have been sitting on my ass for most of this month, am really tired from use of my powers today, and I STILL one shot her."

Wes shakes his head slightly, ears probably still ringing from the clap of the earth smashing together. "L-Lu is that you? Why are you here?"

"Ran out of snacks~" he shrugs. "Mittelt wanted some spicy ramen so I decided to go on a bit of a snack rush... I got Milk- because I got extra spicy just to fuck with her- white cheddar popcorn- hey, did you know that fucking milk chocolate pringles are a thing? I saw them at the store and thought it was an abomination, so I didn't buy it, but hey, the world's a crazy place am I right?"

"You're all fine, right?" He asks.

"Yeah." I nod. "We're good-"

"LU!" Wes screams.

"Hn?"

He turns to look over his shoulder.

***CRANG***

He is sent flying backwards where he crashes through the brick wall of a nearby building.

***Crash***

Then has about half of it caved in on him as the building crumbles, already horribly damaged from the previous battle that had taken place here, but the Lucas shaped hole being just enough to push it past the point of no return.

"Ahhhh..." Pauline sighs as she props her bat up on her shoulders. "That was cathartic as hell~"

***Crmmmgg***

**Bgm: We All Lift Together (From "Warframe")**

The rubble shifts slightly, causing the girl to flinch, a tune playing from Lucas's phone, typical... that bastard is dramatic as fuck. "W-wait what the hell?! He's still alive under there?! I split the earth with that sort of force... JUST HOW HARD IS HIS FUCKING HEAD?!"

A large chunk of rock is pushed aside revealing Lucas, a blank and slightly absent expression on his face as blood pours down it from his forehead.

He stands up and immediately falls down again, his arms flailing around as he tries to regain balance, but can't.

He blinks slowly then re-opens his eyes with renewed clarity, standing up once more, but this time without falling, blood still dripping down his forehead.

"H-How the hell are you still standing?!"

His eyes shift from their blue to a nice blood red.

"Do you know the term, 'Schrödinger's Cat'?" He asks.

Pauline raises her bat and opens her mouth but it cut off.

"If you put a cat in a box with a poorly sealed vial of poison gas, then close the box... is the cat alive, or dead..." He states as he walks closer. "The cat is neither alive, nor dead in the moment, it only lives or dies... when you open the box."

"WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?!" Pauline roars. "I CAVED IN YOUR **FUCKING** HEAD, MAN! CRAWL YOUR ASS BACK UNDER THAT FUCKING RUBBLE AND STAY DEAD!"

"I, function much like the cat, as I had left your vision, do my wounds even exist?" Lucas asks.

His shadow forms behind him, not like a normal vine or rope like he has recently been using, but a humanoid figure that pulls out a crochet needle and slings it at her with a small vacuum following behind it, basically making a loud thunderclap as the air rushes together.

She levels her bat and tires to deflect it, and she sort of succeeds, instead of hitting her in the sternum, it skims off the bat and sinks into her shoulder.

The black form disappears, Lapis' red eyes turning back to blue as he looks over his body. "Fuck... you did a real number on me, hm?"

Pauline drops her weapon, the bat clattering to the ground as she falls to her knees and clutches her shoulder.

Lucas puts his hands in his pockets and sighs, slowly walking over to the steadily paling girl. "Shit... I broke character, didn't I? Hn... well... it might take a minute to back into the Joseph Joestar mindset..."

The girl looks down at her arm in horror, her now black veins standing out against her near snow-white skin that is slowly traveling up her neck. "W-What did you do?"

Lucas runs a hand through his hair which is now matted with blood. "Poison..."

The girl smiles slightly as she falls backwards. "That's kind of hot."

"If you're trying to seduce me into giving you the antivenom, it won't work, I don't even know how to make an antidote for that vile shit..."

She lets out a small sigh. "Yeah... I didn't think that would work..."

"You brought this on yourself, Pauline, your chance of survival is less than half of a percent... you held a grudge for what, two years? Did you even like that prick?"

"N-Nah, he was a complete b-bastard." She snorts.

"Why did you even work for him, Pauline?" Lucas asks.

"Well, he wasn't always a bastard, y'know? After I realized what was going on, I was in too deep, people were dead, some more innocent than others, and well... I already committed the crime, what's a few more corpses? A few more life sentences? You can only live through one."

Lucas shakes his head and shrugs. "You're definitely going to die... shit happens I suppose... I regret it happening in this manner though, I feel like you could have been redeemed if you kept your psychopathy in check, but... I guess this is goodbye."

He turns around and walks away, nearly tripping over a shattered brick on his way, but waves over his shoulder. "When you get to hell, tell Sirzechs to save me a spot, yeah? I don't think heaven is a possibility anymore."

He lets out a small snort. "Heh... that was edgy as fuck... what's up with me today?"

He looks back with a small sad smile, then continues on his way without looking back again, he pulls his phone out of his sleeve and turns it off.

**Bgm: End**

I wince as I get to my feet, Wes following after me.

"Pauline, you're a bitch, but you said you were going to leave us alive earlier, so you're not all that bad... I hope you have a good afterlife." I sigh, nursing a large scrape on my arm.

"I don't." Wes scoff. "That was the second time you hit me in the face with that bat of yours, you fucking cun-"

* * *

"OH MY GOD WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?! LU?! ARE YOU OKAY?! DO WE NEED TO TAKE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL?! OHGODOHFUCK WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?! YOU WENT OUT FOR FUCKING SNACKS HOW ARE YOU THIS BLOODY?! Oh god I'm going to fucking-

***Thump***

"Milly?"

"…"

"Did you just... faint?"

"…"

"Milly?"

"That's probably not healthy." I mutter with a small shrug as I pick her up and put her on the couch, covering her up with a blanket as I am consumed by shadows, only for them to spit me out about a second later clean as a daisy, the black splotch below me snaking out to the garbage can where it spits out dried blood, dirt, dust, and small rocks.

Hydranoid looks up at me with some slight confusion.

"Just met... an old friend." I tell the Hydra as I sit down beside the still knocked out Milly.

She suddenly sits up with a gasp and looks around "L- oh... you're fine..."

She rubs her head. "I just had the most horrible dream."

"Mhm." I grunt.

She looks at me and narrows her eyes slightly, strand of hair swaying back and forth in front of her face as she shifts slightly. "What's wrong."

"Nothing really, just a bad day, saved my friends from being murdered... killed that person after they bitch slapped me through a building, life is just great today~"

"Your first kill?" Mittelt asks.

"Y-Yeah." I sigh.

"The first is always the worst." She mumbles as she grabs my shoulders and forces me to use her lap as a pillow, stroking my head as she does so. "It will never leave you, but it does get easier..."

"Mnn."

She smiles slightly. "It'll be okay... you're strong, you'll bounce back."

"Yeah..." I murmur. "Everything will be fine."

* * *

**Well well well, looks like Lucas has killed a man... a wo-man that is! HEYOOO, so, what did you think?**  
**Pauline's death dramatic and edgy enough? At least until Wes ruined it? I am fairly proud of this chapter as well, I think I might have some sort of split personality, but not the regular 'I am two people' more of a tree sort of situation, like, I am 'there' for all of it, but one part of me is fucking dazed a lot, playing second person in my own body while I am fixing cereal or some shit, then I get another part that tries to make everything super detailed, but it only appears during key parts of my stories- and I wish I could figure out how to get it out more often as I have thought 'I'm going to make this super detailed with things like 'her eyes slowly blink as she tilts her head, hair moving from one side of her face to the other' but I can **_**NEVER BRING IT OUT! **_**number 3 is writers block and procrastination and number 4 is fucking illiterate with massive sausage fingers... sometimes I hate my life. **

**Well, I finished this... I am going to quickly post it so I can take the good ol namp, don't expect anything from me on Wednesday~**


	9. Chapter 9

**I do not own Dxd, Only the oc and any 'new' sacred gear I have created.**

"Speech"

'Thought'

**"Powerful Entities Talking"** (Such as dragons and angry gods who are shouting)

**[Boost]: Ddraig**

**{Divide} Albion**

* * *

I groan as I stand up and stretch. 'aaaalright, yesterday's problems still weigh on me, but now I should work on my scheme.'

I leave the apartment with a smile on my face, then walk slightly to the left and knock on the door of our neighbors.

The door is opened about a second later as Wes blankly stares at me with half lidded eyes... well, 'stares'.

"Hey, Lu... how are you?"

"Pretty good." I yawn. "Just got up and realized we really haven't done anything in like a month, so I wanted to invite you and Zen on a fun little adventure I'm going on in... thirteen days?"

"Wait... what?"

"Yeah, I was going to some classic fight stuff, no chance of death though, I'll make sure of that~"

"So... just like... You, me, and Zen?" Wes slowly asks.

"And Kohaku... he seems pretty chill..." I shrug.

"No Mittelt?" Wes slowly asks.

"Nah, she would say no because it is devil related~ also she would freak out, so you can't tell her about it."

He blinks once then steps out of the way and gestures me inside. "Alright... come in."

I walk inside and sit down on the couch as he flops down in a chair. "Soooo, what's the deal with this?"

"A devil, Rias' fiancé, sexually harassed her for an hour, then threatened to kill everyone in the room if she didn't go back to the underworld with him, now they are going to have a fight in two weeks which I get to join in as a third party... possibly..." I hum. "Now, I hate this guy, so I leapt at the opportunity..."

"So. Basically I have to fight Rias, Akeno, Asia, Issei, Koneko, Kiba, fiancé himself and fifteen other people from the dickhead's harem..."

"Why... exactly are they letting you fight?"

"Rias' big brother is literally Lucifer and he doesn't want her marrying that douche anymore... but, due to politics he can't disband the marriage, buuut, he just so happens to be using this battle- because Rias doesn't stand a chance, her five people vs Riser's fifteen- to test 'his' brand new idea of a battle royal rating game!"

"Why do we have to fight him thouuugh." Wes groans.

"Hey, I thought it would be pretty fun~" I shrug. "And besides, that douchebag molests lolis."

"…" he is silent for a moment.

"I don't think you are in any position of comment on that with that girlfriend of yours..." Wes deadpans.

"Ouch."

He tilts his head slightly and taps his chin. "But... yeah, we haven't done anything fun together since the church... hmm... I'll talk to Zen about it, he'll probably say 'yeah'."

"Neato." I shrug. "Well, I'm off to the station to see off the group of fucking idiots~"

* * *

I blankly stare at the Gremory group- sans Gremory- sitting around the train station, waiting for the next train to come.

"…"

"Alright, I'll bite... where's Red?" I slowly ask.

Akeno looks over to me as I arrive and lets out a simple hum. "Rias has gone to retrieve a brand-new peerage member."

"Hm?" I mutter. "Where the fuck did she get a new one?"

I let out a sigh and shake my head. "What sort of poor schmuck did she target this time? A five-year-old? A cripple? A teen whose mother is really sick? A-"

A pair of hands cover my eyes. "_Guess who._"

"AAAAAAAAAAAA-"

I slap the hands off my eyes, and do a quick combat roll forwards where I quickly spin around and stand up, wielding a glock.

Standing there... is Pauline herself... surprisingly bat-less with a smug smile and slightly narrowed eyes, not narrowed in an angry way however, but in a way to make her exude even more smugness. "Well well well, Lu, never expected to see me again did you bitch?"

I look slightly to the left of the black haired psychopath to where Rias is standing, looking slightly confused by my reaction.

"WHAT DID YOU DO, RIAS?!" I shout at the red haired princess.

"What?" Pauline asks with a small smile. "Not so cocky now that you aren't the only one who can cheat death?"

"STAY DEAD YOU PSYCHO BITCH!"

Rias slowly looks between myself and Pauline. "…"

Then stares at me with a grimace. "Lucas. I will not have you threatening my new rook in such a way."

"SHE FUCKING CAVED IN MY FACE WITH A FUCKING BAT, RIAS!" I shout at the girl. "I'll do what I damn PLEASE about this bitch!"

Pauline scoffs. "I won't come after you if you don't come after me... my dept to Akisame is done, I will protect my new master with my life."

"Bitch! You came after Zen and Wes for shits and giggles!" I shout. "I don't FUCKING Believe you!'

I close my eyes and inhale. "Fuck it. Stay the hell away from me."

I scoff and turn around, gun lost sometime during my rant. "Rias, keep your 'new cool and powerful rook' away from me... I don't want to deal with her bullshit anymore... also she fucking **terrifies** me."

I walk away, pausing next to Koneko who is sitting on a bench on my way to the exit of the station. "Watch the new girl alright? She could probably kill you, Kiba and Issei before she was even a devil... but now that she's a rook... Rias might not need those two weeks to beat Riser anymore."

The white-haired girl simply munches on a cookie, then gives me a slow thumbs up.

"Alright... cool." I nod, taking a brief moment to look over the entire group.

"Don't die~" I hum before turning around and walking away.

* * *

"Heeey Kohaku, want to join me in a devil death battle?" It took me a while to actually find an opportune time to ask him, but, eh I already sort of knew he was going to join anyways.

"W-" he inhales for a moment. "Why would I ever say yes to that?"

"We get one wish from Satan himself if we save his sister from an arranged marriage?" I shrug.

"I'm in." He deadpans immediately.

"Don't worry, if you are worried about the fact that I said death battle, that isn't actually the ca- wait... you said yes that quickly?" I ask.

"Sure. I agree. I need that wish." He states.

"…"

"Alllriiight" I slowly blink. "Sad backstory stuff?"

"Sad backstory stuff." He nods.

"Ok" I shrug. "Neat... I realize at this point we don't really hang out much anymore, do we?"

"Mn." He shrugs as he goes back to mopping the floor.

"Cool, cool." I shrug. "The fight is in ten days, I have a general plan for each person so I'm going to go over that before we start... anyways, see ya buddy!"

I turn and walk away, but I am briefly stopped by a single word.

"Lucas."

"Hm?" I hum as I glance over my shoulder.

"Why are you so intent on fighting? You made it sound like we only get _one_ wish, so... why are you giving it up so easily?" Kohaku asks.

"Well..." I grin. "That's a good question."

I tap my chin. "It really has to do with boredom... living a peaceful life like I have been for the past month is good n' all, but... I just crave excitement! I can't really explain it, but I feel more at home within a fight than anywhere else."

"Is that desire enough for you to actively fling the world around you into chaos?" He slowly asks.

"Mn? No, of course not... that's dumb. Like who do you think I am?" I scoff. "I have no need for the wish because I can make all of my dreams come true with but a thought."

"And a good month of naps... can never really go wrong with naps." I finish as I turn away. "Anyways, see you in ten days where we can thrash a pedophile and his harem of little girls."

"Wh-"

"Don't ask." I deadpan over my shoulder.

* * *

The day has come and it is going to be GLORIOUS!

I look between my three friends. "Alright, we all know what we are supposed to do?"

They all nod once.

"Grand." I grin. "oho I can't wait to see the looks on their faces when I pull this shit off."

"Lu, are you excited because that one girl is a jojo fan?" Wes slowly asks.

"No..." I weakly deny.

"…"

"Yes." I eventually sigh.

* * *

**Pov: Kohaku**

With a flash we all appear in the janitor's closet, a place I know well.

"Uhhhh, Lu?" The small blind one slowly begins. "Where are we?"

"Janitor's closet." The white-haired teen answers with a grin.

"wait... how do you know t-" I begin.

"I broke in here earlier this week in order to plot out my little scheme... everything's going to plan!" Lucas grins, punching a fist into his open palm.

"Y-You WH-"

**"Your attention please..."**

I am cut off again as a female voice radiates around us.

**"Welcome everyone, my name is Grayfia... I am a servant of the house of Gremory... I will be your referee in today's match."**

**"To create the battlefield you will be competing in, I have taken suggestions from both, Lord Riser Phenix and Lady Rias Gremory, you may recognize this as a complete replica of Kuoh Academy... however, I will be the first to tell you that this will not be your normal rating game."**

She pauses for a moment, most likely giving the other players to quietly ask 'what does she mean by that?'

**"For you see, Maou Lucifer has decided to use this mock rating game to test one of his newer ideas... As lady Rias is forbade from using one of her strongest pieces, and she lacks other important pieces, a much fairer scenario has been created... this match will be the first- of hopefully many- battle royal rating games."**

She pauses for another moment.

**"As we speak, a third party is acting throughout the new school house, in this scenario, there are no allies, only enemies, however, the saying goes, the enemy of my enemy is my friend, and in this case, temporary truces may be formed to tackle stronger opponents, but both members should know fully well that there is nothing stopping their 'ally' from betraying them at an opportune moment."**

"Did she just give us the go-ahead to start 'the scheme'?" Lucas mutters.

"I'd say she did." Zen shrugs.

"Sweet!" The white haired brawler grins as he throws open the door and walks outside. "Kohaku, do the thing, Wes, go play some mine-sweeper, Zen. Go have some fun. Me? I'm going to go stir up some trouble~"

**"Each team has been given an area that serves as a home base, sans the third party, Lady Rias, your crew will be in the occult research club headquarters in the old school building, Lord Riser's home base will be located in the principal's office of the new school house. Pawns of the opposing team may be promoted if they make it to the base of the opposing team, however, the third party does not have a home base, thus they may not promote, a blessing and a curse, they can leave their starting position without worry of foes becoming stronger, but they, themselves cannot gain strength upon making it to an enemy's stronghold."**

Lucas reaches into his sleeve and pulls out three crosses and a couple vials of water, pausing briefly as he places them in my hand. "You know what to do Jotaro~"

**"Good Luck to All..."**

"We have like a minute before the game actually begins! Break!" Lucas grins as he turns and rushes off down a seemingly random corridor in the direction of the lunchroom. "KYAHAHAH!"

I briefly look over to the calm one and the blind one. "Is he alwa-"

""Yes.""

"Oh. Ok."

We all split up, Wes and Zen briefly going in the same direction, before Wes summons a Katana and smashes the window with a blade of wind, then he proceeds to leap out of said window even though we are on the second floor.

"Alright..." I murmur. "One job. I can do this. Don't lose my shit at the fact that the blind one caused SO much property damage... this isn't the real thing... I don't have to clean up... I don't have to-"

I sharply inhale, twisting on a dime and rush over to the broken window, then I quickly mop up the broken shards of glass.

"DAMNIT!" I roar, disappointment clear about my cleaning urges getting the best of me.

**"Let the game begin!"**

"PISS!" I shout as I run down the hallway towards where I need to go.

* * *

**Meanwhile... with Sona...**

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING OOOOOON?!"

* * *

"I can't believe what a good copy this place is..." Issei murmurs.

"They're here." Koneko deadpans.

The lights suddenly turn on with a loud thrum, then a simple voice calls out. "Smells like Gremory Filth~ come out come out where ever you are~"

Standing in the center of the gym and three pawns and one Rook... the first two pawns are twins, each with mint green hair and blue eyes, and carrying large bags that hang off their shoulders, they wear a white t-shirt and wear tight black shorts that stop about six inches above the knees.

The third pawn is a blue haired girl with a blunted staff, wearing red and white Japanese-esque clothing that stops just below the waist, her hair is tied up into four loose ponytails, two going upwards, and two going down.

The rook is a black-haired girl with hair tied into buns on the sides of her head, she wears a blue dress with a white ribbon tied around her waist, there is a large gash down the lower part of the dress, exposing one of her legs.

"Look what we have here~" the rook hums. "Rias sent us both a rook and a pawn! Little Issei needed some help huh?"

"Who are they?" Issei slowly asks.

"I'm Mira, and I'm a phoenix pawn." The blue haired pawn announces.

"I'm Xuelan_**(A/n Pronounced 'Shueran'… apparently...)**_A phoenix rook."

"My name's Nel and I'm a pawn!" One of the twins exclaims.

"I'm Ile and I'm also a pawn!" The other finishes.

Koneko freezes for a moment. "Wait... someone else is here!"

"I'm Zen... and I'm a human." A new person makes his presence known, appearing literally from nowhere as if coalescing from black hazy mist... right in the middle of the three pawns and rook.

They all instantly snap their heads in the direction of the voices, but his fist slams into the side of Xuelan's head and causes her to skip across the floor where she slowly rolls to a stop just before the wall.

""YOU!"" The twins roar as they reach into their bags and pull out chainsaws ""We're gonna tear you to pieces!""

Then he disappears again, the room starts spinning and a misty echo-e voice passes throughout the gym. _"Perhaps... but you will have to catch me first."_

**Three of Riser's Pawns and one of Riser's Rooks VS Rias' Pawn and Rias' Rook VS Zen!**

* * *

**Meanwhile...**

A group of three are quickly making their way through a forest.

"Ugh... this fog is so thick... I can't see anything..." One of the girls in a maid outfit grumbles, brushing a hand through her brown hair.

A red glyph lights up, shooting a couple beams at them, causing the girls to leap up to avoid it. "A trap?" The one with silvery hair in what is basically a bikini asks. "Did they seriously expect something that lame would work?!"

"The Gremory's are dumber than I thought~" the first French maid pawns smirk.

"A cute trick from a rating game virgin~" The second laughs, also with brown hair.

After about thirty more seconds of jumping and disabling glyphs the second maid lets out a sigh. "Do they actually think that these traps are going to stop us?"

They spy a building through the trees. "Hey... that's their home base, isn't it?"

They quickly dash over and look up at it, one of the girls laughing out loud. "HAH! Too easy~!"

The building fades into nothing, causing one of the girls to let out a sigh and glare at the one who called this 'Easy'.

"Hello ladies!" A gentlemanly voice grins as Kiba slowly walks out of the forest. "You gals looking for some company?"

"'Cause if you are feeling lonely this evening, I might be the man for you~" he continues.

"Damn... we walked right into that one, didn't we?" One of the maids sigh as a massive glyph appears above them.

"What we lack in manpower, girls, we make up for it in brains~" Kiba grins.

The bikini wearing pawn speaks up. "I don't want to burst your bubble, because you are sort of my type, blondie, but do you really expect to beat all three of us?"

"Why don't we find ou-" Kiba stops speaking and suddenly draws his blade, parrying a slash which hits with a boom of thunder, causing his feet into sink about an inch into the dirt below him.

"A holy sword?" He hisses, eyes narrowing as he stares up at Wes who is paused just above him.

Just as everyone starts to get their bearings, Wes is struck by a bolt of lightning and disappears.

Everyone stops and slowly looks around, the misty forest suddenly becoming a lot spookier now there is a pint-sized slasher on the loose.

**Wes VS Rias' Knight VS Three of Riser's Pawns!**

* * *

"Ah fuck. Ah shit... I'm late..." Kohaku whispers to himself as rushes through the hallways of the new school building. 'it was supposed to be simple! Put the holy water and the cross in the water tank connected to the fire sprinklers, but I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO EVEN BEGIN SEARCHING FOR THAT! We check it, what? Once every five or so years? I have only been working at Kuoh or like a year! They placed new pipes a MONTH before I started!'

I turn a corner, in front of me is a simple locked trap door leading under the ground floor. 'it should be in there, right?'

***Tak... Tak... Tak... Tak...***

I shiver as a noise makes itself known, it is about twenty feet behind me, down the hallway.

The hairs on my neck raise as the sound of high heels clicking on tile grows closer and closer.

I slowly turn my head around to spy a purple haired woman, tits barely contained by her dress as stops about ten feet away and looks me up and down.

"Hn... you must be part of that third party we were told about..." She hums, twisting the staff in her hand back and forth. "What's a human doing in devil affairs, hmm?"

A bit of sweat runs down my forehead. 't-this is one of those 'queens' I have been warned about, yes?'

"…"

"Aren't going to say anything?" She hums. "Hn... I wonder if the retirement system will work on you... being human and all."

"Does that mean that the other third-party members are also human? Peh! That's kind of droll I suppose." She scoffs. "will you be a dear and tell me all that you know about your allies~ if you do, maybe I won't have to detonate your hands... then your feet, finger by finger... toe by toe till you decide to tell me~"

I slowly inhale, sweat pouring down my forehead, turn back the way I was looking moment before... I pick up my mop, propping it on my shoulders.

"So... you finally found me hm?" I ask in the gruffest voice I can manage.

"You weren't being very quiet about it... it wasn't that ha-"

While she is mid-sentence, I sprint with all my might, down the hallway and away from this demon, uttering a mighty war cry. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

**Kohaku vs Riser's Queen!**

* * *

I sit down on the stacked tables, taking a final breath of clean and calm air, the probability of someone finding me is 100%, so, I'm waiting in a place that allows me to fight to the best of my abilities.

"You know... Thought Occurs..." I mutter to myself. "The principal's office has cameras, doesn't it?"

Just then the doors to the cafeteria explode inwards.

Seven girls walk in, drill girl included.

"Oh... honestly I didn't expect this many, but it will do." I shrug

A girl in a biker jacket with a half mask and red streaks in her brown hair speaks up-

"Your next line is 'You won't get away with disgracing Riser like that you bastard!' To you."

"You won't get away with disgracing Riser like that you b-" she flinches and takes a step back as I stand up on my table pile and take a single step off, where I fall a good five feet to the floor where I land with a crouch.

"Oh, this is going to be so much fun~" I grin as I stand again. "Allow me to educate you all on just what it means to have the power of god and anime on your side."

They flinch at the _word_.

"Oh right... you people have a crippling weakness..." I murmur.

I look up with a cocky grin. "God, God, Goddy, Godly God, God."

Several of them are actually clutching their heads at this point.

In the distance I hear 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-'

Then with a simple smirk a give them a 'what can you do' shrug and state. "My _god_, some girl's in trouble!"

"RAAAGH!" Two sword wielding girls roar and blur forwards just as I press the 'play' button on the hello kitty stereo cd boombox that is sitting in a little shelf I made within the tables... it was the only one they had that was in my price range... don't judge me...

"COME ON THEN!" I cackle as I raise my fists with a colossal grin on my face.

**Lucas Vs two of Riser's Pawns, one of Riser's Rooks, two of Riser's Knights, and two of Riser's Bishops!**

* * *

**When you are eating a burrito and your tooth crunches c: anywaaays posting this early as I am going to the dentist tomorrow and well... I have had bad experiences with dentestry, so I sort of want to wait and see if good ol kim's Christmas present is a nuke on my doorstep (I really hope it is) but on the other hand, eating with one side of my mouth in constant fear of even slightly touching my canine teeth is a REAL hassle, so I'm probably going to go get it fixed. Anyways, see ya!**


	10. Chapter 10

**I do not own Dxd, Only the oc and any 'new' sacred gear I have created.**

"Speech"

'Thought'

**"Powerful Entities Talking"** (Such as dragons and angry gods who are shouting)

**[Boost]: Ddraig**

**{Divide} Albion**

* * *

"Honestly... what is even going on..." Sona whimpers.

A teen with spiky black-haired rushes across the screen and down a hallway, giant explosions trailing behind him.

"WHY IS OUR JANITOR DOWN THERE?!"

Tsubaki decides to stay quiet.

"…"

"HOW DOES HE EVEN KNOW ABOUT THE SUPERNATURAL?!"

A hand pokes out of his back and a tiny ball of water about the size of a ping-pong ball shoots out of its palm towards the pursuing queen flying after him.

A bubble of demonic power surrounds her as the bullet of water hits it and skims off the side where it punches through a locker at the end of the hallway, he seems to mouth a 'n-nobody can just deflect the trident splash!'- and yes, mouthed, as they don't have sound because Lucas was giving them a headache- then Kohaku continues sprinting harder, a now slightly annoyed queen following shortly behind.

They gaze to another screen to see Kiba back to back with Riser's pawns, gazing out into the misty forest around them, waiting for Wes' next move.

Sona sighs as the four devils suddenly scatter as a bolt of lightning strikes in between them, the short blond suddenly appearing once more with a spinning slash that sends a blade of wind after the group. "I knew he had a sacred gear, but Blade Blacksmith?"

The blade of wind is avoided by two of the pawns and Kiba, but the bikini wearing pawn is cut across the back- cutting the strap for her top- and falls forwards with a grimace as the top of her bathing suit falls off.

Then Wes is struck by lightning again and disappears.

"How is he even doing that?" The pawn, Ruruko slowly asks.

Tsubaki speaks up. "It appears that his sacred gear is a subspecies... I haven't seen him try to summon any other weaponry, and his sword seems to have multiple effects on it, so perhaps he can only summon one at a time?"

They look to another screen to watch Lucas weave through the attacks of two knights with apparent ease.

He hops back and points at them with finger guns, mouthing the words '_God_ I'm good.'

Then the two knights freeze, eyes wide in horror, then covers their ears, dropping their weapons, then they are promptly kicked across the room.

The mouthed words still causing mild irritation from the several devils observing the battle as they piece together what exactly he said by reading his lips, causing them to suddenly look over to the final screen with a groan, where they can watch the battle currently unfolding in the Gym...

The six devils are all on the floor, unmoving as a black-haired teen walks around with a slightly bored expression.

He lets out a long sigh and looks around the room, then just shrugs and sits down a locked chest full of sports equipment, picking up a manual on the history of balls... basket balls that is- and opens it up to the first page, looking thoroughly bored.

* * *

**Pov: Lucas**

"Come on! Is that all you have?!" I ask with a grin as I grab the ankle of what I have determined to be a rook, a vine of shadow wrapping around her shin as I fling her away with a simple swing of my arm.

She is the only one that seems to be capable of fighting right now, even if it highly hampered with her fingers in her ears, she has been keeping me on my toes with her flight and surprisingly fast kicks.

Most of the others seem to be covering their ears and staggering around at the third gospel song or so continues to blast out of my boombox.

I am honestly surprised they haven't targeted it yet... I left a trap for them and everything... ah well... this is getting kind of boring.

I hop away, pausing in front of the boom box, and slam my fist on the top of it, cutting off the current song and moving to something muuuch more appropriate.

**Bgm: Jojo's Bizarre Adventure OST Track 21 - Overdrive**

"Your race's ability to be crippled by a single word aside... I have deemed that it is waaay too over powered... so... I'm going to fight you when you are unhampered."

I let out a cheerful laugh as they slowly, one by one start uncovering their ears, the knights from earlier slowly picking themselves up off the floor as they had been stunned by the first wave of gospel music, then promptly kicked in the stomach and sent flying over an overturned table.

"You dishonorable_ bastard_." The knight with what looks like bandage wrapped around her forehead growls.

"dishonorable?" I scoff. "I am fighting SEVEN of you right now, don't give me that dishonorable crap!"

The knight crouches slightly with a large frown, seemingly getting ready to lunge forwards.

A brief bit of light seems to spark across the floor, the only one that seems to notice it being drill girl.

"I'll be real with you all, I am probably physically weaker than even drill girl over there... but... I have another way to win..."

I point forwards with a cocky grin with one hand. "Are you all ready for the next stage of my boss battle?"

"Is this just a game to you?!" The rook with half of her face hidden asks.

"Well, yeah." I deadpan. "Rating _Game_."

I act like I don't notice the knight with the MASSIVE great sword slowly creeping forwards into my 'Blind spot'

"Well... you seem confidant, Nya~" one of the two twin neko pawns say with a slightly devious grin. "Shame that I'll have to scratch you up."

"You're kind of our type." The twins say in unison.

"I have a girlfriend. And I don't take damaged goods." I grin, just as the greatsword wielding knight leaps forwards.

I swing my hand out, a small silver line being tugged on by a shadow coated index and middle finger.

Drill girl widens her eyes and shouts out. "SIRIS! STOP!"

But it is already too late, silver wire explodes off the ground and wraps around her body, slightly cutting into her skin before smoking.

"IYAAAA!" She screams as the _holy_ wire sears her flesh, then with my other hand I pull a Tommy gun out of my unbuttoned school shirt. "Eat this!"

I point it at the rook and ***RATATATATATATATATA-***

Instead of normal bullets, beams of white light pour out of the barrel and pierce her crossed arms and legs, causing her to fly backwards as the wall behind her is filled with holes, her body crashing through the weakened drywall.

The second knight leaps forwards, but a black thorny vine punches through the tiled floor just below her and wraps around her ankle, causing her to trip and fall prone over a tripwire that snaps, flipping over a bucket that was hidden in the rafters, causing the contents to spill on her and the bottom of the bucket to slam on the back of her head, then she starts smoking as well, because that bucket was full of holy water.

**"Lord Riser's Pawn has been retired."**

"I WAS IN CONTROL FROM THE VERY BEGINNING!" I laugh as I flash the remaining two pawns and bishops a middle finger.

**"One of Lord Riser's Rooks have been retired."**

The nekos leap forwards with a yowl, the blue one raising her fists while the blue one tries to kick me.

I duck past the punch and drop the now empty tommygun, then appearing in my hand as I step around the kick of the second pawn is a simple corked bottle, I pop the cork off and force the blue haired neko pawn to drink the contents.

She freezes for a moment and looks down at her stomach in horror, then not even a second later she is repeatedly saying "I surrender! I retire!"

Then she disappears with a flash.

**"One of Lord Riser's Pawns has been retired."**

"That was regular mint-water~" I hum with a small grin as I flick the empty bottle at the stunned pawn.

**"Lady Rias' Knight has been retired."**

She tries to swat it out of the way and screams in pain as it suddenly turns black and becomes a spiky ball. "NYANI?!"

"The bottle was holy though..." I shrug.

"I SURRENDER! I RETIRE!" The girl screams.

"…"

She disappears like the last.

**"One of Lord Riser's Pawns has been retired."**

"…"

"That was a fucking bluff..."

I look back at the two bishops. "Does Riser get off on banging mentally handicapped girls or something? Because I am going to be honest, those two were fucking dumbasses."

The knights have had just about as much as they can handle so they both poofs as well.

**"Two of Lord Riser's Knights have been retired."**

I glance to the side to watch them fully disappear and when I look back a red orb the size of a watermelon is hurtling towards my face.

"Oh shit."

**"Two of Lord Riser's Pawns has been retired."**

It flies to where it is about a foot from my face, but then the shadows in my collar create a shield in front of my face and EAT IT. Like, it is gone. Completely.

Aaaannnd the bishop girl who fired it is shot in the back from her own attack as it appears from a black vine on the wall behind her.

**"One of Lord Riser's bishops have been retired."**

**Bgm: End**

I walk over to the boombox. "Well, this has been useful."

I swap the track back over to gospel songs and turn it off, then I simply let the shadow of my sleeve eat it as I place my palm on the top of it.

"So, how do you want to play this, drill girl?" I ask as I turn to look at her, she is looking sort of flustered at my direct line of sight. "I know you have regeneration, so now what? Do you try and burn me like your older brother? Do you fly around and launch building sized fireballs at me?"

"W- No! I'm just a spectator!" She exclaims, then flinches as I gaze right into her eyes and quickly looks at the floor. "U-Uh h-how d-did you beat all of them so quickly?!"

"You ever seen jojo's bizarre adventure part two?"

"YES!" She exclaims.

"I'm basically Joseph motherfucking Joestar."

The doors to the lunchroom are thrown open, causing both of us to glance over. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

Kohaku sprints through, past me, purple haired woman on his heels.

"OOOH NOOO" I shout while slapping the sides of my head, then I turn around and quickly sprint after Kohaku.

* * *

**Pov: Wes**

I appear again with a flash of thunder, my blade sinking into the side of one of the women in this forest.

"W-Wait! You shouldn't harm a woman!" She cries, it is the one I hurt earlier, so she has a fairly large gash on her back.

"Gender equality biiiitch!" I laugh as I slash across her crossed arms, causing her to simply disappear.

**"Lord Riser's Pawn has been retired."**

I swing my blade backwards, parrying the attack of Kiba as he summons a sword in his hand, as my sword makes contact with his own I feel a draining sensation as power is drawn out of my sacred gear.

**"One of Lord Riser's Rooks have been retired."**

With a crash I disappear, the bolt of thunder throwing Kiba back as I dematerialize and literally become lightning of the storm above, then with another boom I land on Kiba as a bolt of lightning, reforming and sliding my katana just past his guard where it sinks into his stomach.

"You _bastard_." He growls, as he wraps his hand around the blade of my sword, trying to pull it out.

**"One of Lord Riser's Pawns has been retired."**

I blankly stare down at him, only to disappear with a flash of lightning as his own sword slashes up towards my neck.

'hn... he just tried to kill me right there... I didn't think he had it in him...'

He disappears with a flash, much like the first girl as I appear in front of the two maids that are trying to run away.

**"Lady Rias' Knight has been retired."**

**"One of Lord Riser's Pawns has been retired."**

**"Two of Lord Riser's Knights have been retired."**

I make them poof with two well placed slashes.

**"Two of Lord Riser's Pawns have been retired."**

"You know... Lu was right... this is kind of fun..." I murmur to myself.

**"One of Lord Riser's bishops have been retired."**

"And apparently someone is cleaning up shop... probably Lu... he was going to hang out on the cafeteria, right?"

I tilt my head. "Now where do I go..."

* * *

It has been maybe a minute or so since the last retirement... I am doing my job amicably.

I look across to all the sleeping devils, my red eyes glowing lightly as I look back down to my book, Issei seems to shift slightly and mutters under his breath.

He its up with a gasp "NOOOOOO! STAY AWAY FROM ME YOU CROSSDRESSING MONSTERS!"

He flinches as he looks around. "H-Huh?"

One of the twins with chainsaws disintegrates into blue light.

**"One of Riser's Pawns has been retired."**

He locks eyes with me, then looks down at the sleeping Koneko who is shifting uncomfortably, quietly whimpering "B-Big sister... don't go..."

He looks up again with a frown. "You did this, didn't you."

He stands up with a growl and nearly collapses, grabbing his knee. "Agh- my muscles are s-so sore... what the hell?"

I close my book and fling it at his head, he barely manages to dodge it by falling to the floor.

"Yes, the others are currently under the effect of my balance breaker..." I state as I stand up. "It forces everyone nearby to forcibly go to sleep, then while they are unconscious, they are forced to sit through nightmares that slowly chip away at their life force until they are dead, woken up, or in this case, retired."

He grits his teeth and slowly stands again. "You pretty boy _bastard_! I WON'T LET YOU STOP ME FROM GETTING A CHANCE TO CLAIM RIAS' VIRGINITY!"

"…" I blink at him twice. "Wut."

He slowly walks forwards, gauntlet appearing on his arm. "If I don't beat you here and now, how could I look her in the eyes as I touch her boobs!"

"I- don't think you should be saying this out loud..." I slowly say.

"ALL OF OUR TRAINING WILL HAVE BEEN FOR NOTHING!"

"Ok... that's a little more reasonab-"

"IF YOU KEEP DEFEATING OUR FOES I WONT BE ABLE TO USE MY NEW ABILITY TO STRIP OFF THEIR CLOTHES!" He roars.

"…"

"I'm going to start beating you now..." I deadpan. "I don't know when I'll stop..."

**[BOOST!]**

* * *

**See all you fuggin idorts next DECADE! MUAHAHAHAH! THE PEAK DAD JOKE!**

**Anyways, I hope you enjoy the chapter, and, if you like a random assortment of chaotically uploaded bullshit? I have a new story called 'Flame's Trash' where I upload stories, I probably won't continue, but eh, if you like it enough, that might change~**

**Anyways see you all later~ **


	11. Chapter 11

**I do not own Dxd, Only the oc and any 'new' sacred gear I have created.**

"Speech"

'Thought'

**"Powerful Entities Talking"** (Such as dragons and angry gods who are shouting)

**[Boost]: Ddraig**

**{Divide} Albion**

* * *

"So!" I call out to my sprinting ally. "Is this what you have been doing all game?"

"Y-Yeah!" He pants out as we both turn a corner, a massive explosion smashing into the wall we were facing moments before.

"Alright, then, we should probably stop her if I am going to be hones-" a bat flies through the air, past my head and smashes into the Queen's nose causing her to get launched backwards and into a wall which she is imbedded into.

I stare dead ahead at the busty raven-haired girl in a red sweater who draws back her hand, causing Kohaku and myself to dive out of the way as her bat returns to her via a long piece of chain.

"…"

I glance over to Kohaku, glance back ahead, Pauline now noticeably closer.

I glance away and back and she is even closer.

I put a folded sheet over my hand and then pull it off to reveal a boombox.

***Click***

_"I've heard there was, a secret cord, that David played and it pleased the lord-"_

She clutches her ears and screams.

"SHOOT HER! SHOOT HER NOW!" I scream at Kohaku

"With Holy W-"

_"But you don't really care for music do you?"_

"YOU FUCKING BETTER!" I shout.

The janitor pops the cap off a milk jug filled with water, then points his hand forwards and unleashes a torrent of holy water that launches the bat wielding psychopath down the hallway.

"…" he slowly blinks.

_"It goes like this, the Fourth, the Fifth, the Minor Fall, the Major Lift! The baffled king composing Halleluja!"_

I grab his wrist and leap out of the window.

Just as a giant explosion rips its way down the hallway, blowing out all nearby windows as it does so, like a wave of fire that spits out the new holes like hot gas from a muzzle break

_"Halleluja!"_

As we fall to the grass below Kohaku launches a beam of water upwards that crashes against a barrier around the purple clad figure of Riser's Queen, she lept out of a window after us, eyes full of rage focuses precisely at my limited-edition hello kitty boombox, she also has some blood on the front of her dress, but she doesn't appear to be bleeding at all? Where did the blood come from then?

_"Halleluja!"_

I let go of him and flick my hand downwards revealing a single shot grenade launcher that I point at the queen after a quick roll, Kohaku's downward momentum stopped as his stand- ***Cough*** 'spirit familiar'** *Cough***\- creates a sphere of water that he crashes through.

_"Halleluja!"_

***THOMP- BOOOM***

The grenade explodes against her shield and sends her flying higher.

I tug the boombox out of the way of a lightning bolt and fling the empty launcher in the direction it came from, smacking Akeno right in the face, and she is ALSO staring at me, slightly enraged.

_"Your faith was strong, but you needed proof, you saw her bathing on the roof, her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you."_

"FUCK YOU! SHREK WAS A GOOD MOVIE!" I roar as I pull out a canister-like grenade and pull the pin with my teeth, then fling it behind me and up into the air.

I cover one of my ears with my now free hand and shadows from my hair cover the other.

_"She tied you to a kitchen chair, she broke your throne, she cut your hair,"_

A loud ringing explosion and a flash echoes out from behind me.

"NO IT WASN'T!" Riser's queen roars as a massive explosion radiates from her body.

***Record Scratch***

"What the fuck did you just say to me?" I ask as I slowly turn around, Hallelujas completely stopped.

A tendril of shadow snakes out from the ground and smashes into a bolt of lightning that was heading for my back.

"…"

"Kohaku... leave... I have some_ teaching _to do." I deadpan in a slightly emotionless tone.

Kohaku slowly raises his hands and backs away slowly... only for the tip of a bat to pierce the ground next to him.

He follows the chain to the wielder who is stood up on the second floor of the school, soggy, with one eye shut and the other slightly teary and red, her skin appears to also be red, blistered and she appears to be smoking below her shirt.

She lights herself of fire with demonic power, drying off- and slightly toasting- her clothes, but not healing the damage.

Kohaku pales and sprints through the open door behind him, leading him back into the school building.

Pauline leaps off the second floor through a massive hole in the wall from prior explosions, then chases after Kohaku, bat being torn from the earth and dragged behind her by a chain.

"Now, would you care to repeat what you just said?"

"Shrek is an ungod_s_ly annoying and disgusting movie" the woman growls. "I don't understand how anyone could enjoy something ladened with so much unsanitary humor and why people like the main character even though he is a filthy monster."

I smile brightly. "I don't know if you actually believe that, or you are just trying to piss me off, _but its working you uncivilized __**c*nt.**_"

The boombox takes this time to activate and make a loud beep to censor my foul language.

"JESUS!" Akeno exclaims, ignoring the pain that word grants her easily enough. "Are you really getting so worked up over a movie?!"

"ILL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT THE FIRST AND ONLY MOVIE WE HAD AT THE ORPHANAGE WAS SHREK AND EVERYBODY, EVEN THE DRUGGIES AND PSYCHOPATHS KNEW NOT TO FUCK WITH THE _SACRED_ ENTERTAINMENT THAT IS SHREK!"

"I would have accepted, 'oh yeah, Shrek just isn't my cup of tea considering the gospel song in it is like sticking two miniature blenders in my ears, being a devil sucks dick and all that' but you had the GALL to insult one of my all-time favorite movies?! You- and you by extension, Akeno, please forgive me- are about to feel wrath that is equivalent to my disgust against Gay, feet based, furry, scat, my little pony, vore, fanfictions."

"W-"

"And just to warn you. That disgust is large."

"…"

"…"

"Who hurt you?" Akeno whispers.

"Mittelt got _really_ pissed at me one day so she pulled up the worst fanfiction she could find and started reading it aloud... forcing me to listen and suffer as she even started bleeding from her eyes at the included DeviantArt page..."

"…"

"I'm going to force you both to retire now."

* * *

**Meanwhile, in the gym:**

"WHY CAN'T I HIT YOU?!"

**[BOOST!]**

Issei once more strikes open air and stumbles slightly as he comes under the effect of my sacred gear's normal ability... 'Serpent's Eyes' is a powerful Illusion based sacred gear, stronger combatants resist the illusions and vertigo somewhat, like that one four winged angel... who I forget the name of at the moment.

Issei strikes open air as I step forwards and land a kick to the back of his knee, dropping him to a kneeling position, then I bring up my fist and strike him in the back of the head, stepping back as he swats his gauntleted hand in my general direction.

Sadly, Issei is _not_ one of these combatants.

I go for a roundhouse kick.

**"Duck!"**

My foot strikes his temple, knocking his entire body to the side where he rolls to a halt... that kick didn't have as much force as I wanted, purely because I was caught off guard... but that voice made me ask myself a vitally important question...

_'Who the fuck just said that?!'_

Issei shakily gets to his feet.

"I see... his sacred gear revolves around putting someone into an illusion..." He murmurs under his breath. "But... he can't effect you because you are an item... and they appear to be sight based..."

He points his gauntlet in front of him, eyes shut. "LET'S DO THIS DDRAIG!"

**[BOOST!]**

**"A little to the left..."**

I widen my eyes as the green orb lights up with each word, his arm swiveling about five inches to the left so it is pointed right at me.

**[DRAGON SHOT!]**

I roll to the side as an orb of energy fires from the tips of the gauntlet's fingers, creating a hole the size of a yoga ball in the wall behind me.

"A... sentient sacred gear?" I whisper.

**"Right. Three inches diagonally down."**

**[DRAGON SHOT!]**

**[BOOST!]**

I leap backwards and watch as another orb strikes into the waxed floorboards and explodes, creating another large hole.

**"An inch upwards."**

**[DRAGON SHOT!]**

I turn my body past the attack and run forwards.

**"He's rapidly approaching from the left."**

I leap to the right just as he says that, Issei's hand trailing after me. 'fuck! He predicted that I woul-'

**[DRAGON SHOT!]**

I cross my arms and wince as the blast chars my skin slightly and sends me flying backwards where I crash into a couple boxes of sporting equipment.

**"Direct hit! Good job, partner."**

'it seems like I can't hold back anymore...'

I burst out of the box and dash forwards.

**"He's rapidly approaching again!"**

**[DRAGON SHOT!]**

**[DRAGON SHOT!]**

**[DRAGON SHOT!]**

I duck past the first and hop over the second, then I throw a baseball into the third causing it to explode prematurely, then I simply hold out a hand to his shoulder.

**"HE'S RIGHT INFRONT OF YOU!"**

***Pinch***

He drops like a puppet with its strings cut, or, it would have if I hadn't punched him right in the stomach as he fell, launching him backwards and causing him to flip head over heels as he slowly rolls to a stop.

**"One of Lord Riser's Pawns has been Retired."**

The flashing and shattering of one of the sleeping lolis in the corner of the room breaks the silence.

I walk over to Issei, crouch and punch his prone form in the face. "That's for all women everywhere." I deadpan.

I punch him again. "That was for Mittelt, the absolute bitch that she is, but, she's taken, and Lucas told me that one of the first things you did when you saw her, was get a lecherous grin on your face."

I land another punch. "That was for having the audacity to perv on other women while Asia does everything but flat out tell you to bang her. I'm not salted about not having a girlfriend, you are."

I raise my fist again, pause briefly and punch him in the face again. "That one was just because I felt like it."

"Mphfff" Issei hisses through his busted lips. "bou hve isuess"

"My issue is that I'm horribly lonely. And the fact that my bastard of a best friend somehow managed to get a girlfriend before me." I punch him again. "That was for the back-sass."

* * *

I land in between the two queens and cross my arms in front of my chest, vines of shadow extending from my sleeves and wrapping around their necks as I pull them both towards me, allowing both to collide as I take a step back, only to immediately take another step forwards and hit both of them with a haymaker that clotheslines them.

I hold up a single finger. "Eat this! My special attack!"

I abruptly spin around and dive back into the school building via a ground floor window.

***Cl-Clink***

They both widen their eyes and look down to see that I just pulled a pin to a set of grenades that are attached to their dresses.

They each immediately slap the bombs away, only to widen their eyes as it pulls the pins of nine to ten grenades stuck to the back of their dresses.

In the distance I hear an 'OH MY GOOOOSH! HE DID THE THING!'

Then they both disappear in a massive ball of fire, there is a small twinkle from inside the fire, then landing in my hand is a small glass... thing?

**"Lady Rias' Queen has been retired."**

**"Lord Riser's Queen has been retired."**

"Oh man... I hope I didn't kill them..." I murmur.

**"Rias Gremory has decided to retire, her remaining rooks, bishop, and pawn have been removed as a result."**

"…"

"Faster than expected" I shrug as I look down at the new object that found its way to my hand.

It contains some sort of reddish pink liquid, the cap just a simple red cone, making it look like one of those tear-drop food coloring containers, the bottom half of it however has some gold around the top, bottom and around it as if mimicking jail cell bars, allowing me to see the contents through six glass openings.

"Neat." I hum as drill girl lands next to me, dispelling her wings made of ACTUAL FIRE.

'damn... that's pretty cool... not gonna lie.'

She looks up and widens her eyes. "W-WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?!"

"From the explosion." I yawn.

"Y-You shouldn't have that!"

"Well, I do, what are you going to do about it miss pacifism?"

Her shoulders slump. "N-Nothing."

I wave my hand and an old timey rotary telephone made of shadow appears in my hand, I pick up the receiver, then let go of its base, causing it to float there, I quickly spin the finger wheel around a couple of times, then put the receiver up to my ear.

It rings a couple of times then I hear a an audible *Click* as it connects.

"Yo! It's Lucas, just wanted to let you all know we are going with plan three... k thanx bye."

I put the receiver back on the base then pick it up and dial another number as Devil girl watches on in slight confusion.

"What are you-"

*Click*

"Heeey fucker, just wanted to let you know that your peerage got FUCKED UP, like, were they supposed to be a challenge or something?"

I'm silent for a moment, Ravel paling as she realized I'm calling her elder brother.

"Let me guess, you just said something like 'WHERE ARE YOU?!' Correct? Well, one, this is a one way communication, and two, I could literally be anywhere within this plane of existence and still call you, soooo, I'm just going to sit here and annoy you till you decide to surrender."

* * *

I'm going to KILL that fucking human.

_**'Honestly, you are pretty pathetic, I mean, really, a group of four HUMANS beat your entire group of superpowered lolis and your herds upon herds of fucking milk cows.'**_

I scan through the security cameras once more, but most of them appear to be on the fritz from my queen exploding at that jan- my queen... 'how did they even beat Yunabella?! That should be impossible for any human without some sort of longinus! What the hell is that bullshit?!'

_**'Heeey, just wanted to let you know that this entire time I could have been spouting prayer or something about Big G. just to give you a MASSIVE aneurism... but that's BOOORING! I want to break you like this! Breaking you without abusing the fact that you are a race that can be crippled by a word- a single THREE LETTER word, I mean, it would be fine if it was something ridiculously long and complex like 'Osteoporosis' or 'Kummerspeck' which, if you didn't know, is German for 'Grief Bacon' and well, I thought that was pretty funny and it would be sort of amusing to have it as a crippling weakness, I mean, it's kind of hard to say as well, so that would be a plus~ Cummurspe- Kemmerspoc- Kummerseck- Kummerspeck. Ah there we go.'**_

"MAKE IT STOP!"

_**'buuuut, you all just get weakened by God and not any fun stuff- and oh... I said the word, didn't I? Ah well, you see, where I grew up, we tended to use his name in vain a lot, so it is sort of a character tic that I have a hard time getting rid of, because, you see, Uratama is literally hell on earth, the place 'Big G' abandoned... everyone is already superhuman- or at least the high ranking members in the top ten gangs- I actually saw a yakuza literally twist some guy like a wet towel once... his blood and organs going everywhere and his bone snapping like fucking twigs... yeah that was pretty fucked up, and the guy he was squeezing managed to cut a rocket from an Rpg in half, then of course he stabbed me in the chest with a katana, but hey, I'm Joseph motherfucking Joestar and I have his ability to cheat death, and well, it went in between my lungs and narrowly avoided my heart and out my back, spraying my blood into the eyes of a gunman who had a gun to my head, talk about lucky~ just a millimeter to the right and I would have been a walking Isekai protagonist~ 'I'm not a bad slime' and all that~ well, actually would have probably been neat, but ah well the gunman missfired, and- as missfired implies, missed my head, shot the wall in front of me, causing the bullet to ricochet off up into the ceiling where it hits a screw ever so perfectly it causes it to pop out entirely, theeeen a brick and a metal panel fell on his two friends, making them as dead as grass- which isn't that good of a saying as plants are living creatures technically, but it's a bit of an inside joke and, I could understand saying 'turns them into vegetables' and all that and well...'**_

_**'what was I talking about again?'**_

I clutch the sides of my head. "Please... god make it stop."

I accept the pain in hope that he might put an end to my suffering.

**Bgm: Roundabout (2008 Remastered Version)**

_**'Ah right! I was talking about the time I found a drug cartel smuggling cocaine out of the city though wheels of cheese! Yeah, that was a bad time... they had an armored car... and that was before I found out what my sacred gear did. Wes managed to plug its exhaust port with a rock and then by pure chance, it exploded!'**_

I take a couple of deep breaths, my hands spasming and twitching as I look around, desperately searching for something to expel my rage on.

_**'This should be enough time right?'**_

***Tap Tap Tap***

'w-wait... where is that music coming from?!'

I desperately look around as the clacking of shoes echoes out in the hallway.

_**'Well, then I should probably tell you that basically all of this conversation has been a recording~ I hope you have fun with whatever nine hells future me has planned~'**_

'Wh-What?!'

I leap over the desk and fling my hands forwards and blow out the entire front wall and door with a massive wall of fire.

The principal's chair squeaks as it turns around, revealing the cocky white-haired bastard, fingers steepled in front of his face. "You're a poisoner, Dio Brando."

** ／****＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿ ****_ _  
**** 〈 ****To BE CONTINUED…|/|/  
****＼**￣￣￣￣￣￣~ ~ ￣￣￣

* * *

**I'll be the round-a-bout~ the words will make you out 'n' out I spend the day your waaaay!**

**Anyways I don't know if that to be continued copypasta will transfer over to fanfiction-dot-net, so, I might quickly edit the chapter after looking over it, sorry to the first viewers who may or may not get !$*$*!($(%!^ or the like, and sorry to future viewers if I have to do something like To Be Continued- or [To Be Continued] **

**Also tbh, my aesthetic is calming or depressing music being played while intense shit is going on in the background... like Goku vs Frieza while 'Hello Darkness my old friend' is playing in the background.**

**PS: posting this on Saturday because I was bored... and nobody I follow has updated their fanfictions while i slumbered, soooo i said, 'Fine... ILL DO IT MYSELF!' also i would probably forget to check the 'to be continued' thing if i waited until when i was SUPPOSED to post this in like 3 weeks.**


	12. Chapter 12

**I do not own Dxd, Only the oc and any 'new' sacred gear I have created.**

"Speech"

'Thought'

**"Powerful Entities Talking"** (Such as dragons and angry gods who are shouting)

**[Boost]: Ddraig**

**{Divide} Albion**

* * *

It was a little difficult to sneak into the room while he was in here, but hey, I'd say it was worth it.

He spins around and launches a massive wave of fire at me. "RAAAAAGH!"

"OH SHIT-"

***Explosion***

* * *

I stand with my arms crossed in front of Riser on the roof of the new school building, his attack blew a hole In the wall as I created a flame retardant shadow sphere around myself, then I simply climbed out, using my fake 'Hermit Purple' to pull myself up.

"Well. This is a good of a time as any." I shrug.

He seems to have calmed down, if only slightly, at least he isn't bathing the arena in fire and screaming.

Drill girl floats in the distance watching.

"Well, I suppose before we begin, I have a question to ask you." I hum. "I sort of want to know if you are like all those protagonists in those shitty harem animes Milly makes me watch..."

"So, are you actually such a beta bitch that you are still a virgin after having fourteen girls with assorted slutty clothing hanging around you for god knows how long?"

"of course not!" He growls, only to suddenly smile evilly. "You wish you could have a harem, don't you? Hell, you are still a virgin, aren't you?"

"God, God, God, God, God." I frown as I pocket an object, then clap my hands together in front of myself and rub the palms against each other, then when I pull them apart, I reveal two sets of metal clackers attached to rings wrapped around my middle fingers.

"Well, I'd say that it is time to bid you adeu~" I grin as I start waving my hands.

***CLANG-CLANG-CLANG-CLANG-CLANG-CLANG-CLANG-CLANG-***

"OH MY GOSH IS HE GOING TO-"

I flick my hands upwards so they are raised in mock surrender, to Riser's and Ravel's point of view, the balls disappear entirely as they fold behind my hands, trail down the top of my forearm, bend around my elbow and connect in between my shoulder blades, the four balls wrapping around each other as my shoulder blades locks them in place.

"OH, MY GODS HE DID IT!"

"So?" I ask with a smug grin as I take a step forwards and tilt my head slightly, making sure to keep my hands the way they are so the clackers stay in place. "Where are the clackers?"

Riser leans forwards slightly with narrowed eyes. "I will say that your ability to bullshit is quite impressive, and I thank you for giving me this time to decide how exactly I am going to torture you to death."

"No idea, hm?" I hum. "WHY DON'T YOU HAVE A CLOSER LOOK!"

The clackers are released and flung forwards as I sling my arms downwards, sending both sets of clackers right at Riser's head as the rings slip off my fingers.

He nonchalantly ducks it with a small frown, the clackers crashing into a bit of masonry behind him.

He glares at me as if to say, 'Really? That was your grand scheme?'

"Your next line is 'You lost your strange weapons... I'm not going to give you a change to retrieve them'! To you!"

"You lost your strange weapons... I'm not going to give you a chance to- ***Inhale***"

I hold up a hand to my ear. "Oh? What's that? I must be getting hard of hearing."

Riser snarls and begins to take a step forward.

"Because why would I need to retrieve my weapon if it is going to come right back to me?"

He freezes and quickly turns to look over his shoulder, only to get impaled through the back of the chest by one of the balls.

"Guk-"

The second clacker had connected to the first and was spinning on it as half was stuck in the stonework, it eventually untangled itself and launched itself at Riser, putting him in his current situation.

"NOW TAKE THIS!" I roar as I slide to a halt in front of him and swing my fist towards his face, only to stop an inch from his face, causing him to flinch.

With my other hand I stab him in the chest with a syringe and inject the clear liquid into him. "Honestly I'm getting a little bored, I used all of my jojokes so I just decided to end this now."

I hop back as he sends a wave of fire at me and raises his hands to launch another, but he just freezes.

He doubles over in pain and writhes on the ground, his skin flickering in between fire, and a dark purple splotch.

"Plan one was for Wes to impale you with an ice based holy sword, then just chain you up somewhere and wait for your powers to drain. Plan two was to trap you under a steamroller I would make out of shadows, then have kohaku punch it a lot... then detonate it using my sacred gear..."

"Just surrender already." i sigh as he tries to get up, only to fall back to the floor.

"This is plan three... I just injected you with holy water mixed with hydra venom... even with your kick ass regeneration you will probably die unless you get some sort of medical attention."

"AAAAGH-"

"Now, you would think that holy water would counter-act or at least weaken the venom, and you would be right, that's why I was able to give you so much of it!"

He disappears with a bright flash and an announcement echoes throughout the nearly empty landscape.

**"Riser Phenex has been retired, his remaining bishop has been recalled as a result... Thus, the human team is the victor... Congratulations."**

"Huh... Neat." I hum.

With a flash I am suddenly standing next to Wes, Zen, and Kohaku again.

"That was quite impressive." A man states.

I glance up to see a man with long red hair, he has some sort of silver and golden armor that has ridiculous looking shoulder pads and wears some sort of blue robe underneath. "I s-"

"I'm going to stop you right there and cut to the chase, I told my girlfriend I was going on a walk with my friends, so I maybe only have ten minutes before she starts wondering where I am, women are scary and all that, so I am going to quickly summarize this as quickly as possible so you can teleport me back in time for me to walk home and _not_ deal with a pissed off girl for the rest of the weekend..."

"You assumed I was going to use the wish to break the wedding between your sister and Riser out of the 'goodness of my heart' but the exact words I used when requesting this to be set up that I would break the engagement between Riser and Rias... I never explicitly stated I would be using the wish to do so."

I pull out a hand held tape recorder like police use in movies.

_"So, are you actually such a beta bitch that you are still a virgin after having fourteen girls with assorted slutty clothing hanging around you for god knows how long?"_

_"of course not!"_

My voice and Riser's echo out of the small box as I hand it over to Sirzechs

"The engagement was based around their virginities, that is why Rias attempted to break said agreement by sleeping with Issei, don't ask how I have come into this information, but it may or may not have been me overhearing Issei murmuring to himself about how Rias tried to sleep with him one night then piecing the rest together... so the agreement was already null and void, but Riser just simply refused to announce it until I got him so mad he admitted it just to try and get one over on me... frankly, this entire game went out according to my massive overarching scheme."

"I give the wish to Kohaku because he was deathly serious about using it for something, I told him he could have it, and I keep my word, so you two work out whatever the hell said wish is, please send me back before I have to deal with mildly miffed Milly."

"I expected Riser had already broken the agreement, but it would look bad if I asked him about it without any proof so I have refrained." Sirzechs sagely nods. "and I respect a man who bends over backwards to avoid incurring the wrath of their significant other... you may go."

A red magic circle appears under me and I am shunted back into the human world.

I slowly blink off my teleportation sickness, then let out a long yawn.

"Quite impressive, Lucas."

"Mn?" I hum to see the president of the student council standing there with her arms crossed.

"Sure, it was sort of cool..." I shrug.

"I was unaware you were this powerful." She states.

"what can I say? I do my taxes one leg at a time..." I shrug as I walk past the group. "Now, I need to-"

The door to the O.R.C. Clubroom is kicked open revealing a short blond with twin-tails who looks ***PISSED***

"O-Oh, hey Milly~ what are you doing here? Why do you look so angr- ***Guak***" I am cut off as she blurs forwards and gut punches me, causing me to double over her fist.

I cover my mouth as briefly feel the need to throw up, but once it passes...

"YOU PSYCHO BITCH! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?!"

"WE BOTH KNOW DAMN WELL WHAT THAT WAS FOR! WHY THE HELL WERE YOU IN THAT RATING GAME, LU?!"

"I WAS FUCKING BORED, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN 'WHY WAS I IN THAT RATING GAME?!' THE FUCKER WOULD HAVE COME AFTER ME EVENTUALLY, SO WHY NOT STOP HIM AS SOON A POSSIBLE?!"

Mittelt inhales deeply and rubs the bridge of her nose as the student council stares on in silence.

Her hand suddenly snakes out and grabs my shirt by the collar and tugs me down to her level.

"Meep-"

She presses her lips into my own causing most of the council to widen her eyes and for Tsubaki to nudge Sona with her elbow and wiggle her eyebrows at her.

Mittelt pulls back.

"B-Buah?"

"We're going home you dumbass."

"Buah?"

She grabs my wrist and basically drags me after her.

* * *

"You're a fucking idiot, you know that?" Mittelt growls from her spot on the couch next to me. "Now every single devil in the underworld probably wants to add 'the jojoker who beat a phoenix' into their peerage... I wouldn't even be surprised if the Leviathan tries to find you, seeing as she constantly cosplays as a magical girl."

"Y-You kissed me..."

"Yeah. I did... what are you going to do about it?" The blond smugly asks.

"Why?"

"Weeeell... seeing you pull off such bullshit as you did, I figured you needed a little reward... and well, after about ten minutes into the rating game, and when I got over my feral rage, I thought it was pretty amusing that you and your friends, just simple humans managed to beat a devil peerage which is probably in the top five peerages of young devils... also you should probably watch out for your friends... devil's will probably want them on their peerage as well, but mainly you, the one who not only faught two queens _at once_ and won, but faught riser in a one-on-one and instantly took him down." She hums.

"What can I say?" I ask. "I'm a total badass~"

"Yeah, a fucking grounded badass." The girl growls.

"What?! You're not my fucking mom! You can't do that!"

"I just did." she lays her legs across my lap. "You are trapped here with me- or elsewhere with me- until I say so... if you go on any more wild adventures with your friends, you are going to have to take me with you."

"Fair enough... I just thought you wouldn't want anything to do with a rating game and it would just make you unnecessarily mad." I murmur as I slowly look over to her.

"Oh, blindingly so, but you aren't hurt, and I supoooose you did a good thing... I have heard of Riser, and even though I really don't like or dislike Rias, I know for a fact no woman should ever be subjected to that douchebag." She slowly frowns, only to suddenly smile and get a slightly devious look in her eye. "By the way... Lucas... that was my first ever kiss earlier, so, you better _take responsibility_, okay?"

"It was mine too, bitch, you aren't special." I smile.

She lightly punches my arm and glances over to the Tv. "You're such an asshole sometimes, you know that?"

"Yeah, I do." I slowly nod. "Oh yeah, Riser's little sister looks exactly like you by the way."

"WH- NO SHE DOESN'T!"

"YES, SHE DOES!" I grin. "If you just wore pink and swirled your twin-tails a bit, I literally couldn't tell you two apart."

"There are TONS of differences between us, Lu, don't even joke!"

"Really?" I ask. "You are both blond, have blue eyes, are pretty pale, sort of girly- but you are more of a goth- really like Jojo's... apparently... you are both pretty short-"

"No! I refuse!"

"Oh... I just realized... there is an actual difference between you..." I slowly say, mentally preparing myself for what comes next.

"Aha! I knew it! So, what is it?" She asks.

"She has larger tits than you." I shrug, closing my eyes and waiting for the coming punch.

She swats the back of my head fairly hard. "You pervert!"

She crosses her arms over her chest and turns her upper body away from me. "Hmph!"

I roll my eyes. "You are such a tsundere, you know that?"

"That's it!" She growls as she turns back around and leans forwards slightly, pointing a finger at the tip of my nose. "You, mister, are going to take me on a date!"

"A date?"

"Yes, a date." She nods. "You have been really mean to me today, so you are going to make up for it with a date!"

"O...kay?" I shrug. "That doesn't sound all that bad?"

"Good! You better be ready in ten minutes or ill kick your ass!"

I watch as she stands up and skips out of the room, humming a merry tune.

'…'

'and she is one of the more powerful members of the Grigori? Seriously?'

* * *

**Posting this before Wednesday because I got bored... here you go.**


	13. Chapter 13

**I do not own Dxd, Only the oc and any 'new' sacred gear I have created.**

"Speech"

'Thought'

**"Powerful Entities Talking"** (Such as dragons and angry gods who are shouting)

**[Boost]: Ddraig**

**{Divide} Albion**

* * *

"You know... this is pretty nice." I hum as I let out a long sigh, propping my legs up on the coffee table.

"Mn, yeah." Mittelt hums as she rests her head on my shoulder, staring off at the Tv which is currently in the middle of an Ad.

I glance at the side of her head, wondering if I should drop a certain bomb that would probably sour this calm mood.

'…'

'should I?'

'…'

'or shouldn't I?'

"…"

"Hey."

"Mn?" I hum as I glance over to her... only to be kissed on the lips again.

"MHH!"

Mittelt holds back a chuckle. "***Snrk***\- okay, yeah, that's my favorite thing to do now."

I glance away from her.

We are both silent for a moment.

"I don't understand..." She finally states.

"…" I blink slowly and glance back over to her. "What?"

"I don't understand why you feel the need to hide the lovable dork that is you under your Joseph Joestar impersonation."

"W-W-"

"Look at you! You are adorable when you a flustered!"

I inhale deeply, then exhale.

"Lu, you can drop the persona... it's fine... you don't need to be perfect around me... you don't need to be Joseph Joestar... be yourself."

I lean my head back against the couch and let out a sigh. "Well, this is me... I like to hide my surprise, fear, and general dorkiness because... well, I worked really hard to get this, badass, 'don't fucking mess with me' reputation, and well, I don't really want to lose it."

She pats my shoulder. "It's alright to be flustered and not know the answers sometimes... I wont blame you for it... like I said, you don't need to be perfect around me, Lu... I'll love your imperfections all the same."

"…"

"…"

"That was sappy as fuck." I deadpan.

"And now the moment is ruined!" She scoffs with an amused grin.

"Why do I even try some times you absolute bastard." She snorts lightheartedly.

"because you _love _me?" I ask with a grin.

"You know it, you insecure fuck!" She growls, emphasizing each of the three last words with a poke to my chest.

She goes back to watching tv, but eventually sighs. "Ugh... this arc is just a friggin slog, when do we get to some good shit again?"

I shrug and glance to the side. "We could always do something else?"

She raises an eyebrow and glances over to me. "Like what?"

"…" I tilt my head. "uuuuhhh..."

"Make... out?"

She poorly hides a snort. "Alright."

"Wait, really?"

She simply turns off the tv and straddles my lap, leaning close to my face so our noses are only about an inch apart. "Any other suggestions~?"

"Perhaps we could go to my room, maybe cuddle a bit on my bed... do some _other_ things?" She continues as she huskily whispers into my ear.

I audibly gulp

"Are you getting excited? I can _feel_ that you know."

"C-Cue generic anime cockblock?" I whisper as I glance to the side.

The doorbell rings causing Mittelt to narrow her eyes at let out a loud growl. "UGH! Damnit!"

She stands up and silently stalks over to the door.

I place a hand over my chest to calm my beating heart and take a long and slow breath.

"Alright... that was a thing..." I mutter under my breath. 'hoo boy... that spiraled out of my control fast enough that I legitimately tapped out... well, I guess don't play lust-chicken with supernatural races who supposedly fell for emotions like lust.'

I stand up and walk to the door as well.

Mittelt opens it. "Alright, who are you and what do you want?"

"O-Oh? D-did I get the wrong apartment?" I hear a girl ask on the other side of the door.

"…"

'is that-'

"You?!" Mittelt growls.

"D-Do I know you?"

I let out a long sigh and stand up. 'well, this is going to be fun.'

I walk over to the door and glance out to see the blond, drill-haired, pink wearing, girl from before, but with some Chinese-esque girl in robes behind her.

"Yo. Do you need something?" I ask, briefly nudging Mittelt out of the way.

"O-Oh! So, you are here!" The girl exclaims.

"Yes, I'm standing right in front of you..." I deadpan.

She hands me a pink envelope with a wax seal.

"I formally invite you to a party at the underworld."

"…"

"You family made reservations and had a bunch of food made because they were confident in your brother winning, right?"

"…"

"no..." She states as she awkwardly glances to the side.

"…"

"Yes." She eventually sighs as her shoulders slump.

I look at the envelope and tilt my head slightly. "Well, I'm sorry, but I politely refuse... I don't really want to be the only human at a party full of devils... nothing against the race in particular, but throughout my contact with Rias, about seventy five percent of our conversations has been her trying desperately to get me to join her peerage... and I really don't want to deal with that but with upwards of one hundred people... also I don't have a suit... or a desire to be basically the focal point of the event... and your parents might just flat out murder me for poisoning your brother..."

"…" I gently push the letter back into her hands.

The drill haired girl begins to open her mouth. "Also, it's pretty late, I'm tired, and Milly wouldn't let me go."

Said blond takes this opportunity to poke her head over my shoulder, staring at Ravel with narrowed eyes and a slight pout.

Ravel seems to take this moment to realize what me living with Mittelt could mean as her eyes focus on her.

"…"

She just nods once, lip slightly quivering. Then turns around and begins walking away. "I will not bother you further, then... I hope you have a restful night."

"You too." I call after her.

Mittelt slowly closes the door and frowns. "Okay... I can see the similarities now... I-... It was like looking into a mirror."

"Are you SUUURE your dad didn't have an affair with whoever her mother is."

"Oi! fuck off! My father would-" she freezes, finger raised in objection only to droop slightly as she fully thinks it out. "Absolutely... have done that."

"I'm going to try and find out if he ACTUALLY did it though." She sighs, her shoulders slumping slightly. "And if he did... ohoho I'm going to fucking kill him."

"Speaking of bad things your dad did, I saw him at the mall during our date, he was glaring at me a lot actually... you sure he isn't the type to find and kill me for daring to 'taint his daughter's lips' or something like that."

"HE WHAT?!"

I wince. 'why is she so mad?'

Mittelt grabs my shoulders and starts rapidly shaking me. "ARE YOU SURE IT WAS HIM?!"

"Blond-d baaaangs, black hair- ah-, wears a yukata even though nobody wears- oh god I'm going to be sick- those anymore barring certain festivals... y-yep, it was him."

She releases me as I start rubbing my forehead. "damn whiplash... why the hell are you even so worked up about this in the first place? You don't want him to know that you have a boyfriend or something?"

She grabs the sides of her head. "Nononononono that fucking IDIOT! DOESN'T HE KNOW THAT HE COULD RESTART THE FUCKING GREAT WAR WITH JUST HIS PRESENCE HERE IN KUOH!?"

"Oh."

She grabs my collar and pulls me down to her level. "We HAVE to find him!"

I let out a long sigh as I allow my head to fall backwards with a groan. "He's most likely in that one five-star hotel in the better part of town."

"…"

She slowly blinks as she notices my sudden surge in tiredness. "L-Lu?! What's wrong?!"

"Tired. I want to go to bed..."

I pat her head as I walk past. "Can we deal with your father in the morning?"

She watches me stumble over to the couch and sit down. "W-Well... that girl did say that the devils were going to be at a party today... so they probably wont notice him for one more day... so... sure I guess we can wait."

She steps over to me and tugs me up by my collar. "But your dead wrong if you think your sleeping on the couch tonight, come on you fucking idiot."

She leads me into her room and allows me to faceplant against her comfortable sheets.

I lift my head up. "Ravel is your half-sister... I'd place it at eighty-five percent probability, you both have that 'fallen angel' feel. You should take a DNA test."

And I am asleep before I even lay my head back down, I think Mittelt shouts something, but eh, it's probably going to be fine.

* * *

'can't breathe! Oh god! Am I dying?! Why is it so hard to breathe?! H-half of my body is numb! AM I HAVING A HEART ATTACK?!'

My eyes open to see a strand of blond hair tickling my nose... and Mittelt fast asleep with her head on my chest, her arms wrapped around my torso and squeezing it fairly hard, she is also laying on my arm which I suppose is the thing giving me the numbing sensation.

'oh right... false alarm... she just wanted me to sleep in here.'

She shifts slightly and lets out an adorable little noise in her sleep.

'she is... fucking adorable... how did I ever get lucky enough to get with someone like her?'

She blearily looks up at me with eyes narrowed from tiredness. "Why are you gazing at me longingly fuck-o."

'oh right, her personality...'

'eh, it's endearing... and the banter is good.'

"Hello?" She asks. "Are you going to say something?"

"Your elbow is digging into my ribs." I state with a small smile.

"Deal with it." She scoffs as she lays her head back down. "I need more rest to charge my 'hate batteries'… at this moment I am low charge and apathetic... and bitchy."

"You're always sort of bitchy, Mittelt." I shrug from under her.

She covers my mouth with her hand. "Shhh... sleep time... I can get revenge for that back-sass later."

She readjusts herself then closes her eyes, seemingly going back to sleep.

I blink twice. 'Well, alright then.'

I glance over to the clock sitting on the dresser at the other side of the room.

**5:04**

I reach up with my free arm and scratch the side of my head.

"Mnnnnn-" Mittelt whines. "Stop moving! Pillows don't move!"

"I'm not a-"

"SHUT. Pillows don't talk either!"

I slowly blink about. "Wow... you were right... you are more of a bitch when you first wake up."

She looks up at me with tired eyes again. "I haven't had more than an hour's rest, Lucas... I will fucking CUT YOU."

"…" I stare into her eyes for a moment.

"Why did you only get an hour of sleep?"

A blush slowly creeps over her face.

"D-Did you fucking _molest_ me while I was asleep."

"OF COURSE NOT!" She shrieks.

She is quiet for a moment muttering something so quietly that I could barely hear that she said anything at all, then continues in a louder tone. "and then started worrying about the second great war so I couldn't sleep."

"…"

"What was that first thing?" I ask.

"I..." The next words are still two quiet for me to hear.

"Mittelt."

"I-I just checked some things out... N-No biggie."

"…"

"…"

We stare at each other in silence for an uncomfortable ten seconds.

"Can we go back to sleep now?" She asks.

"Fine..." I sigh.

* * *

"So, he is somewhere in there?" Mittelt asks as we gaze up to a colossal hotel.

"Probably." I hum. "Let's check the fifth floor first... then move to the seventh."

"…"

"Why the fifth?"

"Eh, I'm feeling lucky." I shrug. "Five stars... fifth floor... your dad would probably love that~"

"…"

"And why did you skip six?" She questions with a raised eyebrow.

"Because three sixes are the number of the beast, there's absolutely no way he's on that floor." I state with a blank deadpan expression, as if I was stating an absolute fact like 'the sky is blue'.

"W-"

She inhales deeply then exhales. "You know what? I'm not even going to question it... the most random shit seems to work out fine for you... how going out for sandwiches managed to get us a lead on the fallen angels in the church, I don't know, but hey, if it works it works~"

I shrug as we both walk through the front door.

"Are you sure you don't have Taelos Karma?" She asks.

"The fuck is that?"

"A Longinus Sacred Gear... said to grant its wielder the ability to warp probability."

'wait... what? Is that a thing? D-do I have Taelos Karma?!'

**No 100%**

't-then what is this?!'

**? 100%**

"N-Nah, I don't have that. Just lucky." I hum, hiding my brief internal panic.

"They are known to be lucky because they use their gear to force the best outcome~ you could have it and not even know~"

I blink across the lobby to see a black haired- but blond banged- man speaking to some white-haired teen in a leather jacket who looks like he wants to be ANYWHERE but right beside the older, yukata wearing man.

"…"

"Lu?"

I grab the top of her head and turn her head ever so slightly so she is looking where I am looking.

"…"

I release her head as she closes her eyes and smiles brightly.

The smile gets a little strained and I can feel literal waves of malice flow off her body.

'I'm scared.'

She slowly walks over.

"-And that is why you should never date a maid café waitress."

The white-haired delinquent's shoulders slump and he lets out a sigh. "Why am I even here?"

I follow after Mittelt, slowly and cautiously.

"And that's not even close to the time where I was forced to sprint in the nude to get away from an angry husband... he might have been human, but damn, he had good aim and an heck of an arm~ I swear, some of those shoes he threw probably would have bruised me if I didn't have cat like reflexes~"

"Why are you telling me this?!"

"Aww, come on Vali, this is guy talk... you ever found a girl you fancied? Perhaps a school... girl? Or something?"

He is silent for a couple more seconds. "So are you a tit guy or an ass man-"

***Ahem***

He turns to look at Milly who has her arms crossed over her chest, her foot tapping impatiently, a menacing glare and a frown on her face.

Mittelt's father blinks twice, then quickly pales. "O-Oh. Mittelt... I did a-assign you to this city... d-didn't I?"

"_We need to talk._" She growls.

He audibly gulps. "But do we_ really_, though?"

Her eyes narrow as the white-haired teen- who isn't me- slowly looks between the three of us.

"What the hell is going on-"

* * *

**This fic is fucking CURSED I stg I make more mistakes in this than ANY of my other ones... I fucking wrote 'Eyed' when I wanted to write 'HEAD'! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS STORY?! (This fic also broke my rightclick edit for a good three hours... so yes, this fic is SO fucking cursed... it only fixed itself after I went to ANOTHER fic and tried to edit there.)**

**TLDR: this fic makes me want to fucking die, but I'm not dropping it until the end of the kokabiel arc because I have a fucking PLAN for that.**


	14. Chapter 14

**I do not own Dxd, Only the oc and any 'new' sacred gear I have created.**

"Speech"

'Thought'

**"Powerful Entities Talking"** (Such as dragons and angry gods who are shouting)

**[Boost]: Ddraig**

**{Divide} Albion**

* * *

Mittelt had dragged her father up to his room to have a chat... and well, I had nothing better to do so I sort of followed along... white haired guy did so as well.

I sit in a leather chair across from the white-haired teen- I think Mittelt's father called him Vali- with my arms crossed, mostly ignoring the shouts of one-sided rage and accusation coming from the other room.

Also maybe whimpering, but not from Mittelt.

I glance around the room to see several expensive looking paintings, a flat screen, a wine rack, a shelf absolutely full of games.

I look back to the teen in front of me who is looking at me with mild interest.

"So... you are the one who beat the Phoenix's peerage nearly single handedly." He states.

"Yeah. That's me... what of it?" I mutter.

"You don't look that strong."

My right eyebrow twitches. "Fuck you. I could kick your ass albino basic bitch."

His eyes narrow slightly and we just sit in silence for about a minute, ignoring the sounds of... I think it was chairs brutally smashing in the other room... or it was Mittelt's father's kneecaps... either works~.

"So." I state as I clap my hands together.

I open them revealing a deck of cards. "You know how to play Uno?"

"…"

"YOU WHAT?!" A small feminine hand punches through the wall to the left of us. "YOU FUCKING MANSLUT YOU COULDN'T KEEP YOUR DICK OUT OF OOOONE WOMAN COULD YOU?! YOU JUST HAAAAD TO FUCK A DEVIL DIDN'T YOU?! STAND STILL YOU FUCKING **BASTARD**!"

***CRASH***

"STOP DODGING! I AM GOING TO REMOVE A THIRD OF YOUR LIFE EXPECTANCY IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!"

Vali and I blankly stare at each other in silence.

"I do..." He finally says.

"Nice." I grin as I begin dealing the cards.

* * *

"Draw four, green, skip you, skip you, draw two, reverse it back to me, reverse it back to me, Uno, red five."

"H-How are you doing this?! I shuffled the cards this time! You are cheating somehow, you bastard!"

"I'm just lucky." I shrug. "Another round?"

He narrows his eyes, letting out an annoyed hiss through his lips. "Ffffffine."

I deal out the cards and he quickly smirks as he looks over his hand of seven cards.

"You can go first." I announce

He puts down a red two, which is followed by my own blue two, then he puts down a blue seven.

I lay down a Yugioh card.

"I play pot of greed- wait no wrong system..." I flip the card revealing that on the back is a blue draw two. "draw two cards."

"Tch-" he stops as he looks at his two new cards and slowly smiles. "ohoho you are going to _regret_ that."

I put down a blue three, causing Vali to change it to green with a green three.

I put down a green skip, then a blue skip, then a red skip.

"Uno."

I lay down a red draw two causing him to slam his cards down, revealing that he had two green draw twos, one draw four, a red skip, a red reverse, and a color change card.

"THAT'S BULLSHIT!"

I shrug. "That's just how it goes sometime-"

"YOU HAD BETTER BE GLAD THAT THE DEVILS IN THIS TOWN ARE FUCKING INEPT OR I WOULD HAVE ALREADY DRAGGED YOUR SORRY ASS BACK TO THE FUCKING GRIGORI!" Mittelt roars as she slams open the door.

"My leg!"

"OH CRY ME A RIVER, BITCH! YOU BETTER BE GLAD I ONLY BROKE ONE! IF I EVER FIND OUT THAT I HAVE _ANOTHER _SIBLING YOU BETTER BE DAMN SURE I'M FUCKING NEUTERING YOU!"

She stops up to me, grabs my collar, and pulls me up. "We are leaving, Lucas."

She drags me to the door. "B-But my uno cards-"

"_Shut. It._" I'm sort of pissed at you as well because you were right."

"About the Pheonix thing, or just in general." I ask with a slightly smug smile as we leave, the door closing behind us.

She immediately spins one hundred and eighty degrees, creating a silence spell around us, and pointing a finger at my chin. "Don't you FUCKING test me right now, Lu, I am violent, angry, and an absolute BITCH. Now. If you would pleaaase follow me back home so I can find my fucking HALF SISTER!"

I slowly blink. "I'll be quiet now."

"Thank you..." She sighs. "Sorry for being a bitch right now, it's just... my world is changing y'know? Everything would have been fine _if my father could actually keep it in his pants_, but nooo have an affair with the wife of the head of a devil house... I don't even know how or when he managed that, but OKAY. I'm fucking calm."

"If your father could keep it in his pants, I wouldn't have you, now would I?" I ask, placing my hand on her shoulder.

She inhales deeply and lets out a long breath, then looks me in the eyes. "That was sappy as fuck, but... it helped... thanks."

I flash her two thumbs up as i let her go. "It's what I'm here for."

She smiles lightly then interlocks her fingers with my own. "Alright, let's go."

* * *

I lay down a stack of papers on Rias' desk and smile brightly. "I quit."

She blinks slowly, contemplating what I just said. "What? Quit what?"

"I quit the O.R.C." I state with a large grin.

"W-WHAT?! Y-You can't!"

"Rias, Rias, Rias, the moment you let an absolute bitch like her-" I point to Pauline who is lounging on the sofa behind me, she gestures at me with her palms facing up to the ceiling as if to say. 'the fuck, man'

"-Into this club, I left."

"Y-You can't just suddenly leave the club, you know!"

"Oh, actually I can, the paperwork is in that stack."

"I know about that rule, and you have to get the permission of the club leader, why would I agree to-"

I pull out of a tape recorder and play it. "Lucas, thank you sososososososo much for saving me from that arrogant bastard! If there is ANYTHING I can do for you, please just let me know."

"Now, this club is seriously cutting into the time I can spend with my girlfriend, and Pauline spent most of the last three years mentally, physically, and emotionally fucking me over so I'm sorry if the exact moment you decide to add her to this club, I decide to leave, but honestly, you brought this on yourself when you revived some random girl you didn't even know to be in your peerage." I state.

A bright orange sigil appears on the floor in the corner of the room, then with a simple flash of fire, a short girl... wearing a pink dress frilly... with drill-like curls in her hair... and blue eyes... appears...

Everyone in the room turns to look at her, causing her to balk at the sudden attention. "O-Oh I-I uh-"

"Well, that's... convenient." I hum.

I point to her. "You, Drill girl, my girlfriend wants to have a word with you."

She flinches at my blank deadpan. "Y-You don't even remember my name?"

"I do." I scoff. "It's Ravel Phenex, right?"

"H-He remembered my name!" She whispers under her breath.

"…"

I slowly glance over to Rias. "Anywaaays, I quit the O.R.C. hope you all have a good life, except you Pauline, I hope you step on a singular lego and stub your toe... then fall down the stairs into a garbage compactor..."

"Oi! What the fuck did I do?!"

"You caved in my face with a bat. You are lucky I'm an absolute badass- and probably immortal- or I would have fucked died when sent me through a building _as a human_. I wouldn't be surprised if big G himself crawls out of heaven purely to smite you just because he fears his own creation just as much as I do."

I point at the phoenix girl. "You. Come with me."

"O-Oh- u-uh a-alright!"

* * *

I blink slowly as I look to several suited servants moving boxes into the apartment next to Mittelt's.

"…"

I cast a glance over my shoulder towards Mittelt 2 Electric boogaloo, causing her to blush and look away bashfully.

"Are you moving into the apartment next to ours?"

"Y-Yeah..."

'When I altered probability to meet her again... I really didn't expect this...'

"Why?"

"W-Well, I start at Kuoh Academy next week." She quietly stutters.

"I see." I blandly deadpan. "Why?"

"W-Well, I simply wished to see how human schools are like..." She trails off.

"And? Why here?" I ask.

"W-Well, Kuoh already has several devil Heiresses in it s-so I would be safer... as for the building, t-this was one of the cheapest locations near Kuoh Academy-"

"Aren't you from a noble family?" I mutter to mostly myself.

"And, well, it suits my needs perfectly, nobody is staying with me, so a one bedroom, one-bathroom apartment is perfectly suited for me!" She continues as if she hadn't left off.

"Mhm..." I slowly hum as I step around the several butlers and maids carrying boxes of 'weeb shit' into the building... Figurines, Posters, Limited Edition toys, Dvds, clothing... honestly a lot of stuff.

"Your family was okay with you staying out here?" I ask.

Her smile briefly lessens, but comes back full force. "Oh, well, they thought it was a wonderful idea for me to get out of the house for a while."

"Neat."

'Probability that she will take whatever Mittelt says well?'

**5.43%**

'one hundred percent it is...'

A wave of nausea hits me as I watch the numbers rocket up. 'hoo boy.'

I wipe a little sweat off my forehead as we reach the apartment.

"Here we are." I hum as I gesture to the door.

I pull out a key and unlock the door.

"Mittelt, I'm back, I finally quit the O.R.C. and I found the girl you wanted to speak to." I call out into the apartment.

"W-What?! I told you I wanted to speak with her an hour ago! How did you quit the club AAAAND find her in less time than it takes me to get a shower!" She calls out from her- technically our now that I think about it- bedroom.

"I'm just awesome like that." I call back. "Now finish drying your hair and get out here! I don't want her to get bored!"

"O-Oh! I couldn't possibly be bored!" The girl exclaims as we move over to the living room and sit down. "Everything up here is so new and fun!"

She pouts slightly. "Back home I never really went out much."

"Why not?"

"W-Well, you know... Introvertedness..."

"Mn... well, I pretty much always went outside... but I don't think that's a good thing because my city was pretty bad."

"Bad?"

"oh yeah, horrible." I scoff. "Gangs, corrupt officers, drugs, did you even listen to that recording I put by that shadow phone?"

"W-WAIT T-That actually happened?! I-I just thought you were making stuff up to annoy my b-brother!"

"Nope. It actually happened." I hum "My childhood was pretty messed up... I actually have a pretty large scar in the center of my chest and in between my shoulder blades... it never really faded."

"W-W- o-oh my gosh I'm so sorry!"

"Why are you sorry?" I frown. "You didn't do it... and it happened such a long time ago that it really doesn't matter anymore... you didn't even bring it up, I did."

The bedroom door opens, revealing Mittelt dressed in casual attire of a simple black t-shirt and sweatpants.

She finishes tying up her second pigtail and hops over the back of the couch, landing beside me.

"Alright, then. let's get this over with~" she hums with a slight wince and a nervous teeter near the end

She looks over to Ravel who had sat down in the love seat to our right.

She takes a deep breath, then presses the tips of her fingers together. "You may not like this, hell I don't like this... but... we can't change it."

She stands up, crossing her arms over her chest.

"My name is Mittelt..." She takes another deep breath.

***Floomph***

She allows her three pairs of wings to sprout from her back, one of the bottom ones hitting me in the face as they appear, causing me to sputter slightly.

'oh wow... her feathers are pretty glossy... must be pretty annoying to clean... is that why she takes so long in the shower?'

"I am the six-winged daughter of Azazel..."

'oh wow, lavender? that smells sort of nice.' I note as I peek in between the sixth and fourth wing.

"W-W-What... Y-You are dating a f-fallen a-angel?" Ravel whispers, looking a little startled, most likely thinking that Mittelt is going to flat out erase her now that she revealed herself.

'oh gods. Here we go'

"And you... are my half-sister."

"…"

_"WHAT?!"_

* * *

**Posting this a little early, don't expect to see me until next Wednesday... or, you know... whenever I break that promise and post like on Saturday again...**

**also noticed that sometimes during the time i transfer stories, Fanfic seems to erase some spaces and quotation marks around Italicized words... so that's a little annoying~**

**Anyways, see ya!**


	15. Chapter 15

**I do not own Dxd, Only the oc and any 'new' sacred gear I have created.**

"Speech"

'Thought'

**"Powerful Entities Talking"** (Such as dragons and angry gods who are shouting)

**[Boost]: Ddraig**

**{Divide} Albion**

* * *

Tears threaten to spill out of Ravel's eyes. "N-No! Y-Your wrong!"

Mittelt retracts her wings and lets out a long sigh. "Sadly, I'm not..."

Ravel sniffles. "B-But why?! Why me?!"

"Sometimes fate is just a bitch." I shrug.

"T-They... always did treat me a little differently..." Ravel whispers.

She stands up and lets out her wings... originally, they were simply just two plumes of fire, but now, they shift, and morph, leaving her with a single pair feathered wings that are made of fire. "M-My wings looked differently than the rest of my f-family's... I had to use constant effort to mold and change the fire to be like theirs"

"I-If what you told me I-is correct... my mother must have always known... she was always hard on me..."

Mittelt steps over to Ravel and wraps her arms around the crying girl. "Hey... it's fine, you are going to be okay... your sister is here for you, and I'm going to make damn sure you get the familial love you deserve."

Mittelt has to stand on her tippy toes to allow Ravel to cry into her shoulder.

She glances at me, then makes a calling motion with her hand.

'ah. She wants her phone.'

I get up and retrieve her phone from her room and hand it to her.

She slides it open, then goes to her text messages and clicks on one.

**Azazel:**

She types in a message.

**"I hate you."**

She then takes a quick audio recording of Ravel sobbing into her shoulder and links it to the message.

She then hits send with a glare.

* * *

After about thirty minutes, Ravel has finished crying... or well, more like she has run out of tears of cry.

"Do you feel better?" Mittelt asks from her spot seated next to me, Ravel's face still pressed into her shoulder.

"M-Mhm..." She quietly hums.

"Alright. I'm going to get up for a second, okay?"

"W-Wait-" the drill-haired girl protests.

Mittelt moves the girl so now she is leaning on me, causing her face to flush slightly as she looks up at me with red puffy eyes.

"Lu. Hold her. Give her all the attention and love that she desperately needs, I need to make a call."

"Remember, Silence spell." I deadpan.

Mittelt nods once and starts dialing a number on her phone as she stalks away, slamming her bedroom door behind me.

I look down to the girl leaning on me. "Look... I'm not really in my... 'element' with heart felt moments like this, I'm sorry if I don't know what to say, or what to do, but... I'll try my best to make you feel better... so, do you need anything?"

"Mn-Mnn." She mumbles, signifying a 'No'

"Alright then..."

* * *

Ravel is now asleep, and Mittelt is still in her little call, sooooo time to initiate my plan...

'Probability that Mittelt's father will stub his toe.'

**5.1%**

'one hundred percent it is.'

I feel a wave of mental exhaustion.

'Probability that Mittelt's father will spill scalding coffee onto his crotch?'

**0.01%**

'ah. I see, he isn't even holding a cup of coffee...'

'one hundred percent.'

Another wave hits me, nearly knocking me unconscious.

'Probability that in his pain induced state, he will fall out of the fifth floor window?'

**0.4%**

'_ONE HUNDRED PERCENT IT IS-._'

* * *

**Pov: Mittelt.**

I had just finished my call with _my father_...

Yeah, he is _not _one of my favorite people right now, but anyways, he somehow found himself in great pain to my surprise... I had thought I was going to be forced to go over there and strangle him, but he stubbed his toe, his coffee machine sparked to life and sprayed boiling coffee over his crotch, then he fell out of his window and plummeted over fifty feet to the ground below...

And, much to my enjoyment, I heard ALL of it.

"Alright... now that my call is out of the way-" I begin as I leave my room, only to stare blankly at Ravel and Lucas, both fast asleep on the couch.

"…"

I glance over to the digital clock sitting on the tv cabinet revealing that only thirty minutes have passed.

"…"

'I'm sorry, WHAT?!'

I pout slightly as I slowly walk over to the two and lightly sit beside Lucas.

'ooooh let me guess, my little sister has absolutely _fallen_ for you, hm?'

I internally groan at my pun. 'oh damnit, that was horrible... Lu, you have rubbed off on me in the worst of ways...'

Ravel lets out a low groan in her sleep causing me to sigh and lay my head on Lucas' other shoulder.

'I guess I could share him... with you, my little sister...'

I glance to her chest and pout... 'even though you are technically bigger than me height and... size... wise.'

* * *

**Pov: Lucas**

'ugh... my arms...' I frown as look down to the two appendages, each with crisscrossing lines and indents pressed into the skin from the two girls chatting at the kitchen table laying on them and cutting of circulation.

'eh, that'll fix eventually.'

"So, how do you like your omelet?" I ask over my shoulder.

"O-Oh! Just chives and cheese..." The drill-haired girl responds.

"Alright then." I shrug, as I fight back a yawn.

I flip the pan upwards, causing the current ommlet to flip through the air and land back in the pan, perfectly folded.

"Still got it..." I mutter to myself as I slide it out of the pan and onto a plate.

"Mittelt." I state as I lay the plate on the table. "Ravel, yours will be done in a second."

I walk back over to the stove and crack an egg into a bowl with one hand, then followed by a second

"I-I never expected him to be this good at cooking..." Ravel whispers to Mittelt.

"It's luck, really." I hum over my shoulder. "I like baking more, personally... but eh, no parents meant I had to learn most skills for myself... cooking, cleaning, how to fold clothes..."

"Taxes?" Mittelt asks as she begins eating.

"Not taxes." I frown as I whisk the eggs with a fork. "Honestly, you expect me- a person who is from a town where crime is 'legal'- to know how to do his taxes?"

"Eh, yeah, it's really a human thing... supernatural creatures don't really bother with them anyways... who's going to get us? The Magic IRS?"

"You'll definitely get arrested by the Magic Police if you keep saying blasphemous words like that, Mittelt." I snort as I bring out a cutting board and a knife. "A lot of chives, or just a few?"

"U-Uh an average amount?" Ravel says.

"Alright." I shrug as I pull said plant out of the fridge, giving them a brief wash before

"Oh yeah, like the magic police could take me! Them and what magic army?" Mittelt asks.

"Probably regular angels... those are about justice, right?" I ask.

"Ugh! They WOULD create a magic IRS, wouldn't they!" The fallen scoffs.

"Why are you acting like there is going to be a second great war if Mittelt doesn't pay her taxes?" Ravel slowly asks.

"Banter." I hum as I dump a handful of finely chopped chives into the beaten eggs, after another mix I dump the ingredients into the pan. "So, how did we go from talking about cooking to tax evasion?"

"Hrm..." Mittelt hums. "I dunno."

"I am quite confused as well." Ravel states. "Folding her hands in her lap with a fake smile."

I let out a sigh and glance over to Mittelt. "We have to fix her."

"I know... it's horrible." She sighs as well.

"P-Pardon? 'Fix... me?' I don't... understand?" The drill haired girl questions.

"You are too proper... I liked it better when you were fangirling about me being Joseph Joestar." I shrug dumping a handful of cheese into the cooking eggs as I give it a stir.

"O-Oh! I'm sorry." She whispers.

"I'll take shy over high class and proper." I shrug. "Honestly if I had to go to a fancy dinner or some sort of ball where I had to watch my actions at all times, I would probably just bite the bullet and commit."

"Ugh, yeah, devil society is a complete mess..." Mittelt scoffs. "Whenever I was in a devil's territory, killing vampires or stray yokai I always had to watch what I said, they just take every insult too seriously- no offence, Ravel- slip up one time and tell them how annoying they are being, then bam, the second great war after my dad hears I got killed by some snooty red-haired bimbo and goes on a warpath."

"I feel like you are projecting... just a bit..." I hum.

She crosses her arms over her chest. "Hmph! Of course, I am... I just made you join her club because it seemed like the thing that would annoy you the most at the time... and well, it sort of backfired when we started dating and you were forced to hang out there for a couple more hours after school... personally I'm glad you quit."

"Of course I quit... can you honestly say that you wouldn't quit if they had let someone who had almost killed you on multiple occasions join?"

"W-What?" Ravel asks.

"Also, I really don't think Rias could kill you."

"Of course not." Mittelt snorts.

"Omelet's done." I hum as I flip it out of the pan and onto a plate, causing it to fold perfectly like the other.

I lay the plate down on the table and place the pan and bowl I had been using in the sink.

"This is... surprisingly good..." Ravel murmurs.

"Of course, it is, I made it." I grin.

"You and your culinary arrogance." Mittelt scoffs.

"Hey. It's not my fault that everything I make is absolutely perfect and you burn water." I snort with a shrug. "What did you even do before you met me? Live your life on mountain dew and doritos or something?"

"Tv Dinners... just... Tv Dinners..." She sighs.

"Yeesh, that might actually be worse than what I just suggested." I hum as I run some hot water in the pan and bowl.

I wash my hands and walk towards the front door, grabbing my shoes. "Anyways, Ravel, school starts in like an hour, so you should leave here in about thirty minutes if you want to get a good time... I'm going out on a little jog."

* * *

"HEY YOU!"

I slowly blink and turn my head to the sound of the voice, then point towards my face.

A man in a black leather jacket is standing there with his arms crossed.

"Yes, you. White haired bastard." He snarls.

I let out an amused huff and straighten up slightly.

"Yes? I am indeed a white haired bastard... What business do you have with me?"

"I heard from a couple of my boys that you'se from Uratama."

"I'm sorry, 'You'se'?" I ask. "Seriously?"

His eyes narrow and he grits his teeth. "You won't be laughing after we're through with you!"

"'We'?"

I glance around to see thugs slowly surrounding me.

"Did I walk onto a musical set?"

"Kick his ass." The leader growls.

I flash them all a cocky grin and motion for them to attack me.

* * *

I weave through a flurry of punches.

"Come on. That's it?" I smirk. "I thought you were going to kill me? What happened to that?"

I strike the side of his fist with the back of my hand, pushing it just far enough to miss my head with a small grin.

I punch the side of another attack.

I begin blocking and deflecting all of his attacks with one hand.

I knee him in the stomach causing him to slowly stumble backwards "G-Guh..."

I grin cockily as his hands twitch closed "_you bastard_."

"DIEEEE!" He roars as he punches forwards.

I grab his wrist and slip under his arm. "Hup-"

I twist his arm backwards, popping it out of the socket as he falls to his knees.

"Noooow." I hum. "I'm going to tell you EXACTLY how this is going to go."

"You are going to pick yourself up. Call a couple ambulances for your friends. And run."

"and if I EVER see your ugly face again you are going to regret it." I growl.

I let out a small huff as I let go of his arm and kick his back, leading him to faceplant on the pavement. "I do have to commend you though... not everyone has the balls to continue attacking a man who previously took out thirty of his friends in one on thirty combat... so, while you are a weak bitch, you have my respect."

I place my hands into my pockets and glance around the battlefield of twitching, groaning, and unconscious bodies.

I look up to see a crowd of Kuoh students.

"…"

I turn around and start walking. "Welp. I need to get to school."

* * *

"School is pretty fun!" Ravel beams from over at her seat to the left of me.

"I'm glad you think so, Ravel." I sigh, ignoring the blatant glares of the rest of the class as I speak to the 'new girl'.

"Ugh! Damn pretty boy bastard!"

I glance to the left with a cold glare, causing the shaved headed student with big ears to freeze in place.

A couple seconds later I look away with a scoff.

It has pretty much spread across the entire academy that I am an absolutely monster when it comes to fighting... and that has... saved my image somewhat?

Sort of strange... I still get some shit from the boys but they don't take it too far considering I beat the shit out of thirty guys wielding bats and shit with my bare hands, but the girls have practically stopped bothering me... and sort of seem interested in me... like just a guilty pleasure fantasy of me finding them alone in the locker room or something... damn horny high school students.

"mn."

I glance over to the white haired loli standing at the front of my desk.

"…"

"Need something, Koneko?"

"Rias wants to speak with you..." She hums disinterestedly.

I take a deep breath and breathe out. "One week. Literally one week is all she was able to hold out..."

"It's fairly important." Koneko deadpans.

"Well, I guess I'll be the judge of that." I sigh as I stand up.

"Your girlfriend will be there." The loli continues.

"Oh, piss." I frown as I glance over to Ravel. "You might want to come as well, then."

"mn." Koneko hums. "Her presence isn't required."

The blond and the white-haired girl lock eyes, seemingly having a mental battle.

"Well, lead the way, then." I scoff, breaking their little staring contest.

"Mn." Koneko hums again as she turns around and walks out of the room.

I shrug, look to Ravel, then we both follow.

* * *

**Welp! The Kokabiel arc is finally starting... and as I play my game of astral-mind-chicken with the plot of dxd, I am quickly swerving out of the way as I get too spooked... I have decided that I am going to yeet our three main protaganists into another world similar to Dxd! But it really isn't that well known! (No, it's not testament of sister new devil... that might be EVEN WORSE than Dxd surprisingly... I didn't think you could get worse than dxd unless it is just flat out porn... but they somehow managed it!) **

**Hell, I don't think there is a SINGLE fanfic about it even though it has an anime adaptation... wish it would get a season 2 though :C bit more of a comedy than ecchi though... (Even though it is a harem anime) and the plot is... okay I guess... it kept me entertained and had me interested enough so that when it was coming out weekly I waited for each episode in anticipation... and at least finished the manga for it (It is still coming out, but it updates SOOOO fucking slow! (there have only been 3 chapters updated in 2020) **

**(Also, please note that it is only similar in the way that supernatural creatures exist, special family-based powers, as does heaven and the underworld... there are a second reason why I want to yeet the Azazel duo and Lucas into it though... but I'm going to keep a little quiet on it for now... if any of you manage to guess it, you get an astral internet cookie...)**

**I'm fucking tired...**


	16. Chapter 16

**I do not own Dxd, Only the oc and any 'new' sacred gear I have created.**

"Speech"

'Thought'

**"Powerful Entities Talking"** (Such as dragons and angry gods who are shouting)

**[Boost]: Ddraig**

**{Divide} Albion**

* * *

"Alright, Rias what the fuck do you want this time?" I growl as I enter the room, arms crossed.

Mittelt is sitting down on the sofa with her arms crossed, looking down at the floor intently, seemingly deep in thought.

"mn." I hum as I just walk across the room and sit beside her on the Couch, Ravel following along and sitting just to the left of me.

"Ah... Lucas... I am glad that you could join us." Rias announces from her desk at the front of the room.

"What is it, Rias..." I sigh. "Ten words or less."

"Exorcists have requested a meeting to discuss a certain problem that Mittelt here has informed me is that Kokabiel has stolen several Excalibur fragments."

"That was twenty four." I deadpan.

"mn" she pouts.

"Sooooo" I hum as I slowly look over to Mittelt. "What's the plan?"

"…"

"…"

"…"

I reach over and tap her on the shoulder, causing her to briefly look at me, but then look down to the ground in thought.

'probability that I can find a way that she does something other than mope?'

**100%.**

"Flat bitch." I scoff as I fold my hands behind my head, causing Ravel to gasp.

Mittelt predictably hits my knuckles with the palm of her hand.

She glares at me for a moment... then goes back to looking at the floor.

"Oh, my gods SAY SOMETHING!"

"I'M TRYING TO THINK BITCH, SHUT THE HELL UP!" She roars at me.

"Tell me what we are dealing with, THEEEEN go back to thinking." I respond.

"I don't like repeating myself so I'm waiting until those damn exorcists get here." She growls.

I glance to Rias.

"They are on their way. Sona is bringing them now." She announces.

"Is... this how you two always act?" Rias eventually asks. "S-Sorry if this might be a little rude, but your relationship seems a little... toxic..."

"Better than yours biiiitch." I scoff as I stretch.

She opens her mouth to say something, but I hold up a hand "abababa, we aren't talking about my relationship with Mittelt right now, we are talking about exorcists and about the fuck an 'Excalibur Fragment' is."

"You know the sword Excalibur?" Pauline asks.

"Yeah?" I ask with a raised eyebrow, accepting that if anyone is going to give me a short answer, it'd be her or the white-haired midget.

"Basically, fragments of that forged into their own swords." she explains.

"Mn. In under fifteen words... nice." I hum.

The door opens revealing Sona Shitori... followed by two girls in cloaks, one with a massive covered object on her back.

Sona nods politely then leaves us to our conversation

One of the exorcists pulls down her hood as she sits down across from Mittelt, Ravel, and I, she has short blue hair that reaches her chin and has a green streak over her right eye. "Thank you for speaking with us today..."

The other exorcist follows along, revealing long brown hair that has been tied up into two twin tails that each reach her butt. "My name is Irina! Irina Shidou!"

"And my name is Xenovia." The blue haired one murmurs before looking to Mittelt. "I wasn't aware you allowed _her kind_ here... they are the reason this entire mess started in the first place."

I narrow my eyes. "Listen here, bitch. I honestly don't really care what that ten-winged bastard has done... _it will work out_... but if you think I am going to sit here and let you insult Mittelt you have another thing coming."

The brown haired exorcist seems briefly caught off guard. "H-Huh? You are actually defending her?"

"Defending her from what? What are her crimes? Existing? Sharing the same race with a genocidal maniac? Humans aren't exactly innocent of that crime either you know."

Mittelt takes this time to look up with a frown. "Alright, basically, Kokabiel has betrayed the Grigori along with dozens of other fallen angels, now, this normally wouldn't be a problem, but more than half of them has more than four wings... and most- if not all- of them are survivors from the great war... there have been reports of twelve singular winged angels, eight four-winged, four six-winged, t-two eight winged, and Kokabiel himself with ten wings."

Ravel lets out a small whimper, probably never having to deal with anything like this during her life in hell.

That statement sounds a little weird...

"If you are done with your blatant racism, we can figure out how to defeat him and get back the stolen Excalibur fragments."

"Actually..." Xenovia interjects. "We are here to ask for you to stay out of this."

"…"

"E-Excuse me?" Rias asks.

Mittelt slowly blinks. "Let me get this straight... you TWO HUMANS want to fight upwards of thirty fallen angels by yourself..."

"Yeah..." I nod. "That's REALLY dumb, a simple four winged fallen angel survived a point blank double barrel shotgun slug shot to the throat... if you honestly think that you can fight eight of those while fighting four things more than five times as strong, then two more than five times that... then another five times that... you're just flat out suicidal."

"Lucas. You are really lowballing their power..." Mittelt sighs.

"It doesn't change the fact that if these fucking idiots don't work with us, they are going to absolutely get obliterated by those fallen angels."

"They... kind of have a point, Xenovia." The brunette says to the blue-ette. "I would have understood if they had just sent the two of us after Kokabiel, that, while difficult, would technically be possible for us to solve... but Kokabiel and several fallen with more than six wings? The probability for our success is less than one percent!"

'it's Zero, but she is technically right...'

"So what?" The blue haired girl asks. "Do you propose we ally ourselves with these devils? Perhaps that filthy fallen?"

My right eyebrow twitches.

"Three words." I scoff. "Three words to absolutely break you. First one starts with a G, second starts with an I and third starts with a D."

"Maybe it would be... wise?" The twin tailed girl asks.

"It would..." I slowly nod. "But I swear, if you make another remark towards Mittelt, I'm throwing you through the wall."

"Tch- as if you could." The blue haired girl scoffs.

"Do you care to test that?" I frown, narrowing my eyes.

The girl looks away with an annoyed grimace, looking for anything possible in the room to get distracted by.

Her eyes stop on Asia. "You... you are that filthy heretic, aren't y-"

***CRASH***

"Oops... my hand slipped." I frown as I lower my fist, a large hole punched cleanly through the wall as dust rains down upon me.

"XENOVIA!" The brunette shouts as she leaps out the hole, looking for her friend.

"LU WHAT THE FUCK?!" Mittlet shouts. "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"

"What?" I ask with a raised eyebrow, glancing back to look at her. "If all she was going to do was insult people, she's lucky I cut her off before she suggested that Asia let herself be killed by her to ask for forgiveness from big G."

Rias who was shocked silent finally blinks off her confusion. "She would have done WHAT?!"

"L-Lu... t-tell me you didn't just restart the great war..." Mittelt whispers.

"Of course, not... I'm a neutral party." I deadpan as I hop out the hole in the wall.

The blue haired exorcist sits up slowly, bringing a hand up to her head as a second figure lands behind me.

"Do you care if I join in on this duel, Lucas?" Kiba asks as he slowly conjures a sword in his left hand. "I have a... let's call it a bone to pick with the wielders of the holy sword."

"Hn? What the hell are you talking about? I'm not dueling... I said I'd punch her through the wall... so I did." I state with a small frown.

The blue haired girl slowly stands up. "A suckerpunch?! You bastard."

"What the heck is wrong with you?!" The twin-tailed girl asks.

"You made several mistakes, friends, firstly, you insulted my girlfriend. Secondly. You are just being a massive bitch to your ONLY help. I am not associated with any faction, and while I may date a fallen, I am purely human. Now, if we are all calm now. Perhaps we can work something out... our little group of misfits can stop Kokabiel and save the world or whatever."

The blue haired girl glares at me. "Tch... how can I trust you?! You fraternize with devils and fallen, and use underhanded methods to attack."

I scratch my chin and glance to the side. "Hrm... how about this... we have a simple duel. A simple training bout...and if you win... you can do whatever the hell you want... go commit suicide via horde of fallen angels for all I care."

"But." I hum. "If I win. You let us help you."

"So... what you are suggesting is an opportunity for me to take out my frustrations on you... with no drawbacks?"

"Correct." I smirk with a small wink.

"It will be a two on two, then." Kiba states with a frown.

I glance at him again. "I don't understand what bone to pick you have with these holy toothpick wielders, but it probably isn't healthy."

"Are we in agreement then?" The blue haired exorcist asks. "A simple two on two fight. Simple training. Nothing more, nothing less."

I roll my shoulders and smile at the two exorcists. "Sure, sounds good."

"What the hell are you doing down there?!"

I glance up to see Mittelt standing in the hole in the wall with her arms crossed.

"Just a simple duel... I lose, they can do whatever they want... I win? They have to let us help them."

"…" she brings a hand up to her head and rubs her temple. "Lu... why?"

I look back at the blue haired exorcist. "Eh, it's probably the easiest way to solve this."

"Are you fucking insane?! Why the hell are you going to fight them?! Wouldn't that strain relations more?!"

"Nah." I scoff as I glance to Kiba.

"I-I guess this is fine." The brown haired exorcist sighs. "As long as we don't hurt each other... this won't be counted as a fight..."

I raise my hands. "Mittelt. Count us down."

"Why would I-"

"You either count us down or I toss a coin up in the air and we start when it hits the ground." I state with a shrug, feeling steadily rising killing intent from Kiba.

"That is a horrible ide-"

I hold up a one hundred yen coin. ***PING***

The coin sails through the air. "We start when that hits the ground."

Most of the Occult Research Club are watching out the window or around Mittelt who quickly jumps out the window.

It hits the ground with a dull thump.

Immediately Kiba blasts forwards towards the blue haired exorcist as the cloth around the object on her back explodes off, taking her cloak with it, revealing it to be a massive swo-

"W-"

Why are they wearing skin-tight body-suits...?

The girl deflects his attack to the side with the oversized greatsword, then kicks him in the side.

She lunges forwards, towards me as her cohort begins to fight Kiba with a scrunchy that transformed into a katana.

I smirk as she raises the greatsword high, briefly pausing before she swings it down in an arc.

I tilt my body backwards as I step forwards, twisting my body around hers as her attack goes wide.

Her blade smashes into the floor and launches me away as a massive crater is created.

I flip through the air and land on my feet, twenty or so feet behind her, just at the edge of the massive crater. 'dangerous...'

She slowly turns around with a small confident smile that slightly irks me.

I crack my wrist and narrow my eyes, only to smirk and tap my cheek.

The girl blinks slowly and brings a hand up to her cheek, widening her eyes as her fingers brush against a small cut that stains her fingertips with blood. "…"

Her eyes narrow as she remains silent.

Around my hand are writhing shadows of vines, dozens of large sharp spikes across their surface, giving the look of Briars. "You are going to have to try harder than that, y'know."

She slowly raises her sword with a grimace.

I take a moment to tear my eyes away from her body- yes, I am a male, sue me- to take a good look at her weapon.

It is quite strange, its hilt leads up to a handguard that looks somewhat like an axe, the handle continuing upwards for a bit before connecting to the blade, a wicked three-pronged... thing... that's about four feet long, it looks as if it had a center blade that had two single-edged blades stapled onto the sides...

The centermost blade has a purple color, and a red line running along its length.

The girl lets out a roar as she changes forwards again, swinging the sword in a downwards arc once more.

'please let this work- oh one hundred percent... nice.'

***CRACK-BOOM***

I fling one hand upwards, wreathed in shadow vines, meeting her sword head on and creating a massive explosion, causing a plume of dirt to be kicked up.

With a single kick I knock her out of the dust cloud.

Without her weapon...

The dust clears revealing my hand grabbing the lack of blade between the hand guard and the sword itself, black lines of vine creeping up the blade and creating little sparks as they touch it.

"What..." The exorcist quietly gasps.

I hurl it upwards, the greatsword flipping end over end as it falls towards me.

I catch it with one hand, tip pointing downwards and to the side.

I slowly exhale, shadows arcing around the handle and blade.

***FWOOMPH***

The ground is upturned as I swing the sword ahead of me, carving a cone of destruction that continues on for a good thirty feet... except for one spot... the exorcist crossed her arms, resisting the blast of air with only a couple of tears to her clothing, a rip on her stomach here, her sleeves getting completely blown off there, one of her tits are nearly hanging out, her body creating a shield for the remaining ten or so feet behind her in a triangle.

"A... natural holy sword wielder?!" She asks.

"Hey... this sword is pretty cool..." I hum as I point it dead ahead. "You've been disarmed so I'd say I've won out little duel."

"But you haven't beaten me!"

I dive to the side as a sharp flowing blade whirls through the air, almost like a ribbon, carving a crescent in the floor below.

'where is-'

I see Kiba kneeling across the battlefield, clutching his stomach with a wince.

'chance I can end this in the next ten seconds?'

**23.4%**

'I see one hundred percent it is.'

**100%**

'ah, bliss.'

I step forwards, swinging the massive sword once, knocking the ribbon-like blade away, quickly dashing towards the remaining exorcist.

She folds around my fist as I punch her in the stomach. "Guah-"

She rolls to a stop a short distance away as I point the holy sword towards her.

She looks up with wide eyes. "How..."

"I win."

I toss the blade behind me.

***Thunk***

It sinks cleanly into the ground, creating a small explosion. "So... that means you all have to help us kick Kokabiel's ass."

"That was the deal, right?" I hum with a small smirk as I hold out a hand to the girl.

She slowly grabs my hand and allows herself to be pulled up as the blue haired exorcist retrieves the piece of Excalibur

"You two aren't going to break our deal, are you?"

"Tch-" the blue haired girl frowns. "Of course, not... if we did not keep our word, what kind of exorcists would we be?!"

Her shoulders slump as her brown-haired friend slowly looks over to her. "I did not expect to find someone who could wield Excalibur out here..."

"Is that a rare thing or something?" I ask with a quirked eyebrow as I turn and begin walking back to the clubhouse.

"Considerably..." The blue haired girl mutters to herself, seemingly deep in thought.

I glance back to see Kiba unmoving, staring blankly at the ground, a broken expression on his face.

'hn.'

I glance forwards again. "I'm going to warn you from insulting your temporary allies by the way... we are helping you... your lack of any sort of empathy or insult-filter shouldn't jeopardize that."

"Anyways... I have to make a couple preparations..." I hum as I split off and walk over to Issei.

"Yo Issei, small question that may or may not be massively important to our survival."

He blinks slowly. "What... is it?"

"Have you seen dragon ball?" I ask with a small grin.

"Original, Z, or GT."

"Z or Gt." I answer.

"Yes... I have seen both, why?" He slowly asks, narrowing his eyes.

"Ooooh nothing much... and you said your devil power revolves around imagination, right?"

"Ye- OOOOOOOH shit!" He gasps.

"Indeed."

* * *

"Hey... Lu?"

"Yes, Milly?" I ask as I look down at her, she's laying across my lap on her back with a tired expression.

"Do you think we can really do this?" She mutters.

"Of course, we can." I smile down at her. "Have you _seen_ us?"

"Hm..." She lets out a low hum.

"You seem a little shaken." I frown down at her. "What's wrong."

"O-Oh... just a little nervous about fighting so many beings stronger than me." She mutters.

"Mittelt." I state with a half-lidded expression. "From day one you've made jokes about fighting Kokabiel, you knew it was going to happen at some point... what's actually gotten you so shaken up."

"It's... not important." She sighs as she shakes her head.

I reach down and pat her head, causing her to swat my hand away.

She slowly sits up with a sigh, shoulders slumping as she moves to sit beside me. "We are all probably going to die... we are going up with veterans of the great war... and what do we have? Less than twenty devils, six humans, and me..."

"And a hydra." I shrug, causing said black scaly lizard to poke one of its two heads over the back of the couch.

She shyly touches her fingers together. "A-Anyways, I need something to distract me... and considering we may quite possibly die in the next couple of days... you... don't want to die a virgin, do you? I-I really don't want to."

"Hn. Not particularly." I state. "Dying a virgin is maybe a five or so on the 'hope doesn't happen' scale.

She perks up slightly, gaining a slightly hopeful expression. "S-So you want to-"

***Knock* *Knock* *Knock***

I raise my eyebrow and look at the door as Mittelts slowly appearing smile falters.

'I didn't do that this time...'

She slowly looks to the door as well, but seeing as nobody is doing anything els-

***Knock* *Knock* *Knock***

Her eyebrow starts violently twitching as do her hands as she looks like she wants to violently strangle something.

The hydra lets out a small hiss as it quickly scurries under a nearby table, the tablecloth that nearly reaches the floor hiding it completely.

I get up with a frown and walk to the door, gently opening it to reveal Ravel.

"H-Hey... Lucas... do you care if I come in?"

"Why?" I slowly ask.

"I-I..." She shudders once. "I'm scared..."

She looks down and continues in a meek and quiet tone. "Back in hell, I-I never had to deal with anything like this... a-and I don't know what to do... I-I can regenerate, sure, b-but I'm not as good at it as the rest of my family... for obvious reasons... a-and if holy water caused so much damage to my brother... w-what would a cadre's light spear do to m-me?"

I let out a quiet sigh, glancing over to Mittelt who is frowning, but not as pissed as she was for getting cockblocked. "Yeah, yeah... come in."

I step aside, allowing the girl to walk in. "T-Thanks Lucas, Mittelt..."

She quietly walks over to the couch and sits down to her sister's right.

I meander my way back over and sit to Mittelt's left.

"C-Can we watch something?" Ravel asks in a quiet voice. "I need something to take my mind off all this madness."

"Sure." Mittelt sighs as she rubs her forehead.

Ravel tilts her head. "A-Are you mad about something?"

"No, just slightly annoyed." The six-winged angel sighs.

"W-Why?" The half-n-half questions.

"It's not important... don't worry about it..." Mittelt states as she holds up the remote and turns on the tv.

"A-Are you mad at me?" Ravel whispers, sounding absolutely heartbroken.

"Nope. Just sort of wish you had let me get laid."

Ravel takes a second to process that then turns beat red. "O-Oh I-I'm sorry I-I didn't mean to intrude, I-I can go if you really want me to-"

"No, No." Mittelt sighs as she waves the girl off. "Stay... if we die, I suppose hanging out with the two of you would be a good way spend the rest of my time... not my first choice, of course, but it works, I guess."

"I-I'm sorry!" Ravel exclaims.

"Don't worry about it." Mittelt shrugs. "Maybe this way, I'll fight harder knowing I'll have regrets if I die."

I pat the fallen's head causing the small girl to lean against me. "We'll get through it, alright?"

"Mhn..." She sighs. "I hope so..."

* * *

**I'M BACK MOTHERFUCKER! YOU THOUGHT ME GONE?! NO! THIS WAS SIMPLY ON A 7 MONTH LONG HAITUS! MUAHAHAH! I SAID I'D GO TO THE END OF KOKABIEL! AND I MEANT IT!**

**Just got hit by Procrastination-itus...**

**ANYWAAAYS**

**Guest Reviews:**

**HAH PSYCH! There were no guest reviews last chapter!**

**Kind of surprising considering the 7 month hiatus...**

**I'll see you all later.**


	17. Chapter 17

**I do not own Dxd, Only the oc and any 'new' sacred gear I have created.**

"Speech"

'Thought'

**"Powerful Entities Talking"** (Such as dragons and angry gods who are shouting)

**[Boost]: Ddraig**

**{Divide} Albion**

* * *

"Alright... we are going to split into four groups... the rogue members of the Grigori are somewhere in Kuoh... I don't know exactly where, and I don't think they will all be in once place. Fallen with more than six wings are arrogant, selfish, and more often than not, absolutely cannot stand to be staying in the same place as two-winged and four-winged fallen... so that is why we are splitting up... to cover more ground..."

"Is... that really a good idea?" The brown haired exorcist asks, I think her name was Irina.

Mittelt slowly nods. "considering the information, you have given, along with some more intel I have gotten last night... it is probably wise... you said the archbishop of genocide was here? And he has three Excalibur fragments... he is probably doing something with them..."

She cups her chin. "Rias... you and your Peerage are going to be group one... Sona, group two... Exorcists, you take magic eyes, blind boy, and mop man over there."

She gestures towards my three friends near the wall.

"I'll take Him and the immortal."

Mittelt gestures to me standing beside her with a thumb

"Are... you sure that is wise? Just the three of you?" Sona asks.

"Well, Lucas beat both the exorcists... and Ravel is immortal... plus I have two sets of wings... the group with the most power is the Gremory group... but I'd say mine is close behind... the plan isn't for us to split up and defeat our opponents, the plan is for us to find an enemy, then call the rest so we can all converge on them... if we can find any pieces of Excalibur? Even better. Lucas can apparently wield it."

Kiba narrows his eyes at the floor.

"Alright, so let's trade contact information." Mittelt states.

* * *

"What are we doing?" Mittelt slowly asks.

"Searching." I state.

"A-At the theatre?!" Ravel stutters.

"Uh, yeah. What if they decided to watch a movie?"

"…"

"Lu, that's fucking stupid. Why are we at the movies when we _should_ be searching the city?!"

"All I'm saying is that there's a high _probability_ that there's going to be at least one fallen looking for entertainment while they wait for the boss to tell them to kill everything."

"…"

She rubs her temple with one hand. "I hate how that makes even a little sense."

"S-So what do we do?" Ravel asks. "Do we go into each-"

"Hrm... Humans really have strange tastes in movies..."

"I know what you mean... but I guess a deformed man in a hokey mask with an axe is 'oooh so scary' to them... ugh, worthless race."

"…"

"…"

"…"

Mittelt, Ravel, and My mouth are completely straight as we stare at one another.

We all slowly look to see a man in a biker jacket with fiery and spiky, bright red hair, crouched on a nearby chair, absolutely killing it in wackamole.

"They do have better games than they did one hundred years ago..." A second man, this one with short blue windswept hair states as he watches the small Styrofoam hammer start to tear.

"Nah, man. This shit's boring." Red hair growls. "why can't we go out and kill a devil or something?"

"Bosses' orders." Blue hair shrugs.

I lock eyes with Mittelt...

She locks eyes with me...

I mouth the words 'called it'…

She resists the urge to strangle my smug ass...

All is good.

"Hold on... is that- SHIT!"

The two fallen are now looking at us.

Mittelt frowns and begins to walk forwards-

I grab her shoulder and cover her mouth as another figure walks past us, a woman with silver hair wearing a simple long black dress

"What are you two dumbasses doing?"

"What does it look like, wench? We're bored. Might as well see what this town has to offer before we torch it."

"Lord Kokabiel isn't pleased with the two of you running off..."

"Why? What's possibly could happen to us? I seriously doubt anything can hurt us. That pathetic Gremory peerage lost to a group of four humans, so they aren't a threat." The blue haired man states.

"Oh SHIT! I forgot about that!" The red-haired fallen grins. "That was probably one of the best things I've seen this decade... how does a simple human defeat two queens at the same time? Man I want to buy that crazy bastard a drink... what sort of crazy human would step in between two peerages and somehow manage to come out on top."

He tilts his head. "You think he lives in this town? If he does, I'll buy him that drink..."

Mittelt is staring at the back of my head.

"Then kill him."

"…"

I gain an impish grin.

'probability I can kick the shit out of the three of them?'

**2.7%**

'…'

'probability I can find some way to beat them in the next-'

"I found you! Shitty white-haired bastard!"

The three of us flinch, my hands immediately reaching out and grabbing the throat of a white-haired exorcist who was stabbing a weird looking sword at me.

He gurgles as he is taken to the floor, the two of us falling just out of view as the three fallen look over to the noise, Mittelt and Ravel just out of view as they stand behind a cardboard cutout.

My forehead smashes into the stray exorcist's nose... it's that guy that Zen fucked up all those weeks ago... huh.

Mittlet crawls over and snatches the sword away from him as we continue fighting on the floor.

He stops fighting after a brief struggle, I'm now behind him holding him in a chokehold, his hands clawing at my arms.

'probability that he's unconscious?'

**2.4%**

'probability that he's unconscious?'

**3.2%**

'probability that he's unconscious?'

**4.9%**

'probability that he's unconscious?'

**6.8%**

'probability that he's unconscious?'

**9.1%**

'probability that he's unconscious?'

**54.3%**

'probability that he's unconscious?'

**74.8%**

'one hundred percent it is.'

I drop him, causing the knocked-out psycho exorcist to flop forwards.

I slowly blink as two more swords fall out of his coat, one that looks fucking ridiculous with a golden spiral going along the blade, stopping the edge from actually touching anything, and another that looks slightly reasonable, with a V shaped gold handguard that has another V on top.

"…"

I mouth the words 'What do we do' to Mittelt and Ravel.

The two girls just shrug.

I look down at the swords. 'are these... Excalibur fragments?'

**Yes: 100%**

'probability I can kick the shit out of those three fallen over there with these weapons?'

**56.3%**

'Probability I can beat the shit out of those three fallen if Mittelt and Ravel help?'

**98.4%**

I see the ground below the exorcist glow for a moment, then he disappears through a teleportation circle.

"What the hell was that?" One of the fallen ask.

"Magic?" The suited one asks.

"Tch. It appears you fools have been found." The female states.

The world grows quiet as a barrier springs up around the surrounding block or so, common man teleported from the theatre

I slip all three swords into my sacred gear and step out with a confident strut.

"Well, I thought I heard someone talking about me."

"YOU?!" The red-haired fallen shouts before grinning viciously.

"Yo." I smirk with a small wave.

Tension is rising, I feel a gentle prickle of excitement.

"So... what's your favorite drink, brat?"

I shrug. "I'd have so say sprite probably. Can't go wrong with a nice sprite."

"That so?" He asks.

He lifts a plastic cup and walks across the room.

My eyes slowly trail after him as he struts to the drink machine.

There is an awkward couple of seconds as he fills up the cup and walks back over.

He holds it out to me, causing me to let out a single huff of laughter.

I take the drink and am immediately forced to lean back as a red sword of light slashes through where my head was less than a second before.

I do a back handspring with one hand and lift the plastic cup to him, straw now cut at a slanted angle. "Cheers, friend."

I pop the top off with a small squeeze and down the entire thing in a couple gulps.

I let out a long breath, and a single sniff. "that fucked with my lungs."

It's the fallen's turn to let out a single huff of laughter as he stands there holding a shortened spear of light, the end flickering like fire. "You've got balls, human. I'll give you that."

"Jealous?" I shrug. "Ah, anyways, you three better attack me all at once, because frankly I'll beat the shit out of all of you if you come at me all at once."

My statement seems to catch the red haired fallen off guard. "Wait... what?"

He lets out a hearty laugh as he slaps his knee. "Oh my god. I said you were fucking insane for fighting two queens at once... I never knew you were that suicidal."

His eyes widen in brief fear as I appear in front of him, finger pressed against his forehead.

He smacks my arm away with one hand before using the sword he was holding to slash at me... but I disappear completely.

My fist smashes into the back of his head as I reappear, quickly turning and rushing to the other two fallen who are slowly reacting, wings coming out, the blue haired fallen summoning a staff made of blue light, and the woman summoning two thinner spears with short shafts, basically making them daggers.

"YOU DAMN HUMAN!" The red haired fallen shouts as he rushes after me, six wings on his back and flapping madly.

I fade from existence just as I meet the other two fallen, phasing through their attacks completely.

They all widen their eyes as I reappear behind the red haired fallen and punch him in the back of the head... again.

"AGH! DAMNIT AGAI-** *GRK-***"

The black vine wrapped around his throat grows taut and tugs him back towards me, right into an awaiting kidney kick.

He is spun around to face me as I land a blow to his cheek, my hand blurring at speeds that It shouldn't be able to reach... it couldn't have been able to reach...

At least not until about a minute ago.

He falls backwards with a brutal ***CRACK* **I pull on the vine again, wordlessly tugging him towards me again, where he catches a snapkick to the chest that causes him to twirl out of the vine like a yoyo and smash into the woman fallen.

I blur towards the second six-winged fallen, the blue haired one, fist reared back.

His staff passes cleanly through my chest as I fade and reappear slightly behind where I just was, my fist rocketing towards the fallen's lower stomach.

He gags and folds slightly around my hand, my other hand snapping up and slamming into his nose, breaking it and causing him to stumble backwards.

The female fallen jumps to her feet- only to be promptly struck in the side by a pink spear of light that explodes and sends her through a nearby wall, quickly flying after her.

***FLASH***

A large magic circle appears somewhere behind me as I raise my hands, preparing to throw down with any of their reinforcemen-.

I blink slowly as Rias, Akeno, Kiba, Koneko, Issei, and... ugh... Pauline appears.

I look over to them, then wordlessly kick the downed red-haired fallen in the side, earning a quiet wheeze. "You're late."

I walk over to them with my hands behind my head.

Rias freezes. "W-Wait... what?"

I flinch as- ***FLASH* **the blue haired fallen takes this moment to reach out to his red haired ally and teleport the both of them away.

"SHIT!" I growl.

Mittelt walks out of the hole in the wall with a frown as Ravel pokes her head out from around the cardboard cutout, phone in hand.

"Did she get away?" I ask.

"No." She states. "I sent her back to the Grigori... did those two get away?"

"Sadly, yeah, got distracted by the Gremory group's appearance."

"How the hell were you even able to move like that, Lu?" Mittelt asks with a raised eyebrow. "You fought three six winged angles at the same time and horribly injured one."

"Sword." I shrug. "When it's in my sacred gear, it technically counts as me wielding it... apparently... thus, until this Kokabiel nonsense is done... and I have to give them back, I'm fast, I can turn invisible, and I can make illusions."

I let out a sigh. "We should just meet up with the others, right?"

Rias takes a moment to look around. "Wait... a theatre?... how did you know they would be in a theatre?"

"They're probably bored, so I looked in a place where they could find entertainment." I shrug with a smirk.

"Bitch, you just wanted to slack off, didn't you?" A certain black-haired, red turtleneck wearing girl asks.

"Shut the hell up, Pauline, this was calculated. Every. Single. Second. of it." I snap.

"Sure, bitch. Whatever." She scoffs.

"Do I need to leave you hanging on the side of a building again?" I growl with narrowed eyes.

"You can certainly try..." She smirks, her pink eyes gaining a dangerous glint. "But you'd die~"

"I don't know, my track record of killing you is currently one for one, I don't know if you'd want to risk making that two for-"

Mittelt covers my mouth with a single hand. "Yes, let's meet up with the others."

* * *

After that day... everything seemed to calm down... tensions quietly rising of course, we captured a few fallen here and there, nothing like the first day, however... mostly just a couple two-winged angels, and one four winged.

We eventually reconvene at the ORC club room.

"Find anything?" Mittelt asks with a frown.

"No..." The blue haired exorcist states as she cups her chin. "We have looked through the entirety of Kuoh by this point, correct?"

"Pretty much." I shrug.

"I assume they are outside the city... in which case... we may never find them." Sona adds in.

I frown at the floor. 'something... seems off about today.'

"What is it?" Rias asks, noticing my perturbed expression.

"I... don't know... but I'm feeling... uneasy."

I tap my fingers on the table with a frown.

The ground lights up as a massive magic circle appears below us.

""WHAT?!"" everyone cries as a white light washes over us.

I blink the spots out of my vision to see that we are all now in the middle of some forest.

"Hmph... well... how pleasant for you to join us... Heiress of Gremory... Heiress of Sitri."

We all glance up to see a man with pale white skin, long black hair, red eyes, pointed fangs and elf-like ears.

"Kokabiel..." Mittelt growls.

"Now, now, Mittelt... is that any way to speak to your superiors?"

He casts a glance over the rest of the group. "Hn... yes... I suppose this should suffice."

"Two exorcists wielding fragments of Excalibur... two devil heiresses." His eyes stray over Ravel. "And another from another fairly important family... not as much as the first two, of course, but the Phenex family is quite dangerous... but then we have you, Mittelt... you are perhaps an even larger piece than the devils behind you..."

"My goal to restart the great war may just happen if I send your father your head..."

"'Father'?" Sona mutters with a frown.

"Keeping secrets from your allies? Spawn of Azazel?" Kokabiel grins.

"A-Azazel?!" Rias gasps.

Mittelt frowns and lets out four wings. "Is this your gimmick, then? Revealing secrets to try shake us?"

"No, no... if I wanted to shake you, I'd simply utter another secret..." He smirks.

Another fallen angel floats down beside the ugly motherfucker, she has long blonde hair that reaches her lower back, light blue eyes, and a light skin tone, I hesitate to call it 'pale' because of what she is floating next to, but she definitely isn't tanned.

Upon her back are eight large black wings, she looks down at Mittelt with a sneer of disgust. "My My, Mittelt... how you have grown."

Mittelts eyes narrow as she lets out a low growl. "Mother... how _pleasant _to see you again."

I widen my eyes briefly and look in between the two women, as the eight winged fallen smirks. "How someone as pathetic as you could be my progeny, I have no idea... probably your worthless father's genes."

'I can see where she gets her 'smug' from... even if her mother's 'smug' pisses me off.'

"Mariel... Azazel may be a coward... but he is not weak..." Kokabiel states with a frown as his eyes stray over the group once more. "But... even you aren't the most important piece here, Mittelt."

His eyes lock with mine. "You..."

I slowly blink. "Pardon?"

"You... Lucas Vermilion are the biggest piece here..." He states with an excited grin. "I was worried that the great war would be like it had been... but with you... another group comes into play."

"…" My silence is enough for him to continue.

"Oh, you don't know, do you? Well, I suppose that is to be expected... _she_ did everything in her power to hide you... but... I've fought your kind before... and while your energy is subtle... being suppressed... I feel it... Son of Tyche."

"…"

I glance to Mittelt who is gaping up at Kokabiel.

"W-What?" She hisses.

Rias looks at the floor, deep in thought. "Tyche... Tyche... where have I heard that name before..."

Sona's glasses slightly fall off her face as she looks up at Kokabiel with wide eyes.

"Alright, who the fuck is Tyche?" I snap with a small growl.

Mittelts wide eyes trail over to mine. "T-Tyche... is the Greek g-goddess of fortune, chance, providence and fate... y-you're a Demi-God L-Lu..."

"Goddess? Hn, and here I am with a sacred gear... my dad must have had mad game." I smirk up at Kokabiel. "I don't give a shit. You say that I'm important, but frankly, I'm not... I'm just a human with a little power. Who cares who or what my mom is? Clearly that bitch didn't care about me if she just left me in an orphanage half way across the world. What will change if you kill me?"

Kokabiel smirks down at me, a sickly yellow spear of light appearing in his hand, it is easily the length of his body, several purple rings surrounding it. "Everything..."

The spear drifts downwards before picking up speed.

_"SCATTER!" _

* * *

**Thus the Kokabiel fight is in full swing! And what's this? Lucas is a god?! Well, this would explain the probability powers... ANYWAYS I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I made it an extra 500 words just for you! I was planning on stopping at the Glowey teleportation scene, buuut I thought this would be a much better cliffhanger!**

**Guest Reviews:**

**Deku Rose: Just planning on Ravel and Mittelt for now...**_** for now**_

* * *

**I'll see all of you when I complete another chapter...**

**Or this goes on a second 7 month hiatus... whichever comes first.**


End file.
